


The Newsroom

by BlueIntent



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: AU - The Newsroom, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-05-24 09:18:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueIntent/pseuds/BlueIntent
Summary: "You hired a new anchor without me meeting him?""Her.""Her?""And no, you've met her."The Chief of News at BBN hires a new anchor.





	1. Stuck in Reverse

Nedley held up a second empty glass, silently asking if Waverly wanted a drink. She shook her head and watched the News Chief at Black Badge News pour himself a glass and took an appreciative sip. “We’re going try Perry out at 10 o’clock. Starting in a week to give everyone time to adjust.”

“With the right E.P., he’ll be great. But I was hoping that you would move him to 8.” Waverly replied as she took a seat.

“And replace Stephanie?” Nedley asked with a raised eyebrow.

“We’ve talked about replacing Stephanie.” Waverly hesitated. “And, besides, she drinks. It’s just a matter of time before it becomes public knowledge. Even Wynonna thinks she’s a drunk which is really saying something.”

“I drink before the show.”

“You aren’t on live TV. Or even TV for that matter.”

Waverly’s intuition told her Nedley was hiding something. He wasn’t one for small talk.

“Any more blowback from your tirade in the Post? About when alternative facts become a reality, the media isn’t doing its job.”

She grumbled. “Well, I’m an outcast of the news community. But that’s not anything new so I’ll live. Fox has terminated its agreement with the show and CNN is threatening the same.”

“There is a fine line between genius and insanity.” Nedley said with a shrug. “You just told them how to do their jobs and reminded them they were doing a poor one at the moment. Of course, they’re going to be a pissed off. Fake news or not – generally journalists don’t print that America isn’t the greatest country in the world. Tends to go down like a lead balloon.”

Waverly didn’t respond. They’d had this conversation before – when he’d sent her away on a ‘holiday’ to avoid the worst of the fallout.

“I hired a new anchor for you.”

And there is was.

Waverly spluttered, “You hired—what—this is why I didn’t want to go on holidays! You hired an anchor without me meeting him?”

“Her.”

“Her?” Waverly parroted, as she struggled to comprehend.

“And no, you’ve met her.”

A worrying thought formed in her mind as the look of Nedley’s face was far too innocent. She knew that they kept in touch. Knew that Nedley had a soft spot for her a mile wide. Waverly brought her hands to the coffee table and stood up sharply.

“Who?” her voice raised an octave, not bothered that Nedley was her boss and could technically fire her. “Who have you hired to front my show?”

“I have to save your sinking ship. Stephanie’s on her way to obscurity. You needed change. You needed someone who would challenge you.”

“That’s not your decision.” Waverly snapped.

“You said yourself that you wanted to replace her. Your show is too big an asset to mess around with and Lucado is making me aware of the plummeting ratings. Stephanie doesn’t connect with the audience.”

“Chief…”

“Stephanie isn’t the right fit.”

“And she is?” Waverly spat.

“She was in Iraq for six months, in Homs before that. She won a Peabody and is a ratings juggernaut. She’s been doing live crosses from the frontline. She’s been shot at and abducted. And what was the most recent? Oh, that’s right an IED attack.”

“I’m aware of all that. But you don’t have my approval.” She gave him a withering look. “And I do have authorisation over the anchor selection for _my show_.”

“You would think so, wouldn’t you?” His coolness alarmed Waverly. “Clearly your agent dropped the ball.” Nedley threw back his drink and stood to make another. He knew Waverly would fight tooth and nail against his decision.

She reared back now, physically separating herself from his decision. “I’m going to check my contract. I’ll renegotiate.”

“Waverly, this isn’t going to go your way. It’s a done deal. I had to right the ship.” And when she failed to respond, Nedley called again, “Earp. When was the last time you saw her?”

She turned and looked back briefly before continuing out. “Fuck you. And fuck her too.”

\---

Xavier Dolls entered the bullpen and looked into the conference room that was currently occupied. Staffers were attentively watching a woman wildly scrawling on a whiteboard what appeared to be her attempt at a rundown. He dropped his backpack on the floor and took a seat.

When the meeting ended and staffers filed out, he rose to greet the woman he’d watched earlier.

“Xavier Dolls. Dolls is fine.”

He offered his hand, but since the woman’s were currently occupied by a powdered donut, he dropped it back to his side.

“Wynonna Earp.” She looked him up and down. “Sorry, I don’t recognise you. Did we have a meeting because I don’t really do them? Waverly handles the meetings.”

“Nicole brought me in as A.P.”

“Nicole? Who’s that?”

“Nicole Haught. The new anchor.”

Wynonna stared at him in shocked silence.

“For News Night” Dolls added.

“For News Night? But Stephanie… and Waves didn’t mention anything about…”

“Possibly because Ms Jones doesn’t know yet?” Dolls said, not wanting to get involved with office politics. Clearly Nicole had been lying when she had said everything was sorted. “You should probably keep this under wraps until it’s officially announced. And you have powdered sugar on your nose.”

“If the Chief hired Haught, we’d all know about it by now. Waves is going to flip her lid.” Wynonna said, more to herself than Dolls as she wiped her face clean.

Dolls looked slightly concerned by the statement. “Then, you’d better straighten this out if you don’t want to be caught in the crossfire when Haught gets here. And she will be here.”

“Fuck. I had better go.” Wynonna broke into a jog towards Waverly’s office. Finding it empty, she swore loudly and dug out her phone, frantically shot a text to Waverly to prevent her being blindsided.

Dolls watched with growing concern until, hearing an approach behind him, turned and saw Nicole exiting the elevator.

“Good. You’re here.” She dropped her own bag as she looked around, as if looking for something. Or someone. “Been waiting long?”

“Haught, there’s something I need to know.”

“Yeah?”

“Does Waverly Earp know that you’re her new anchor?”

“Well,” Nicole begun to answer sheepishly.

“You didn’t tell me you had a problem with Waverly Earp.”

“I don’t have a problem with Waverly.”

“Haught.”

“But she _might_ have a problem with me.”

“You failed to mention that.”

“Because that’s personal.”

“Tell me what the problem between you and Earp is.” Dolls voice hardened.

“I can’t.”

“I’m going to be in the unemployment line shortly. I turned down CNN for this.”

“Dolls, we’re going to do the best news show on TV. Stop being so dramatic.”

“Do I have a job here?”

“Yes of course you do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well…no.”

“You’re going to get fired.”

“No we’re not.” Nicole answered with little confidence.

Behind Nicole, Waverly’s entrance onto the floor stopped Dolls’ response. Instantly recognising who she was, Dolls backed away, whatever was going on felt like an unexploded bomb.

Nicole, sensed the presence behind her, turned around.

“Hey, Waves. It’s good to see you.” She flashed her most charming smile.

Waverly’s face hardened as her nickname fell easily from Nicole’s lips. Nicole looked much the same, but she was different, too. The time in the sun had turned her fiery red hair to a more golden colour and a smattering of freckles were just visible across her nose. The scar across her forehead, the souvenir of her close encounter with an IED drew Waverly’s eyes.

Nicole pressed on, undeterred by the awkward silence, or choosing to ignore it. “You look great. Read your article in the Post a few weeks back.” She shrugged and then her smile got a bit braver, a little bolder, a little more Haught. “The same old Waverly. Reclaiming journalism as an honourable profession. Declaring that America is not the greatest country on Earth. That we can be better.”

“My office.” It was given as a command not as a suggestion.

Waverly strode purposefully in that direction, and, after a short pause, Nicole followed. All eyes in the bullpen watched as the two disappeared into Waverly’s office.

“What’s the deal with them anyway?” Dolls asked as a man with an impressive moustache joined him.

“No Google in Afghanistan?”

“To busy dodging the bombs to care about my boss’s personal life.” Dolls deadpanned back.

“Probably should have done some research before latching onto Haught. She won’t last the week here.”

Dolls paled slightly. He’d moved here on the promise of a stable job. “What?”

“Nicole Haught is no gentlewoman and let’s leave it at that.”

Dolls wanted to question further but glanced down at the computer screen in front of him and saw that a yellow news alert had appeared. “You’ve got a news alert.”

Wynonna reappeared, looking concerned at the closed door on Waverly’s office. “It’s yellow.”

“It’s an explosion.” Dolls added.

“In the ocean so it’s not a big deal. It’s probably just an oil rig.”

Dolls just stared at her.

“Fine. Jeremy, get on the assignments desk and see if it leads to anything.”

Identifying who Jeremy was, Dolls headed in that direction. If he was only going to be here for a week, he may as well do something. Maybe if he proved his worth, he’d survive Haught’s execution.

 ---

“I tried to get in touch when you were on holidays. To tell you myself.” Nicole said as Waverly’s office door swung shut behind her.

Waverly sat down behind her desk, craving some semblance of control.

“Actually, I tried to get to get in contact a lot over the last two years. Did you get my emails?”

“Yes.” Waverly shifted in her seat, not quite avoiding looking at Nicole but not quite managing to maintain any eye contact either.

“What did you think?”

“I didn’t read them.”

“I understand. There’s no need to apologise.” Nicole bit her bottom lip to physically prevent herself for saying anything else moronic.

“Thanks.” Sarcasm heavy in Waverly’s voice.

The silence stretched between them.

 “You look good after your vacation. Rested. How is St Lucia, I’ve never been. Is it great?”

“Yes.” Waverly continued to answer in the shortest way possible.

“Did you go down there with anyone?” Nicole realised the conversation had now got way off-track by bringing up Waverly’s dating life. “It's not my business. You can go anywhere with anyone.” She hastily added.

“Thanks again.” Waverly said, as she leaned back in her chair.

“Look this can work. It’s going to work great. It’s a three year contract. We can make the show what you’ve always dreamed of. The one we talked about.”

“It’s not a three year contract anymore.”

“I’m sorry?” And for the first time, Nicole was flustered.

“It’s not a three year contract. It's a 156-week contract with an amendment that gives me the opportunity to fire you at the end of each week. We’ll wait the obligatory time and then make your firing permanent. Hopefully by the end of this week.”

“How the hell did you get my contract changed?”

“I gave back a portion of my salary.”

“How much?”

“A million dollars a year.” Waverly saw that the figure had angered Nicole by the red shade that had developed on her neck.

“You gave back a million dollars so you would be able to fire me?” Nicole said with disbelief.

“Well three million to be precise. And not at any time, just at the end of the week.” Waverly said in a casual voice that belied her nerves as she glared at Nicole.

“For god’s sake, how much do you hate me?”

Before Waverly could answer, her office door swung open and her sister entered with the unknown man who’d been talking to Nicole trailing behind.

 Wynonna eyes shot between the two women, sizing up the situation. Wynonna was quite willing to boot Nicole out of the office if Waverly gave the signal.

“Yes?” Waverly was glad for the interruption.

“An oil rig just exploded in the Gulf,” Wynonna started.

“Persian?” Nicole asked.

She shook her head, not sure if she is supposed to acknowledge Haught’s presence. “Gulf of Mexico. Coast Guard’s searching for 10 possibly 13 missing. I’ll fill you in at the rundown,” Wynonna declared, reading the look of her sister’s face that she no longer wants to be in her office with Nicole Haught.

“There’s more,” Dolls said, more to Nicole than Waverly.

“She don’t need to hear this right now.” Wynonna cuttingly said, meaning that Nicole didn’t need to hear it because she didn’t work for News Night.

“I’d like to hear it,” Nicole grinned. “You were saying Dolls?”

“Shit,” Wynonna said and Waverly thought.

“The story isn’t the fire,” Dolls continued. “They haven’t capped the well. It’s going to be an environmental disaster.”

Waverly sat straight in her chair. “Who is saying this?” she asked, warily, suspicious of this unknown person.

“Your guy, Jeremy.”

The four people in the room fell in silence, all sizing each other up.

“Jeremy!” Wynonna barked through the open door. “Tell us what you were telling him,” indicating Dolls with a nod.

Jeremy trotted into the room, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else.

“This well, Deep Water Horizon, turns out it has been accurately named. They’re drilling at 18,000 feet below sea level. The pressure at that depth is enormous. When the pin is yanked out, it’s hard to put back in.”

“Ok, but shouldn’t there be a pin that works?” Waverly leaned forward as she started to think Jeremy was onto something.

“After an explosion, the well should fail-safe via the underwater blowout preventer.”

“The what?” Wynonna asked what everyone else was thinking.

“It’s essentially a gigantic plug that caps the well and stops the release of oil. But with the size of the flames that are still present, that hasn’t happened. Oil is still being released.”

Dolls took over, flipping through his notes. “I have a source. They called me. The source tells me that if the blowout preventer didn’t close it’s probably mechanically failed and more than likely it cannot be fixed. A relief well is the next course of action but that will take months to fix. The owners are holding these meetings now. They don’t know what to do.”

 “While the well continues to spill oil at the rate of 4.2 million gallons a day,” Jeremy finished.

“At that rate, it’ll have spilled as much oil as the Exxon Valdez. In four days.” Dolls gave a triumphant look to Wynonna. “It may be the biggest environmental disaster in history. And it’s definitely the biggest news story for the day.”

“Wow wee,” Nicole whistled under her breath.

Waverly dipped her head to look at her desk, and then looked at Dolls and then to Nicole. Today was not going as she had planned.

Her office had filled up with a number of people hovering in the doorway.  Waiting for Waverly’s decision. Were they going to throw out the rundown?

“No wow wee. Who’s your source?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Hey, I don’t know you.” Waverly snapped. “I’m not going to air based on information from an unknown source from a guy I don’t trust.”

“Look, you don’t have to trust me. She trusts me. You just have to trust her.” Dolls said as he pointed at Nicole.

Waverly gave a mirthless chuckle. “Try another strategy.”

Nicole added “She can’t trust you unless you trust her.”

Another stalemate developed in the office. It was two sides of a battle that not everyone understood.

“All right, all unnecessary people out of my office and close the door.”

Once the office was less occupied, Waverly turned back to look at Dolls with an expectant look. Nicole gave a nod at Dolls to share.

“My source is my old college roommate.”

“Oh come on,” Wynonna muttered under her breath but was quietened by a sharp look from her sister.

“Does he have an axe to grind?”

“No, he knows I work in the media and was just passing on information. Everything he’s told me will eventually become common knowledge anyway. He’s just giving me, well us, the scoop.”

Quickly mulled over in her mind, Waverly knew that the man was onto something. Maybe she could keep Dolls when she fired Nicole?

Coolly, Waverly turned to Wynonna. “Where’s Stephanie?”

“Probably plastered.”

“At this time?”

 Wynonna nodded, “I can pull her in if you want, but at this time of the morning, you can’t put her in front of the camera. No matter how much coffee you pour down her throat.”

“Lonnie?”

“Isn’t answering.”

“Perry?”

“His kid’s ballet recital.”

She made a face. “Do you think Doc is up to it?”

“Economic news only. Not sure if he is up to breaking news. And the Chief won’t go for it with her here.”

“Is there anyone else?” Waverly pleaded.

Wynonna shook her head. “It’s Haughtface, an empty desk or we pass it off to Washington.”

It took two more seconds for her concede defeat. “Call Wardrobe. See what they can find for someone abnormally tall with red hair.”

“I’ve got an outfit with me,” Nicole cut in helpfully.

Waverly grimaced slightly. Today was spinning out of control.

“Wynonna, can we be ready by the half hour?”

“I’m on it. I’ll steal Tim. We are shorthanded at the moment.”

“Dolls can help,” Nicole offered.

“Go, pull everything together. I’ll write up her notes and get them to you in five,” Waverly waved a hand to release everyone but Nicole. “This isn’t a commitment, Nicole. I want you to understand that. You’re gone by the end of the week.”

“Whatever you want Waverly.” She gave a slight sigh, she’d waited two years for Waverly to give her a glimmer of hope. A way back. But her being here wasn’t changing anything.

\---

The broadcast was going about as well as it could considering the situation.

Nicole noted that some guy named Jerry handled most of the communication in her ear. Waverly only stepped in infrequently. On the floor, Wynonna strategically placed herself in Nicole’s sight and just glared.

During one of the commercial breaks, Nicole saw an opening, “Waverly, I just want to get a couple of things straight.”

“You’re on TV in 90 seconds, now is not the time.” Nicole couldn’t see Waverly’s face in the Control Room, but she recognised the tone. Nicole was on thin ice, but having nothing to lose, she pushed on.

“Now is an excellent time.”

“People can hear you.”

“Then take me off,” Nicole waited a couple more seconds before pushing on. “You’re the E.P. From 8 till 9, five days a week. You own me. And I know that’s for my own good. I didn’t come back for Jerry to be my E.P.”

Nicole was met with silence.

“Waverly.” Nicole said, as she stared into the camera.

Waverly remained silent.

“Say, ‘I understand’ Waverly. This isn’t going to work any other way.”

“This _isn’t_ going to work. But I understand.” Waverly relented.

For the rest of the broadcast, Nicole only heard Waverly’s voice in her ear.

And that felt like coming home.

\---

Nicole caught her at the elevator landing as she was leaving for the night. Waverly wondered if Nicole had been waiting for her to leave her office.

Seeing the redhead approach, Waverly pushed again, more urgently, at the call button, knowing full well it didn’t make a difference.

“Great show tonight. Leading with spill was the right call.”

Waverly stayed silent.  

“Can I talk to you?”

“In a week, you’ll be gone. And the show is over for tonight.”

“The show’s when you talk to me, not the other way around.” She offered the patented winning Haught smile, the one that always made her melt on the inside. And Nicole knew it.

The elevator door slid open and Waverly stepped in gratefully, immediately pushing the button for ground level.

Nicole leaned against the door, preventing Waverly from escaping.

“Yes?” Waverly asked, bitterness leaking into her tone.

“Do you remember when I first met you? At the National Network Awards – the stupid one where all the networks pretend to like each other? You were being recognised for your stories on the influence of lobbying in Washington. I was—“

“You were there with your latest floozy.”

Nicole looked at her curiously, not sure what Waverly was getting at. “You were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. It took me all night to work up the courage to talk to you and give you my card.”

“If only you hadn’t.”

Nicole ignored the comment and pushed on, “I ran that card so many times through my fingers that when I gave it to you, it was all creased and bent. I wondered if you could see my nerves as I was practically jumping out of my skin. And when I finally got to talk to you—you were perfect. I left my date…”

“A habit you should seek help for.”

Nicole ignored the remark. “And we had drinks in that bar, what was it called again?”

Shorty’s Waverly’s mind screamed but she stayed silent.

“Shorty’s” Nicole said with a click to her fingers.  “We talked for hours. And after that night, I just couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

“Do you use that line with all the girls? That we were all unforgettable. So many girls to catch up with now that you are back. I’m surprised you haven’t collapsed with exhaustion.” Waverly scoffed as she lashed out in an attempt to force Nicole to leave.

“Waverly.” A hint of something flashed across Nicole’s face, but it was just as quickly hidden.

“Let me go,” she said impassively, gesturing at the hand holding open the elevator door.

Nicole’s hand tightened on the door like a question unasked. Just hanging there, waiting.

But Waverly refused go there – she had locked it all away years ago when Nicole disappeared from her life.

Nicole didn’t seem mad or frustrated at the brick wall Waverly had formed around herself. Waverly would have been pleased for any emotion other than Nicole’s normal sunny disposition that had irritated her all day.

Nicole just gave a small smile and removed her hand.


	2. Lost something I can’t replace

Wynonna flopped down on a spare seat next to the desk Nicole was using in the bullpen.

“What ya working on?” Wynonna asked. “Booking flights? Working out what hellhole to slink off to?”

“Don’t start again.” Nicole said as she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. She’d been putting up with Wynonna’s cutting remarks and Waverly’s hostility all week and her patience was wearing thin.

“Don’t start what?” Wynonna replied innocently, butter would have melted in her mouth.

Nicole just gritted her teeth. She knew coming back was going to be hard – but she was starting to think that there was too much baggage, too much heartache to make it work. “What are the chances you’ll drop this?”

“Somewhere between not a chance and stick it.” There was a hardness in Wynonna’s eyes that Nicole had never seen directed at her before.

“So I guess you’ve heard,” Wynonna continued.

“Heard what?” Nicole reluctantly asked.

“It’s official - you’re the interim anchor. Stephanie will be back after her rehab stint.”

Nicole flinched – interim was temporary. “Excuse me, I need to talk to Waverly.”

Dolls overheard the conversion and remembered Doc’s remark about Nicole’s supposed less than stellar past behaviour. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he typed the parameters ‘Haught + Earp + split’. His finger hovered over the search button, hesitating if he really wanted to go down this rabbit hole. Sighing slightly, he pushed the button and watched as a series of headlines appeared on the screen.  

_Too Haught to handle?_

_Earp burnt by Haught Anchor_

_Haught Anchor sinks relationship_

_Sprung Anchor Departs for Syria_

The relationship between Waverly Earp and Nicole Haught had been thoroughly examined by the tabloid news. Dolls clicked on an article from The Guardian that seemed the most unbiased and therefore the most believable. The other articles seemed heavy on innuendo, puns and sleazy.

Reading the article led to a number of obvious facts – Earp and Haught had been in a personal and professional relationship. Nicole Haught was the up-and-coming anchor with her hot-shot Executive Producer girlfriend, Waverly Earp at her side. Wedding bells were thought to be on the horizon before it all came crashing down - allegedly because of Haught’s womanising behaviour.

Soon after the demise, Waverly had given an interview attempting to absolve her wayward anchor. However Waverly’s lacklustre defence failed to sway public opinion with Nicole all but confirmed as a cheater. Faced with plummeting ratings, BBN chose to retain their star producer while suggesting Haught move on.

That Haught moved on to a warzone seemed to all but confirm that she was the villain in the story.

Leaning back in his chair, Dolls tried to comprehend what he’d had just read. He and Nicole had formed a team early on in her time in Syria. She had always remained strangely mute on how she had ended up on the other side of the world.

Had Haught been running away?

\---

Nicole Haught was back in her newsroom.

Waverly had spent the last two years eradication her from every corner of her heart. She’d lived for two years in dread, physically flinching at every report of an injured journalist. The one time Nicole had got abducted, Waverly had thrown up in Nedley’s garbage can, her sister holding her hair back, rubbing small circles on her back.  

Wynonna had held a hushed conversation with the Chief before she was bundled out of the office and tucked into bed. Wynonna didn’t leave her side until a report came through of a successful raid that freed two journalists. Nicole had reappeared on a live cross the following week in Iraq.

But relief had quickly morphed back into anger both at herself for caring and at Nicole…because well she was Nicole.

“You failed to mention that I was only the interim anchor.” The betrayal was heavy in Nicole’s voice.

Waverly met her reproachful look head on. “BBN has a moral obligation to Stephanie.”

“You sent her to rehab!” The frustration evident in Nicole’s voice.

“And you’ll be replacing her while she’s unavailable. It’s longer than one week. So take what you get.”

“That’s not what I was promised.”

“And I was promised that I would never have to see you again.” Waverly snapped with what was truly on her mind, the issue that they had been dancing around since Nicole had stepped back into her newsroom. “Remember when you promised that?”

“Only because you asked.” Nicole stared at her with wide eyes, pleading with Waverly to understand. “God, Waves, leaving you was the hardest think I’ve ever done. It destroyed me.”

“Little heavy on the melodrama aren’t we?” Waverly snorted, hating the way her nickname still fell easily from Nicole’s lips.

“You’re determined to not let me in, aren’t you?” Nicole paused briefly, “if you just read one of emails, you’d understand.”

“I deleted them.”

“I figured as much. Knowing you weren’t reading them was really morale building while chained to a wall in…”

“Don’t,” she cautioned. “Don’t you dare go there.”

Nicole’s opened her mouth to retort she kept silent as she’d shared much more than she had originally planned.

“Stephanie will be terminated in due course. But you know what HR is like. The situation has to be handled delicately. We don’t need a scandal.”

“When?”

“No longer than 12 weeks.”

“And my original three year contract?”

“Will be reinstated”

“Yeah?” Nicole chewed at the corner of her thumb, anxious to leave before Waverly provoked her into any further admissions.

“There’s one more thing.” Waverly shuffled through papers on her desk, refusing to look at Nicole. “I think most people here know that you and I were together a while ago.”

“I think so too.” Nicole tried not to sound too cynical. “Wynonna’s colourful names for me have probably cleared up any lingering confusion.”

“I don’t want anyone to know why we’re not together now.”

“I think it’s a little late for discretion. It was in those trashy magazines.”

Waverly looked at Nicole with a raised eyebrow.

“Sure, Waverly. Whatever you want.” Nicole conceded.

“I mean no one.”

“You think I’m going talk about it?”

“I find it hard to predict what you will or won’t do.”

Nicole signed deeply. “I won’t be telling anyone.”

“No one at all.”

“Would you like us to pinky promise or thing?” Nicole said with a small smile, holding out her little finger.

Waverly gave a near indiscernible shake of her head. “You tend not to keep your promises.”

For a brief moment, Nicole considered given a sharp retort, but then her face shuttered.  

Waverly wanted to apologise but chose not to out of both vindictiveness and a lingering need for self-preservation. She feared that if she prolonged the conversation, the walls she had erected would come crashing down. The way Nicole looked at her made her heart clench.

“We have the pitch meeting.” Waverly said as she stood up, effectively ending the conversation.

Nicole held open the office door for Waverly and followed her across the bullpen to the conference room where the team had assembled.

“I want to go on record saying we should open with the spill.”

“Okay.”

“I can open with the spill?”

“No, but you’re on record.”

“The spill is all anyone’s talking about.”

“We’ll still report it, just not at the top.”

“An oil rig sinking into the ocean – that’s good television.”

“We do the news, not good television.” Waverly said over her shoulder ending the conversion.  “Immigration will be the lead story.”

\---

“So, I’ve given it some thought.”

Waverly looked up as Nicole entered her office for the second time for the day. Nicole didn’t really enter the office - more hovered awkwardly in the doorway, looking like she wanted to be anywhere but here.

“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe us, me, being here is too much. A bad idea.” 

Waverly looked down at her desk, pretending to read the report in front of her.

“I’ll stay until find someone to permanently replace Stephanie and I’ll…”

“Run off to another war?”

Nicole gave a self-conscious huff and shoved her hands in her pockets. “I think I’ve done my dash with wars. But I’ll find something.”

Waverly finally looked up from the papers scattered on her desk. Nicole was taken aback by how exhausted she looked.

“Seems like you’ve made up your mind.”

“Yeah. Well, I’ll tell the Chief…he’ll understand,” Nicole trailed off with a sigh of resignation.

Nicole…I…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.” Waverly’s tone made it sound like a question.

“Me too,” Nicole dully replied, believing that Waverly accepted her leaving as a foregone conclusion.

“No, Nicole, really I am.” For the first time, Waverly truly looked at Nicole. “I was angry at the Chief for trying to change the direction of the show without my input. For trying to correct the faults with the show. But I’d like to try.”

Nicole held up her hands, signalling defeat. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s been too long and we’ve both changed. Probably not for the better in my case. I don’t want you to resent me any more than you do now.”

Waverly watched at Nicole, who was staring down at the floor, rocking backwards and forwards on the soles of her feet. She looked so defeated. So lost.

“One more thing.” Waverly knew it wasn’t a good time to bring up more bad news.

“Yeah?”

“We lost the live cross to the Governor.”

“What? Get someone else from the office.”

“We lost the entire office.”

“Day side has been running promo for the last six hours on the lead story of immigration with a cross to the _Governor_.”

It really felt like kicking Nicole when she was down. “But we’ve booked alternatives. We’ve replaced her with a Professor and a member of the citizens militia.”

“What?” The disbelief heavy in Nicole’s voice.

“The other networks have already booked the best guests so we were short of options and time.”

“Please tell me this is a joke?”

“It’ll be fine. You’ll carry them. Just keep their speaking to a minimum.”

“Who fucked up?” Nicole growled.

“I’m not telling you that.”

\---

It turned out that the Professor that News Night had booked was a professor at an online university who was self-published. And what he did publish were crackpot theories.

The segment did not go well.

Waverly’s voice in her ear telling her to dump out of the interview was ignored as Nicole tried to make it work.

It didn’t. And Nicole’s foul mood worsened.

“I once cheated on my girlfriend.”

Such a left field admission made Nicole look up from her notes at the desk. Trying to get her head around the purpose of a citizens militia was driving her crazy and it was up in the next segment. The next interview could not be as bad as the last.

“I was the cheater,” Dolls repeated. “In college.”

“Dolls?” Nicole questioned. Did Dolls want her to reprimand him?

“I cheated on my girlfriend.”

Several more seconds passed.

“Did you go to Syria because you cheated on Earp?”

“Where’d you hear that?” Nicole stuttered, a heavy blush developed on her cheeks.

Dolls showed Nicole the google search on his phone, Nicole quickly skim read the headlines.

“Don’t you spread this,” she warned.

“I am literally the last person in this newsroom to learn of this.”

Nicole swore quietly under her breath. “I don’t owe anyone an explanation. But the timing worked out well personally. Waverly and I, well, it was better for me to not be here.”

“Ok, sure.” Dolls replied, not believing the explanation that fell awkwardly from Nicole’s lips. He stepped back and counted down to a return to News Night.

The remaining broadcast limped to the finish line. The last minute guests all lacked basic conversational skills which made for stilted and dry viewing. The yes-no answers didn’t exactly lend themselves to an intelligent discussion.

And Nicole was fuming.  

As soon as Dolls called “We’re out,” she ripped off her headset and threw it aside. She glowered at the Control Room and gave a dark look to Dolls as she exited the studio, heading towards the News Chief’s office.

But Waverly blocked her path.

“Are you in or are you out?”

“What?”

“You heard me. Are you in or are you out? Are we doing this thing?”

Nicole looked at Waverly incredulously. “Are you seriously mad at me now?”

“When I say dump out of it – you dump out of it. You’re the one that correctly claimed from 8 till 9, I own you.”

“I have to give you credit for thinking you can chew me out - this was your fuck up.”

“I’ll chew you out on any given day. On any given thing.”

“I don’t believe what I’m hearing.”  

“We fucked up. On a huge subject. But ours was a mistake. Yours was fear.” Waverly crossed her arms. “Tonight’s Friday. By Monday, I want to know—are you in or are you out?”

Waverly stormed away, not waiting for a response.

Nedley’s secretary just waved her into his office when she made his floor.

 “You deserve a personal apologise for tonight’s show.”

“The show kind of got away from you,” Nedley with an amused tone.

“It bordered on unprofessional.”

“I would normally blame the E.P. – but she did tell you to dump out of it.”

“It was my fault.” Nicole conceded, the reaming she got from Waverly still ringing in her ears.

Nedley shrugged. “I knew there would be some conflict and tension. But you two will find your groove. You both want what’s best for the show and the best needs both of you firing on all cylinders.”

“Yeah well, I’m not sure this is going to work” Nicole said with a frustrated sigh. “You should start looking for a permanent replacement.”

“Wait it out. She’ll thaw. Have a little faith.”

“Right now I’m wondering why I’m here. CNN pitched the lead in for Tonight. I would be good at that.”

“But you’re great at this. You and Waverly make an incredible team.”

Nicole scowled. Her and Waverly _use to make_ a good team – it was past tense.

“I concede that I may have misjudged her initial reaction.”

“Misjudged? That’s an understatement.”

“It’s been two years. Time hasn’t helped?”

Nicole shook her head and frowned slightly. “I can’t work out if she’s mad that I came back or mad I left in the first place.”

“Probably both. Get it together down there - fast. Lucando does not entertain fools.”

\---

By the time Nicole got back down to the bullpen, everyone else had left for the night. No doubt doing what they usually did when the show was a disaster – drowning their misery at the bar down the street.

Slumping down at her desk, Nicole kicked at the box of her belongings sitting on the side, still unpacked. Unpacking wasn’t worth it if she was to slink away quietly in the night.

Rifling through the box she pulled out an old photograph from the last time she had resided in the BBN building. It was a photo taken at the conclusion of the Roundtable on Election Night – Nicole was sitting at the anchor desk with Waverly behind her, her hand laying causally on her shoulder. Doc was at her left with Wynonna leaning against him.

They had all been happy.

Reaching for her phone, Nicole bought up Doll’s number and pushed the screen for the connection.

“Is Waverly about?”

“Yes.” Wariness heavy in Dolls’ voice. “Haught, don’t…maybe, just…”

“Can you put her on the phone?”

Dolls hesitated, unsure if he wanted to get caught in the middle but he relented. “Yeah. Wait a sec.”

Nicole could hear Dolls walk, she assumed before Waverly. She could hear the background noises of the bar.

Then the muffled sound of “It’s Haught,” as the phone was transferred from Dolls to Waverly.

Waverly’s voice came down the line, quiet with exhaustion and sorrow. “I’m sorry about everything. About…”

Nicole cut her off, “I’m in.”

“What?”

“I’m in.” Nicole repeated.

“You’ll stay?” Waverly’s voice got stronger.

“See you Monday Waverly.”

 

 


	3. Luck of the Irish

“Good evening, I’m Nicole Haught. This is News Night, and that was vision of Richard Clarke, former counter-terrorism chief for Bush 43, testifying before Congress. He opened with an apology for having failed to keep America safe. Americans liked that moment. I liked that moment.”

Nicole paused briefly before continuing, “Adults should hold themselves accountable for their failures. And so, tonight, I’m beginning this broadcast by acknowledging the failure of this program to successfully inform and educate the American electorate. To disseminate information.”

“Because that’s not offensive for those that have been here for longer than a month,” whispered someone sarcastically in the Control Room. 

“Quiet,” Waverly ordered.

“From this point forward, we’ll be deciding on what goes to air based on one factor - that nothing is more important to a democracy than a well informed electorate. You may ask, who are the ‘we’ in the decision making process? ‘We’ are Waverly Earp and myself. Ms. Earp is our executive producer, who marshals the resources of over one hundred reporters, producers, analysts, and technicians. I’m News Night’s managing editor and will make the final decision on everything seen and heard on this program.”

Another voice hissed, “Wait, is she saying that we’ve been shit for the last two years?”

“She’s saying we’re rededicating ourselves to our goal. We’re pivoting.” Waverly brusquely replied, repeating what Nicole had said when she’d shared her script with her and the Chief earlier that day.

“It’s allowing the public to make an informed decision,” Nicole had said. “Stephanie’s gone, I’m here. We need to pivot. We have the responsibility to inform. To avoid sensationalising news for ratings.”

“And how is the top floor going to react to this new direction?” Waverly asked. “Lucado isn’t charitable enough to keep up employed if we aren’t profitable.”

“She is sensitive to public perception, from outside influence. But News Night is the crowning jewel of BBN.” Nedley replied with a shrug as he continued to read Nicole’s script.

“And she’ll be fine an on-air apology? One where we say we’re quitting the game of chasing ratings?”

“There has been no pressure from the top. Not since Haught came back to head the show.”

“You mean figurehead?”

“Technically you’re both oarsmen and I’m the coxswain. Responsible for steering and strategy. We make a brilliant team.”

Nicole snorted – Waverly’s genius was tempered by her unpredictability.

Waverly heard the snort and arches a brow at her like a threat.

Nicole adopted an innocent expression.

“I’ll handle anything that comes from above.” Nedley added as he handed the script back to Nicole. “After all, we’re the media elite.”

\---

 

Dolls, working on a story for B-block about an abducted aid worker, was disturbed by Wynonna flopping into the seat across from his desk.

“So…how long were you over there?”

Dolls had been wondering when this topic would come up – Wynonna had been asking round-about questions about Syria and Iraq for weeks. But Dolls refused to make it easy for her.

“About 18 months.”

“Just you and Haught?”

“And Pete our cameraman. Also a local stringer – Nizar.”

“How’d you end up there?”

Dolls reached across the desk and handed her the donut he’d picked up with his coffee this morning. The morning chat had become somewhat of a tradition between them – although the conservation usually revolved around the rundown or breaking news. Wynonna tended to be more receptive to his suggestions while she was eating hence why Dolls had begun supplying the donuts.

“I was freelance at CNN. Barely making rent. They were looking for someone to head to Syria. I didn’t have a lot to lose.”

“Except your life.”

“For the most past, it’s not that dangerous,” Dolls replied with a shrug. “I figured it would make or break my career.”

“And which was it?”

“I appear to be doing okay.” Dolls replied, gesturing slightly to the bullpen around them.

“How’d you fall in with Haught?”

“Didn’t have much say in the matter. Haught was a pretty big coup for CNN when she showed up over there. Had enough authority to pick her own team. She picked me.” Dolls was still amazed at that turn of events.

“Were you with her when she got grabbed?”

“Yeah”

Wynonna just stared, waiting for Dolls to elaborate.

“We stopped at a checkpoint in Wadi al-Nasara. That’s in Talkalakh District, about 40 kilometres west of Homs.”

“That can’t be safe.”

“We thought it would be. It’s close to the Lebanese border. It’s a common thoroughfare for traffic heading to and from Damascus.”

Wynonna huffed in disbelief.

“Anyway, as we approached the checkpoint, something spooked Nizar. He wanted us to bypass it. But we were there legally, we had all the paperwork. And the men at the checkpoint had guns so doing a very obvious backtrack didn’t seem like a good idea.”

“Syrian soldiers?”

“Hayat Tahrir al-Sham. We think.”

“Whose side were they on?”

“That’s the million dollar question. For the most part, the rebels. But both sides are fighting ISIS. So sometimes the lines are blurred.”

Wynonna was captivated.

“We’d taken that hostile environment training course with Centurion. We thought we’d recognise the bad before it escalated.”

“You get trained?”

“Yeah, it’s needed for the insurance. Anyway, that day - the men at the checkpoint were antsy.  And antsy men with guns is not good. Nothing that Nizar said calmed them down. They must have either recognised Haught or realised she was the one most likely to be on camera. They pulled her and Nizar out of the car and ordered us to drive away.”

“Shit man.”

“Hardest thing I ever did was leave her. I can still see her in the rear vision mirror. It is still the only time I ever saw her scared. Word was that her and Nizar were traded for the return of a group of captured rebel soldiers and passed to a bad group of militia men. The rest was in the news.”

“Yeah, we covered it. Special Ops mission extracted them along with a couple of others. Right?” Wynonna didn’t share that she and Waverly hadn’t personally covered the story because Waverly had essentially been comatose since the story broke.

“Correct. But they got lucky. The military already knew where the hideout was. The mission was planned _before_ they got kidnapped. It was just lucky that they got moved there in time.”

Not knowing that part of the story, Wynonna eyes widened in shock.

“It happened a lot. She had the luck of the Irish. That’s what the Marines called her.”

“Irish?”

“Yeah. She seemed to have all the luck in the world. Until she didn’t.”

“You mean last May?”

Dolls nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we were back in Iraq and embedded with the 4th Infantry Division for Operation Inherent Resolve.”

“Near Mosul?”

“Not that close. We were based in Balad.”

“Balad?”

“It’s about eighty clicks north of Baghdad. You know where Baghdad is right?”

Wynonna nodded with a glare.

“Good, because there will be a test at the end.”

This earnt Dolls the balled up donut paper bag in the face.

‘Anyway, her gut must have warned her something was going to go down. She banned me from going that day – said I had to catch up on paperwork. And she switched seats. She always sat behind the driver. But she was sitting on the opposite side that day.” Dolls fell silent, lost in his memories.

“So when the IED was tripped…” Wynonna lead with, wanting Dolls to continue with his narrative. 

“The blast killed the driver. Would probably killed her if she’d been sitting in her normal seat. Instead, she only had some fairly extensive bruising and some shrapnel wounds. Including that one on her forehead. Lucky she’s got a very hard head.”

“Shit.” It’s all that Wynonna could think to say.

“Yeah, the report came over the radio of the blast about 30 clicks away. I panicked. I couldn’t get in contact with her. I just…knew.”

Both of them fall silent, both lost in the story. About what could have been.

What Dolls hadn’t shared was that when he had finally managed to track Haught at the local hospital, she’d been in so much pain that she had been calling out to someone in delirium. At the time, Dolls had thought Nicole was asking for a ‘Ways’ and had promised to call this mysterious person. It had been the only thing that calmed down Nicole.

When he had asked Nicole about it after she had been released, she’d awkwardly laughed it off, claimed he must have been the one given the strong painkillers because clearly he’d been hallucinating.

Except Dolls now knew that ‘Ways’ was actually ‘Waves’.

And that made him hate Waverly just a little bit.

“Well, I’d better get back to this,” Dolls finally said, gesturing at the paperwork on his desk. It wouldn’t do him well to dwell on the past.

“Yeah, of course.”

“And I want the story of the abducted air work in A-block.”

“Yeah. Fine, whatever.” Wynonna said with a wave as she walked off, chomping away at her free donut.

\---

By her nature, Waverly was not a vindictive person. But Nicole being back – in her newsroom – made Waverly want to prove to herself and to Nicole that there were no lingering feelings. That she was over her prodigal anchor.  

Exiting the Studio after Monday’s show, Nicole meandered back towards her office, making small talk with other people as she passed. She stopped to talk to a man sitting in a swivel chair out the front of her office.

“You’re dressed too nicely to work here.”

“I’m here to meet Waverly.”

“Are you a friend or something?”

 “We’re going out.”

“Going out?” Nicole tripped awkwardly over the words.

“Yeah.”

“On a date?” Nicole asked in clarification, the words clumsy on her tongue.  

“Yeah.” The man, Will, glanced around the bullpen. “Do you know where she is?”

“She’ll be along shortly.”

Nicole hurried away to hide in her office. The last thing she wanted was to be there when Waverly arrived to meet her date. Through the frosted glass, Nicole saw Waverly arrive and hug the man before they both left together.

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

Nicole corralled Dolls as he left for the night and convinced his that a night of drinking was in order.  If Dolls saw the pain in her eyes, he wisely didn’t mention it.

On Tuesday night, it was Jay.

Two nights later, a gossip columnist called Nina Howard.

On Friday night, Nicole hustled to catch Waverly as she exited the Control Room. She could see another date waiting for Waverly in the bullpen.

“Still not you’re demographic,” Nicole muttered under her breath, fully intending Waverly to hear.

“She’s a doctoral student.”

“Of what?”

“Physical therapy.”

Nicole grimaced in the dark hallway. “There are better ways to get back at me.”

“I’ll put up a suggestion box.”

Nicole took her elbow, stopping Waverly for exiting the hallway and stepped closer to the smaller woman. Being this close to Nicole, Waverly could tell that Nicole still smelled like vanilla dipped donuts. It made her heart ache.

“Can I warn you about something? You're a successful, beautiful and famous woman. And for that reason, she may want to, you know…”

Waverly fixed her with a calm gaze, daring her to continue. She saw that a slight blush had developed on Nicole’s cheeks. 

“You know…” Nicole appealed.

Waverly, enjoying how uncomfortable Nicole was, replied with, “I think I do know. But that doesn’t sound like something that should come with a warning. That sounded like something that should come with balloons.”

“Waverly.” The corners of Nicole’s mouth twitched into a frown, her eyes saying everything that was left unsaid.

“We’re not dating Nicole. I can date whomever I want.”

Waverly pushed open the hallway door and walked away.

\---

Dolls watched the conversation between Waverly and Nicole with dismay and decided that this was the opportunity to have an awkward conversation. His liver couldn’t deal with a fourth night of drinking.

Seeing Waverly tell her date to wait while she collected her belonging, Dolls slipped into her office.

“What is it now?” Looking up and being surprised to see Dolls instead of Nicole, Waverly offered a stilted explanation. “I thought you were someone else.”

“I want to say something that’s inappropriate, insubordinate, and likely grounds for termination,” Dolls began, having practiced the speech for the last couple of days.

“What?”

“You could give Haught a break and meet your dates in the lobby.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Dolls shrugged his shoulders but his expression clearly showed his confidence that he did.

“Look. She left me.” Waverly exhaled sharply as she shared more than she wanted to. “I’m not doing it on purpose. I’m just not considering her feelings.”

Dolls gave an automatic nod but clearly didn’t agree and stepped back out of her office. He had said his piece.

_She left me_ – the statement noiselessly echoed around her office.

But her statement had been hollow. She couldn’t deceive herself.

Nicole had left her - but she’d merely been following orders.

It had been an irrational and selfish order – delivered when Waverly couldn’t even bring herself to look at Nicole.

She had felt she had to force their ending.

But she couldn’t have known that Nicole would act on that order so badly, so literally and so dangerously.

\---

They has come to some type of uneasy truce.

Their relationship remained strictly professional with their interaction alone kept to a bare minimum. Usually they dragged Wynonna or Dolls into their one-on-one meetings.

The weeks passed by without a major blow-up and Waverly found that her resentment towards Nicole was thawing. They made a good, no great, team. Professionally speaking of course.  

The News Night was going from strength to strength. Finally, she had the anchor who could present the show that the show had always been destined to be.

So Waverly wanted to make the truce easy.

So after Friday’s broadcast, Waverly slipped into Nicole’s office, not bothering to knock.

It took her a couple of seconds to realise there was a second person in the office.

Nicole turned to see who had entered her office and adopted the expression of a deer in headlights.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” The unknown woman said, slightly elbowing Nicole in the side.

“This is my friend, Katherine Campbell.” Nicole managed to say.

“We’re a little more than friends. Nicole said I could watch the broadcast from her office. Said it would keep me out of the way.”

“Waverly Earp,” she replied, her head spun in confusion.

“Kathrine, can you give me a sec?”

“Sure,” she replied, looking curiously between the two woman. “I’ll wait outside.”

Nicole waited until the office door closed before addressing Waverly. “We’ve been seeing each other for about a month. She works in the District Attorney’s office.  Financial division. I’m sorry, I should have mentioned something.”

“No, this is what is supposed to happen.” Waverly replied, the fake cheer making both women grimace slightly.

“Did you need something?”

“No, I just wanted to wish you a good weekend.”

The reason felt hollow but Nicole didn’t push and she picked up her bag.

“You too.”

Nicole turned slightly back to Waverly as she reached her office door, as if wanting to say something. Instead she just shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those that commented.
> 
> I’m going to try and stick to weekly updates. 
> 
> And if you haven’t seen the Newsroom, you really should. It’s amazing. 
> 
> And for those that have, favourite scenes? 
> 
> This story will diverge pretty heavily from the show - I hated Nina Howard (obviously) and disliked the Genoa arc.


	4. Fix you

“So how’s the top floor taking this new direction of News Night?”

“Good.” Nedley replied, lying through his teeth.

“Good?” Nicole parroted, looking at Nedley suspiciously. It was unusual for Lucado to be so quiet.

“I’ll let you know when there’s something to worry about.”

The News Chief didn’t see the point in sharing the conversation he’d had with Lucado earlier in the day. News Night 2.0 was only just finding its rhythm and didn’t need the threat of unemployment hanging over its head.

“Where are the human interest stories? Or animal stories? I love those stories.” Lucado had grouched.

“That’s fluff. It’s beneath News Night.”

“News Night is causing me some headaches.”

“Political pressure?”

“Yes. For both BBN and me. I need a sympathetic ear. I won’t have Earp, Haught or whoever is riling up the right wing conservatives continue. I need the support of the Tea Party. It needs to be toned down. Now.”

The underlying threat was clear, but Nedley decided to prod the bear. “Or what?”

“Fire you, fire Earp and move Haught on. She does look good in Kevlar.”

Nedley wasn’t sure how serious Lucado was about the threat to fire him. But Earp and Haught – Lucado would act if it served her agenda.

\---

The week leading up to Christmas was quiet as most of the staff had cleared out to fly to distant states to be with their families. Dolls had opted to stay in New York and had taken to tracking down all the mistletoe misguided co-workers had placed around the office.

It was a battle he felt like he was losing.

“Tax reform.” Wynonna growled as she slapped her notepad down on the desk Dolls was currently standing on.

“What?”

“The President’s tax reform is all I have for C-block.”

“That’s a little…dry.” Dolls replied as he jumped off the desk and threw the mistletoe in the bin.

“I know. Waves asked me to sort out the rundown tonight and all I’ve got is tax reform.”

“North Korea?”

“Middle of B-block.”

“DOJ’s inability to get a prosecution for financial crimes?”

“Bottom of A”

“Revising of the transgender military policy?”

“Final ten minutes.”

“Leaked documents on Russian interference during the election.”

“What? I didn’t hear about that?”

“It’s orange.” Dolls replied as he swung his screen around so Wynonna could see. “Have you asked Haught?”

“No.”

“Wise. Because you’ve buried the lead story.”

“Hey, I don’t need you to do my job.”

“You came over to my desk to whine about your inability to work out a rundown. And trust me on this, if you suggest to Haught that we close with the military ban for the transgender people she will boot you to kingdom come.”

Wynonna started to scribble notes on her notepad. “Lead with the ban and shift everything down a block? Assuming his lordship agrees?”

“I’m not against you calling me his lordship from now on.” Dolls replied, which earnt him a pen to the chest.

“Glad I’ve got that sorted. Waves is here. She’s been off for the last couple of weeks.”

Dolls looked across the bullpen to see Waverly being trailed by a tall, muscular man.

“Who’s the guy?”

“Security.”

“In a skyscraper? Are we expecting bands of marauders to rampage through the bullpen?”

“There’s been threats against the show. When it was Stephanie, they were vague. But with Haught riling up the red necks, they’ve become more specific.”

“So the loonies got stirred up? Why is the security detail on Waverly?”

“I asked the same thing. But you know you have at least a semi-intelligent person if they bother to read the credits and give personnel threats to the executive producer of News Night.”

“And Haught?”

“She has a detail too.”

“I bet she fought against that.” Dolls said with a chuckle.

“Oh she did. But Nedley said either they both had details, or neither of them did. Haught quickly conceded defeat.”

“That man is too clever for his own good.”

Wynonna and Dolls gave each other a knowing look.

\---

It was Christmas Eve before Waverly worked up the courage to pull the present out of her desk drawer. It had been an impulse buy soon after Nicole had reappeared in her life.

For that short period of time, Waverly pretended that she and Nicole weren’t so out of synch that being alone together felt like being punched in the gut – continuously.

“You busy?” Waverly asked.

“Not particularly. Trying to work some festive cheer into my script.”

“How’s that going?”

“I think it’s coming off more cheesy than festive. I seem to really want to put Christmas puns into my script.” Nicole huffed as she leaned back in her chair. “Did you need something?”

“Not particularly. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and give you this.”

Nicole took the offered present. “Waverly, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I saw this and thought of you.” She replied as Nicole opened the present.

“Waves.” Nicole breathed out as she recognised the book – a first edition of Peter Pan. “You remembered.”

Waverly shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. “How could I forget? Little Nicole Haught’s favourite book. The first book your Dad read to you.”

“Which he soon regretted.” Waverly chuckled as she remembered the story Nicole had once told. “The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. Since I didn’t doubt, I figured jumping out of a tree was a completely sensible decision.”

“Your broken arm said otherwise.”  Waverly responded with infectious cheer that made Nicole smile.

“Learnt that the hard way.” Nicole reached into her own desk draw and pulled out her own wrapped present. “Merry Christmas Waverly.”

Waverly took the offered present and also saw a book. 

“I found it at a flea market in Germany before we flew home. I’m not sure if you’re still researching your great-great grandfather, but…” Nicole trailed off with a shrug.

“I do. Thank you Nicole.”

Both women continued to look at each other, for once the silence wasn’t awkward or stilted.

Finally, Nicole gave Waverly one of her lopsided grins and gestured back at the script on her desk, “Well, I’d better get back to it. Wouldn’t want a reaming from my E.P for a half finished script.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Waverly replied as she left the office, hugging the book to her chest. “Try and keep the puns to a minimum.”

\---

As was the tradition, BBN was holding a New Year’s Eve Party. Waverly didn’t feel like celebrating and slipped into her office. Wynonna had dropped off a bottle of champagne before disappearing back into the crowd.

A knock on her door broke the silence as Nicole stuck her head around the door.

“I thought I saw you sneak in. You look nice.”

“Thanks. I didn’t have time to accessorise.”  Waverly replied as she smoothed out the dress. “You do too.”

“Can I ask a favour?”

“Yeah.”

“Can Kathrine have two minutes of your time? There’s a story she wants to pitch.”

Waverly kept her face neutral although her heart hammered in her chest. Talking to her ex’s date was really not how she wanted to spend her New Year’s Eve. “Sure.”

“Ok, let me grab her.”

Nicole disappeared briefly before reappearing with Kathrine.

“What’s this story?”

“As you know, I'm an assistant US attorney for the southern district. I mainly handle financial crimes. The very department you’ve been berating on News Night because we seem incapable of getting a prosecution.”

Waverly nodded her head, wanting Kathrine to get to the pitch as quickly as possible.

“But what you may not know is that the House cut 80% of the DOJ's budget. We don’t have the resources to compete with the money the investment banks can throw at these cases. That’s the reason there hasn’t been any successful prosecutions.”

“Babe, are you saying that the United States of America is getting out-lawyered?” Nicole asked Katherine.

“Don’t call her babe, it makes me crazy.” Fuck - Waverly screamed internally. The words had just slipped out of her mouth and she immediately tried to backtrack. “I didn’t say that, it just came out of my mouth. Just words.”

Nicole heard it but couldn’t fathom Waverly’s comment and tried not to react. Tried not to flinch.

Surely Waverly didn’t – not with Kathrine standing right there.

“Let me talk to Waverly for a second.”

Kathrine shot a bemused look to Nicole. “I’ll mingle. Come find me when you’re done.”

“You can’t have your girlfriends lobbying me to go easier on them,” Waverly rebuked as soon as Kathrine left. “We’ve been covering DOJ’s inability to get a prosecution for weeks.”

“She wasn’t lobbying. She was pitching a story.”

“I have paid staff to do that.”

“Who get stories using inside sources. Like Kathrine. And it’s not girlfriends. It’s one girlfriend.”

“So she’s your girlfriend?” Waverly asked, finding the wall next to Nicole’s head very interesting.

“I guess so.”

“I mean, what do you call her…”

“I call her Kathrine.”

“When you introduce her?”

“Fine, yes. Girlfriend. What do you call your parade of dates?”

“You see anyone with me right now?” Waverly snapped. “But do tell me more about real relationships.”

“I’m not keeping myself in jail anymore,” Nicole hotly replied. “She’s my girlfriend, I want a partner.”

“I’m glad you’re letting yourself out of jail. You owe it to yourself.”

Both women continued to glare at each other before Nicole made an effort at reconciliation.

“I thought you'd want to hear about the defunding of DOJ on financial crimes.”

“I do.”

“Come out to the party?”

“I will.”

Waverly waited for Nicole to leave before allowing her head to fall and her shoulders to slump.

Nicole had a girlfriend – and it wasn’t her.

She was going to need something stronger that champagne to get through the night.

\---

The sensation of falling woke Nicole from her slumber. It was always the same – the blast, followed by the tumbling and then finally falling.

The after-effects of the dream always left her feeling anxious and unsettled.

Sighing slightly, Nicole knew that she wouldn’t be falling asleep again tonight. Grasping her phone, she woke the screen and was momentarily blinded by the brightness. Three – thirty, too early to get dressed.

The stillness of her apartment and the quietness of the city outside her window allowed for her mind to wander down memory lane – which was a hazardous place for her to go.

“ _Nicole, there is something I need to tell you…_ ”

The worst words that Nicole had ever heard.  

Even though it was two years ago now, the memory was imprinted. In the dark, Nicole couldn’t chase away the nauseating feeling it raised.

But there were others now too. Coping with heartbreak by going to a warzone had just overlayed trauma with more trauma. The question of “who’s been hit?” had been asked far too frequently and the faces of those consigned to history lived in her dreams.

It was the noise of her phone ringing that broke Nicole out of the gloom.

“Haught, it’s Nedley. Can you be at the office at 10?”

“Breaking news?”

“I’ll see you at 10,” was the cryptic reply before the News Chief hung up. 

\---

Walking into the newsroom just before 10, Nicole saw that nearly everyone had assembled in the conference room.

Jeremy, who was leading the meeting asked “What's going on? I didn't know you were coming.”

“Nedley called me. Told me to come.”

“Really? I wonder how that happened.”

Seeing what the presentation was about, Nicole questioned “Was I called in on a Saturday for a presentation on Bigfoot?”

“I think you’ll find it interesting.”

“I think you don’t know the meaning of the word.” Nicole grouched.

Jeremy is saved by Nedley entering the conference room. “What are you doing?”

“You asked me to come in.”

“Not for Bigfoot. Although you’re probably going to prefer this to what we need to discuss. Come on.”

Nicole trailed after Nedley and entered Waverly’s office, with the owner of the office already there.

“I called you in for this,” Nedley said as he handed Nicole today’s copy of the New York Daily News. She scanned the headlines before she zeroed in on one that made her pause – Attorney Conspires with BBN. 

Nicole flipped through the pages to find the one with the story.

“I can save you the time. It says we’re playing fast and loose with ethics.” Nedley offered matter-of-factly.

“Fucking hatchet job. There is nothing to the story.” Waverly grumbled.

“The show is the target.” Nedley said as he pointed at the newspaper, “This is a distraction from what we're trying to do. First, it was Earp’s dating merry-go-round.”

“I didn’t hear any complaints from them.” Waverly injected.

“And now you’re dating disaster.  Campbell’s been on the show, what, six times in the last four weeks.”

“Whatever.” Nicole interrupted them both. “She’s on panels. Panels that have also featured a lot of other people…”

“But the other people aren’t running for office,” Nedley cut in. “You did know she was running for office?”

“I knew she was thinking about it. But that is as far as it’s gone.” Nicole admitted.

“She's had meetings with senior staff of the DCCC.”

“What?” Nicole said as Nedley’s words sunk in. She paused as she realised what had happened. “She was just using me for media exposure. She needed to raise her profile for a congressional bid.”

Nedley hesitated before continuing. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re both going to go on BBN Mornings. They’ll ask the questions we need them to ask so we can correct the story.”

“No,” Waverly flatly replied. “This is Nicole. You know how annoyingly ethical she is.”

“Thank you. Wait, _annoying_?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Nedley countered before turning to Nicole. “How did you not know?”

Nicole dropped her head in defeat, “She didn’t tell me. You can't think I would use the show to raise her profile.” She exhaled heavily. “She used me.”

“Don’t assume that. Nobody would risk losing you” Waverly offered quietly. “And we’re not playing this game.” Waverly added as she threw the newspaper in the bin.

“We have to do something because we’re being eaten alive by tabloid insinuations. They’re bound to bring up the history between the two of you. Which is exactly what we don’t need right now.”

“And why’s that?” Waverly asked with a pointed look.

“I had a meeting with Lucado. She’s pissed that you've been riling up the right wing conservatives. The same people she does business with. She thinks you’re driving off a large portion of your audience.”

“How pissed is pissed?”

“Said she’d fire Earp and me. Send you back overseas.”

“How could you not tell us about that meeting?” The hurt was evident in Nicole’s tone.

“I should have.”

“How many times have I asked you if everything was fine?”

“Nicole, I love you like a daughter. But you have feet of clay. I needed to keep you in the chair.”

“Just feeling the love here.” Nicole said laced with sarcasm. “Perhaps we should get back to damage control so we can all keep our jobs?”

“Wait.” Waverly put up her hand, having reached a decision. “I can resign. You can do the same show with a different producer.”

“Going with the cut-and-run strategy are we?”

Waverly glared at Nicole. “Something I learnt from the best.”

“Come on Waverly, just how much do you hate having me here?”

“I don't hate you.” She tried to control her breathing. “We’re not going to argue about this now. You can do the same show without me.” Waverly pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

At that moment, Dolls burst into Waverly’s office with news of a shooting of a Congresswoman in Arizona.

\---

“Heads up everyone.”  Dolls said as he broke up the Bigfoot presentation. “Shooting of a Congresswoman. Wynonna, I’m giving you the phone number of the local affiliate.”

The team worked like a well-oiled machine – each person calling, collating information on the breaking news story. Within 15 minutes, Nicole was ready to report.

“I’m getting a report that she’s dead,” Dolls said in Waverly’s ear as Nicole began her broadcast with the breaking news. “A single source.”

“Get me some official confirmation or I'm not calling it.”

Before Dolls could respond, the door to the Control Room opened and Lucado entered. “Why hasn't she called it yet? The death?”

“I don’t have time for this right now,” Nedley responded for everyone as Waverly continued to update Nicole.

“CNN, MSNBC, and FOX say she's dead.”

“I’m not satisfied.” Waverly replied, not even bothering to turn and face her boss. “They’re all calling it from a single source.”

“I don’t give a shit if your satisfied or not.”

“What the hell is she…” Nedley started as Lucado stormed out of the Control Room.

Lucado entered the studio floor just as Nicole begun to show an old interview given by the Congresswoman.

“What's going on?” Nicole asked as Waverly, Wynonna and Nedley fell through the door behind Lucado.

“MSNBC, Fox, and CNN all say she's dead. Every second you're not current, a guy changes the channel to someone who is. That's the business you're in.”

The threat was clear – report the death or lose the chair.

Nicole looked from to person to person.

She read the look on Waverly’s face. The E.P. of News Night was not convinced and Nicole trusted Waverly.  

“She’s a person. A doctor pronouncers her dead, not the news.” Nicole said firmly as the Control Room counted her back in.

Nicole turned back to face the camera, “What we know so far is that the Congresswoman and 12 others were shot when a gunman opened fire at a local town hall…”

Nicole had picked her side.

A dark look overtook Lucado’s expression as she stalked out, phone glued to her ear.

Returning to the Control Room, Waverly was waylaid by Dolls.

“She’s alive. The Congresswoman.”

“Who’s telling you that?”

“The anaesthesiologist. She’s being prepped for surgery. They all called it wrong.”

“Nicole. She’s alive.” Waverly said into her headset.

A near indiscernible nod was given in acknowledgement.  

“All right, we're learning now that she is being prepped for surgery and we have our BBN affiliate at University Hospital to give us an update.”

The broadcast switched to the interview in Arizona, which gave time for everyone to catch their breaths.

“Waverly, get in here with Nedley right now.” Nicole sounded mad.

Waverly looked around the Control Room concerned. “Is everything…”

“Right now!” Nicole said with manic hand gestures.

By the time they reached the studio floor, Nicole hadn’t calmed down at all. She pointed a finger at Nedley. “You tell Lucado that if she wants me out of this chair, it will take a lot more than some two-bit innuendo in a gossip column.”

“That's exactly what I'll fucking tell her!”

“I'm not fucking around, Chief!”

“Feet of fucking steel!” Nedley chortled, grinning proudly.

Nicole’s eyes moved on to Waverly. “Waves…”

“I'm sorry.” She blurted out.

“It's not your fault.”

“I fucked everything up.”

“It's going to be alright.”

Dolls, feeling the energy in the air reminded them they still had a broadcast to finish, “Back in 30.”

Nicole recovered the sombreness of the broadcast, but not before sending Waverly a lopsided grin.

Nedley gave a double fist pump into the air as he left the studio floor.  

\---

At the end of the broadcast, Waverly returned to her office, her thoughts tumbling end over end at the words she’d said and Nicole’s reply.

“ _It’s going to be alright_.”

She had assumed that Nicole had summoned her back to the studio floor to throw her to the wolves. To accept the offer that Waverly resign.

Instead she’d thrown down the gauntlet to Lucado and pardoned her for her sins.

Waverly had admitted her guilt. Acknowledged that she was responsible for the situation they were in now – the estrangement, exile and even the opportunistic partners all rested at her feet. She was to blame.

But what was going on with Nicole?

She opened the top drawer of her desk, hand stretching all the way to the back, fingers closing around a small jewellery box. The small velvet box that had come into her possession over two years, just before Nicole walked out of her life.


	5. Deja vu

“Baby Girl! Long time, no see.” Drink in hand, Wynonna dropped onto the bar stool next to Waverly. “The intern you left on the assignment desk said you might be here.”

Waverly dragged her eyes up, “I thought you’d be with Doc. Or Dolls.”

“Figured I should spend some time with my favourite sister.”

“I’m your only sister.”

“And also my favourite.”

The comment caused Waverly to break into a small smile.

“Ah, she smiles. That deserves a shot.” Wynonna slammed back the shot in front of her and signalling for another round. “Want one?”

Waverly took a sip of wine and shook her head.

“Bad day? Your anchor seemed off today.”

And the mention of Nicole, Waverly seemed to get smaller. “She’s not my anything.”

“But she could be. The heart eyes being thrown around the office make the Notebook look bleak.”

They were now heading into uncharted territories, Waverly had never discussed the ending of her relationship with Wynonna. “She doesn’t feel that way. She has…had…I don’t know…a…Katherine.”

“She’s been booted. Dolls mentioned it a couple of nights ago.”

“We’re your topic for pillow talk?”

“This shit is better than any TV show.”

“Seriously?” Waverly grouched. “Anyway, she left.”

“She came back.”

“We broke up.”

“Because she was a cheater?” Wynonna pushed.

“No.”

Wynonna looked momentarily stunned. “It was implied that she was. And you never contradicted it.”

“I was the cheater.” Waverly’s voice was laced with agony.

“What? We’re going to need more drinks.” Wynonna knocked back another shot, now drinking enough for both her and Waverly.

“I cheated on the perfect partner with a guy who…well, I don’t know.”

“But she came back and doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge. I’m sure it can be fixed.”

“It can’t. That moment has passed. It passed a long time ago.”

“Well, I’m no expert on relationships…”

“Something I am aware of.”

“I hope that’s just the wine talking.” Wynonna replied. “As I said, I’m no expert, but Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and if there ever was going to be a moment for reconciliation, that could be it. For you, I mean. Just tell her how you feel.”

“Shit.” She brought both hands up to cradle her head.

“Is there something significant about that day?” Wynonna asked, trying to keep the concern out of her voice. “Was that when you started your affair?”

“Not an affair,” Waverly vowed. “I’m not that kind of person.”

“Fling with an ex then. Please tell me it wasn’t Chump?”

“Momentary lapse in judgement. It was just once. And it happened much earlier. When Nicole and I had just started dating.”

“Ok, you’ve lost me. If you slept with Chump at the beginning, how did Haught find out?”

“I told her.” Waverly said in a small voice, immensely regretting that past decision.

“Although commendable, that was a stupid move. And then what? Nicole broke up with you?”

“She forgave me.”

Wynonna nearly fell off her stool in surprise. “Okay, not what I was expecting. How did forgiveness end up with you two on opposite sides of the world?”

“I couldn’t bear for her to see the real me. Every time I looked at her, all I could remember was how badly I’d treated her. She held me up on this pedestal and then well, I…”

“So you ended it?”

“Yes. She refused to discuss it. I could see that in the weeks and months to come she would start to resent me.”

“So how’d she end up on the other side of the world?”

“I told her to go. I didn’t know she would take it so literally.”

Wynonna was stunned – how could two people perfect for each other manage to screw it up so badly. “I’m going to say this out loud, just so I understand. You screwed up, she forgave you, but you sent her away anyway. She ran off to a war but then came back. What am I missing?”

“That’s pretty much it.”

“So why can’t it be fixed?”

\---

“Perry, we’re looking at a feed from Al Jazeera from about six hours ago. Can you describe what you’re seeing?”

“Yes Perry, please describe your hotel room.” Dolls muttered sarcastically from the back of the Control Room. “What is the content of your mini-bar?” 

Waverly turned on him and shot him a scolding look.

“There's gunfire coming from outside our hotel room. But it is a little hard to tell from here if it’s only celebratory gunfire.”

Suddenly, Perry’s image left the screen as he disappeared out of frame.

“Fuck, do we still have Perry?” Dolls asked.

“Take over,” Waverly commanded Nicole.

“If you're just joining us,” Nicole calmly spoke to the camera, “as dawn breaks in Sana’a, a crowd estimated to be in the thousands has gathered in Al-Tahrir Square in the Yemen capital.”

“Get him back on air,” Dolls whispered harshly into the satellite phone, instructing Jeremy to drag Perry back into frame.  It had taken nearly two weeks of persistent coaxing before Waverly relented and allowed Jeremy to travel with Perry Croft as the field producer to cover the uprising in Yemen.

“The exiled government has ordered troops to approach Sana’a and attempt to retake the capital. This has infuriated the crowd loyal to Houthi rebel, which appears to have grown larger and angrier throughout this extraordinary night. We're speaking with BBN’s own Perry Croft…”

“No, currently we’re covering the inside of a hotel room in Yemen,” Dolls muttered, careful to not provoke Waverly any further.  

“He’s back,” Wynonna announced with relief, as Perry once again appeared in frame.  

“Sorry Nicole, the crowd is surging and getting restless. The army has entered the capital and sporadic fighting has broken out.”

“Ask him if he knows anything about the army heading towards the presidential palace,” Waverly prompted Nicole.

“We're getting information about the army heading towards the presidential palace in the al-Sabeen neighbourhood.”

“I don't know anything about that.” Perry replied.

“That’s because all you’ve currently covered is the décor of your hotel room.”

Waverly angrily whirled on Dolls, “Does he look happy about that? I’m as frustrated as you are. But I'm not sending an American journalist into that protest. We’ll work with what we’ve got.”

Doesn’t look that bad to me, Dolls thought but decided not to verbalise his opinion. Waverly would probably boot him out of the Control Room.

\---

“What’s going on?”

Both Waverly and Dolls turned to see Nicole leaning against a doorframe at the end of the broadcast.

Dolls looked at his feet, best to let Waverly handle this considering she was currently scolding him.

“We’re just clarifying what is the definition of professional behaviour which is required for those to work in my Control Room.”

Nicole just arched her eyebrow and gave Waverly an amused look. “Wynonna works in your Control Room and she is the peak of unprofessional behaviour. Yesterday she spent a segment kneeling behind my anchor desk eating a donut.” 

Realising that the teaching moment had passed, Waverly dismissed Dolls who left the Control Room leaving Nicole and Waverly alone.

“He knows what he’s doing.”

“I know. He was just riding Jeremy and Perry harder than necessary.” Waverly exhaled forcefully. “Patience isn’t his forte. He needs to show some understanding.”

“And stop hassling Croft?”

“Yes.”

“You’re right.” Nicole replied, astounding Waverly. “Still, they both might learn something if they listened to Dolls. He does know what he’s talking about.”

“Not you too.” Waverly grouched,

“Come on Waverly, there is only so much footage of a hotel room we can show. Are we any closer to having someone on the ground in Sana’a who actually leaves their room?”

“This was your idea.”

“I didn’t realise that Perry’s understanding of covering a story on the ground had been interpreted as in his room.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Well, Dolls and I could go…”

“No.”

“You didn’t even hear my suggestion.”

“I said no.” The edge in Waverly’s voice made Nicole drop the suggestion.

“Fine, what do you suggest?”

“Local stringer. Someone who can blend in with the crowd.”

“Seems like you’ve got it handled then.”

“Did you want to come to the meeting? We’re covering the activation of the military in Wisconsin.”

Nicole shook her head, “Seems like you’ve got it under control. And I really need to get out of these clothes. See you tomorrow Waverly.”

\---

Nicole’s phone woke her at 4AM. Phone calls at that time are never a good thing so her heart rate spiked as she clumsily answered the phone.

“Haught.” It was Nedley. “Sorry for calling so early but something has happened. Can I came up?”

“Wait, you’re here? At my apartment?” Nicole, rubbing her eyes with her spare hand.

“In your lobby. Just wanted to call first in case you weren’t alone.”

“I’m alone. Come on up.”

Throwing on a pair of jeans but leaving on the old basketball jersey, Nicole turned on some lights as she stumbled through her apartment.

There was a light knock on her door a few minutes later.

“Sorry to wake you.”

“It’s fine. I was going to get up soon anyway. Did you want some coffee?” Nedley nodded in agreement.  “Not that I don’t like early morning visits but what’s this all about?”

“I got a call about an hour ago. Apparently in a moment of sheer stupidity, our men on the ground in Yemen decided to leave their hotel room and venture out into a riot.”

Nicole immediately froze. “What happened?”

“Perry was beaten up with a rock. Broken ribs, broken arm and some facial lacerations. He won’t be on TV for a couple of weeks.”

“And Jeremy?”

“We can’t find him.” Nicole inhaled sharply. “We’re talking to all the right people – the embassy and some military contractors on the ground. But in all this turmoil, no one is going looking for one lost American reporter.”

Nicole felt physically sick – Jeremy was just a kid who looked up to Dolls. He had been insistent that he was ready for an overseas assignment.

The coffee maker beeped to indicate its cycle was complete. Nicole slowly walked into the kitchen with Nedley following behind her.  

“So, I’m here for reinforcements. I have to tell Waverly that the guy she sent overseas is missing.”

“We sent.” Nicole amended. “Waverly didn’t make the decision alone.” 

“You and I both know that, but she won’t see it that way.”

Nicole shakily poured two cups of coffee. “He may have just gotten separated from the group. He knows to make his way back to the hotel. He’s a smart kid.”

“More than likely true. It’s only been a couple of hours. There’s no need to worry – yet. But that won’t stop Waverly.”

“Because she’s Waverly.”

“No you fool, because of you.” Nedley replied as realisation dawned on his face. “No one told you about when you were abducted. You couldn’t have guessed…”

“Guessed what?” Nicole cut in bewildered.

“While you were over there…when you were reported missing…it…well, affected her.”

Nicole let out a disbelieving scoff. “Yeah, I’m sure. Pretty sure my abduction rated lower than a misplaced phone in Waverly Earp’s eyes.”

“When did you turn into such an asshole?”

Nicole shrugged her shoulders but chose not to respond.

“I know it was easier on you to leave rather than be left but she didn’t take…”

“Easier to leave?” Nicole angrily exclaimed, as coffee sloshed out of her mug. “What the fuck? Have you forgotten how this all played out. I was the one cast out. I was the one ordered to leave.”

“She cast herself out. You left and suddenly it was like she had no foundation. She was drowning.” Nedley’s tone softened as he continued. “I know she sent you away. But whatever you’re thinking about how it affected her, you’re wrong.”

Nicole refused to look at Nedley, thoughts churning in her head.

“Look at me Nicole. I swear to you, when reports came down the wire that you were missing, Waverly collapsed in on herself. She wasn’t there anymore. She never stopped caring.”

“I’m sure.” Nicole replied sarcastically but doubt was written all over her face.

Nedley opened his mouth to tell Nicole to pull her head out of her arse but thought better of it.

“But that’s not important right now. I came here to ask you to be there when I tell Waverly. Maybe inject some hope into the conversation. Given your experience in the matter.”

“Ok.” Nicole replied absentmindedly, chewing at her bottom lip.

“You and I are going to brief our producers, then we’ll have a meeting with Lucado and corporate to talk through our options.”

“We’ll find him.” Nicole added, with more confidence than she felt.

\---

“What the hell was Perry thinking?” Lucado raged.

“Probably something along the lines of get the story.” Nedley replied.

“Really? Not, I think I’ll go get beaten with a rock?” Sarcasm laced Lucado’s voice. “It will be weeks before Perry can be put in front of the camera.”

“Which isn’t the problem that we’re dealing with. We’re here to talk about the kid.”

“His name is Jeremy.” It was the first words Waverly had spoken since they’d entered Lucado’s office.

“Right, Jeremy. And he’s one of ours.” Nedley corrected himself.

“Who currently could be residing in a Yemen jail. Or a hole in the ground.” Nicole lightly slapped Wynonna on the back of her head for her less than helpful comments.

“Do we have any assets there? Press? The embassy?” Dolls asked.

“Everyone is holed up. Waiting for it to calm down. They are doing what they can via phone and local contacts.” Nedley said. “Croft said that Chetri had the satellite phone. So he’s probably found a place to hide and is waiting to call.”

“Right.” Dolls added. “Chetri isn’t an idiot.”

“When this is all behind us Randy, you and I are going to have a conversation about why we’re sending our people into conflict zones when local stringers could just as easily…”

Nedley cut her off. “Later Lucado.”

“Wait, you said Jeremy had the satellite phone?”

“Yes.”

“Is it giving a passive ping?” Nicole asked. “Even if it’s off, it will ping a satellite every 30seconds.”

“Assuming it’s not destroyed.” Wynonna unhelpfully added.

Nedley clapped his hands together in excitement. “Now that’s the kind of suggestions that we need.” And then turning to Wynonna, “Any you - please keep your suggestions to yourself.”

“And if it turns out he’s in some dungeon after all?”

At Waverly’s question, everyone turned to face her but no one dared speak.

As Nedley had predicted, the similarities between Nicole and Jeremy were obvious to Waverly. When told the news, she had absorbed it quietly. But inside her mind, all the possible negative endings played one after the other in some sort of tormenting loop. Waverly found that she couldn’t speak and her breathing felt ragged.

It wasn’t until they had reached Lucado’s office that Waverly had begun to think realistically. Jeremy was just missing. Maybe taken – but that was a big maybe. More than likely he had been swept away in the surging crowd, yet to make his way back to the hotel. But the fear that she couldn’t quite shake was the ending where he had been killed. The sense of déjà vu had rocked her to core.

The lingering fear was that the laws of probability would dictate a different outcome this time – lighting wouldn’t strike twice.

From her position at the back of the group, Nicole watched Waverly with concern.  She had folded into herself, her shoulders slumped in defeat. At Nedley had foreseen, she was shouldering all the blame.

Nicole felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out to see the screen. Seeing who was calling, she mouthed that she had to take the call in Nedley’s direction as she exited Lucado’s office. Practically jogging, Nicole punched the elevator button and stepped in.

“Croft, what have you got?”

Listening to the update Perry Croft provided, a plan of attack begun to form in her mind. She exited the elevator, her grim demeanour stopping any interruption from the staffers who had started to arrive for the day.

“Half a million. And you’ve got the information for the transfer? Alright give me the account details.”

Nicole quickly scrawled the number down on her notepad.

Perry hung up and Nicole pondered what he’d told her. A ransom demand was pretty standard for a kidnapped journalist and was a positive sign. Whoever had kidnapped Jeremy had identified that he was worth something.

But the amount of red tape for an American company to pay the ransom was a problem.

Governments and companies were generally reluctant to pay ransoms as it set a dangerous precedent of negotiating with terrorists.

 But Nicole knew a way to bypass that problem.

\---

The tension during the broadcast that night was palpable. Dolls had assigned himself to the studio floor, figuring that the less Waverly saw of him, the less Waverly would be reminded of the missing Jeremy.

Dolls hovered in the background, until Control advised Dolls, “Ninety seconds in.”

A phone beeping on the studio floor broke the quietness.

Almost immediately, Dolls headset cracked for a second time, “60 seconds and Waverly says take the phone off her and get it off the floor.”

Nicole answered the call, eyeing Dolls warily as he approached. Listening briefly, Nicole acknowledged and handed the phone off to Dolls. She cupped the mic on her lapel while looking at Dolls.

“This wasn’t your fault. He wanted to go.”

He took the offered phone and stepped back from the desk.

“Dolls.” Her hand was still over her mic. “Go tell Waverly he’s out.”

Dolls blinked as surprise and relief coursed through his body. “I don’t follow.”

“Word just came through. They’re both on the plane. Perry’s calling Lucado now. So why don’t you let Waverly know?”

The mood was electric by the time News Night had wrapped up for the night. Word of Jeremy being release had started an impromptu celebration in the bullpen. Wynonna, being in a celebratory mood, even supplied the alcohol.

When Nicole entered her office, she saw Waverly sitting at her desk.

“I heard corporate wired the money.”

“Yeah.” Nicole replied.

“Funny, because when I was talking to the Chief, he said that corporate was worried about exposure and wouldn’t allow it. Something about negotiating with terrorists.”

“Clearly wiser heads prevailed.”

Waverly folded her arms across her chest. “Corporate didn’t wire anything.”

“Waves,” Nicole started before being cut off.

“You did this.”

Nicole exhaled heavily and looked down, “He’s one of our guys,” she shrugged, downplaying what she’d done. She didn’t think she needed to explain any further.

“Thank you, Nicole.”

She looked up at that.

Nicole hadn’t seen that Waverly in a long time, the one who looked at her that way.  She watched as Waverly stood up from the desk and moved nearer to her. It threw her off-balance when Waverly wrapped her arms around her, but she quickly bought her arms around her in return.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Waverly.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always - appreciate all the feedback and kudos.


	6. Operation Genoa

“So, there’s a story…” Waverly started as she powered into Nicole’s office.

“Is this the one that you and Jerry Dantana have been holed up with half the team working on?”

“Well yes, but you weren’t supposed to know that.”

“Oh?” Nicole looked at her bemused. “I think I’m going to notice when a fair percentage of the staff are having secret meetings.”

“Well…”

“Two days ago, I approached Wynonna’s desk when she was working on this mystery story. She tipped the entire contents of her desk into the bin to keep me from seeing the paperwork.”

“Right, so we weren’t being as secretive as we thought.”

“You really weren’t being secretive at all. Lucky none of you are spies.” Nicole corrected. “So the story?”

“Right, let me start again. 2015 – Two U.S. soldiers are kidnapped and are being held by militants in Pakistan. The rescue mission supposedly included the use of illegal chemical weapon - sarin. Called Operation Genoa.”

Having just taken a sip of coffee, Nicole managed to spit most of it back out all over her desk.

“No.”

“No what?”

“No - that’s not true.”

“You haven’t even…”

“Do you know what the punishment is for the use of chemical weapons?”

“Yes but…”

“Death or life imprison. And that’s not from some international law that the old U.S of A didn’t ratify. That’s U.S. Federal Law. This is at least triple direct confirmation territory and there is no way you are going to find that _because it didn’t happen_.”

“I have some.”

“Who.”

“A marine.

“Active?”

“Ex-marine. Medical discharge.”

“For?”

“Still trying to work it out. Remembers wearing a chemical suit on the mission. And a white gas cloud.”

“So he remembers a dust cloud. And they probably thought the militants had chemical weapons.”

“Ok. A twitter account that talked about the raid that mysteriously stopped broadcasting.”

“His phone probably died.”

“And a General. Three stars.”

“Who?”

“General Stomtonovich.”

Upon hearing that name, Nicole started to laugh. “Stomtonovich is someone who is critical of the U.S.A destroying its chemical weapons. He adds nothing to the credibility of a story about the use of chemical weapons.”

Feeling defensive as Nicole ripped apart the investigative work the team had done over the last three months Waverly added, “I admit, I don’t have all the facts.”

“Do you have any facts?” There was a hardness in Nicole’s tone. “Because you’ve pretty much walked into my office and accused people I know of a war crime. One that is punishable by death.”

“Some of them. You know some of them.”

“Do you know what the strongest argument is against the moon hoax?”

“No?” Waverly answered bemused, not following the change in topic.

“Conspiracy theories are impossible because of their size and complexity. The moon hoax would have had to involve 400,000 plus people who worked on the Apollo project, the twelve men who walked on the moon and the six other men who orbited the moon in the command module. Someone would have outed them.”

“Ok, but…” 

“Wait, let me finish.” Nicole cut in, holding up her hand. “Do you know how many people would have been involved in organising a raid to free those captured soldiers?”

Waverly shook her head.

“As someone who has been in the place of those captured soldiers I can confirm that it is dozens. Pilots, soldiers, maintenance personnel, air traffic controllers, medics, people from the armoury and the list goes on and on. People who would have no reason to keep a story like that quiet. Who even if they hadn’t wanted to sell the story, would have told their husbands, wives, mothers or fathers about this strange raid. It’s impossible to keep quiet.” 

“But someone did!”

“The only direct confirmation you have in one ex-marine who remembers wearing a chem suit and a dust cloud. You have no chemical weapons. All you have is a successful raid to free two abducted American soldiers.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Deadly.”

With her hands on her hips, Waverly glared at Nicole sitting at her desk.  

“Unless you get triple direct confirmation, the story is dead.” Nicole added, as she turned back to her script for the night.

This conversation was over.

 ---

**Two unnamed journalists employed by CNN have disappeared and are presumed abducted near a rebel held checkpoint in Talkalakh District, Syria. While the journalists have not been officially identified, Reporters without Boarders has called for the immediate release of the hostages. CNN has enacted a news blackout regarding the kidnapped journalists however an internal bulletin issued to the CNN Board confirmed the abduction and instructed for no comment to be issued.**

Be calm.

Be cool.

Nicole kept thinking that the issue would be resolved shortly. The rebel leader would arrive and organise their release as the groups against the Syrian Government were favourable to the presence of Western media.

A rancid hood had been placed over her head and her hands had been forcibly zip-tied in front of her. They had been transported away from the checkpoint in the back of a truck. After about 30 minutes, they had stopped briefly before being moved to a second truck. Nicole had bruised shins from where she’d walked into the truck bench and she’d earnt a gun barrel in her side for asking where Nazir was. Nicole noted that the men never touched her – using their guns to direct her.

Upon arrival at a place Nicole couldn’t see she had been pushed onto a cold cement floor with a door slammed shut behind her.  

There were other voice on the opposite side of the door – angry, challenging voices that didn’t exactly build Nicole’s confidence. She could hear heavy breathing next to here and assumed it was Nazir but didn’t dare talk in case it further enraged their captors.

Stay patient, stay patient, stay patient – Nicole muttered over and over in her mind.

Nicole was confident that this was all just a mix-up caused by some over-enthusiastic, low-level punks who had shown the wrong kind of initiative in kidnapping them. Once someone of a suitable level of authority appeared, this wrong would be righted.

She refused to even contemplate the alternative possibilities that lingered of the edge of her conscious – Richard Engle held for 5 days, Anhar Kochneva – 5 months, James Foley – well, it was better not to go there. The Centurion training had stressed that focussing on the present was required to prevent an imaginative mind conjuring images of torture - or worse. So Nicole tried to stay positive and stay busy.

By trying to pick her fantasy basketball team for the upcoming NBA season. But her thoughts drifted to her and…

She tried to flex her hands to improve her circulation as the pins and needles were starting to become painful. The ties were too tight but Nicole decided to hold her tongue as she didn’t want to provoke her hosts. She was also starting to feel fatigue creep into her bones as she came down from the adrenaline high and she began to doze on the cold floor.

\---

Nicole was abruptly awoken by the sound of the door swinging open and crashing into the wall. Loud voices echoed through the room as Nicole tried to shake the grogginess away.

Prodded with something, Nicole was forced to stand. The cable ties were roughly cut and it was signalled by sharp nudges are her pockets that they were to be emptied. Turning out her pockets, she felt herself drop her passport, credentials, money clip, phone and a USB stick to the floor.

Once her captors were satisfied that her pockets were empty, a new set of cable ties were tied to her hands. The hood was then roughly removed that blinded Nicole momentarily at the sudden brightness.

One of the men in the room held up a camera. And Nicole started to suspect they were no longer in rebel held territory.

A panicky Nizar turned to face Nicole. “He says to state your name and that your government must leave.”

Nicole felt relief course through her body – the request indicated that she was considered a hostage with propaganda or financial value. It also implied that footage of her execution wasn’t about to appear on YouTube. She complied with their request although the words felt clumsy coming out of her dry mouth.

Once the task was complete, the hood was pulled back on and Nicole was plunged back into darkness. Conversation continued but Nicole couldn’t understand what was being said.

“No speaking.” Obviously that was directed at her.

As the door slammed shut and the footsteps receded, Nicole tried to comprehend what had just happened. Even if Nicole had originally been taken by Syrian Rebels who interacted with Western media – she was pretty sure she’d been handed off to another group. She hadn’t recognised any of the men in the room from those at the checkpoint.

But there was now proof of life. Once CNN received the video, negotiations could begin.

She was praying that the recession was waning so CNN wasn’t in a cost-cutting mode. She really didn’t want to be bargained over. She also didn’t want the proof of life to escalate to loss of extremities if CNN dug their heels in.

Sometime later, they were moved to a second location. Again, Nicole was prodded until she managed to haul herself into the back of the truck. She attempted to track the travelling distance but there was only so many Mississippi’s she could mutter before it all got jumbled in her mind. And with the hood still firmly over her head, she couldn’t discern direction anyway.

Upon arriving at the new place, there were a number of new voices and her original captors seemed to not be in change. Nicole was pushed along and stumbled awkwardly up a flight of stairs. He heard the clinking of chains and felt something cool wrap around one of ankle. The zip-tie around her hands was roughly cut, causing the inside of her wrist to begin to bleed from where the knife had nicked her. It was only then that the hood was unceremoniously removed and Nicole could see that she was now chained to a wall in a windowless, dank room.

Looking around the room she could see that she was alone – Nizar was nowhere in sight. She feverously hoped he was been housed somewhere nearby. Her captors also didn’t seem to particularly care about her wellbeing – she had had no food or water since being captured and the room was empty of those things. The only ‘luxury’ was a ratty blanket balled up in the corner of the room. Fatigued, Nicole dropped down onto her haunches and closed her eyes.

\---

Wynonna had pretty much carried Waverly home.

Waverly had not uttered a word since the news had come through the back channels of the abduction. Nedley had attempted to downplay the report in proposing far-fetched scenarios of mistaken identity or reporting from a different location.  

It was clear that Nedley was assuming the worst.

Waverly had thrown up in his garbage can.

That made it equally clear that Waverly was ill-prepared for the worst.

Wynonna lingered at her bedside, every so often asking "How ya doing, Baby Girl?"

Waverly doesn’t have the strength to reply, grasping at her phone in desperation. She was waiting for an email alert from one N. Haught. They weren’t as frequent as they’d once been but Nicole would email an old personnel email account every couple of days. Waverly never read the emails and wasn’t going to start now.

But an alert meant she was ok. An alert meant she was alive.

Finally, Wynonna gave Waverly some privacy as she left the bedroom, closing the door gently behind her. Waverly could still hear her pottering around in the kitchen – no doubt scourging for food.

In the quietness of the bedroom with the dull hum of traffic outside, her mistakes were plain to see. Falling for his lines, allowing for the seduction to sway her which momentarily obscured the consequences. Confessing to Nicole, which she had convinced herself was the honourable thing to do had also turned out to be the most painful thing she had even done. She had expected the confession to be cleansing.  

It hadn’t and had only resulted in another wave of despair.

And the waves just kept crashing down – crushing her under their weight.  

\---

Five nights later, a bright flash awoke Nicole from her restless slumber. The concussion wave and loud bang that followed stirred up the sand on the floor. Disorientated, an acrid smoke drifted into her room causing her to dry heave as she was uncertain if this event would better her situation.

Best to lay low.

Not that she could do much – she was still chained to a wall.

From outside came the muffled noise of gunfire and intermittent shouting. She couldn’t distinguish what was being said as her knowledge of Arabic was nearing non-existent.

Suddenly the darkness of her cell was broken by a bright light that momentarily blinded her. Nicole squinted in the direction of the person moving towards her.

“Who are you?” Was asked in English causing relief to course through her body.

“Nicole Haught,” she coughed out.

“The journalist?”

Nicole just nodded in confirmation, relief paralysing her voice.

**Today, United States special operations forces (SOP) lead unit carried out a raid at an ISIS safe house near Deir al-Zour in Syria, where it had been suspected western hostages were being held. The coalition force killed four terrorists in the assault. They located and rescued an unidentified coalition soldier who had been captured in a mission three weeks ago. In addition, CNN foreign correspondent Nicole Haught who had been abducted five days earlier was also freed. A Syrian journalist attached to the CNN presence in Syria was fatally wounded in the raid and died en-route to the SOP base.**

An email alert came through on Waverly’s phone two days later.

\---

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Appreciate the feedback I've been getting. 
> 
> Keeps me motivated particularly since the next two chapters are proving difficult.


	7. Grab your armour

Since Valentine’s Day, Waverly felt like something had changed for the better in her and Nicole’s relationship. To Waverly, it felt like they had taken a big step back from the edge of the cliff – the Operation Genoa issue notwithstanding, everything was looking up.

Wynonna had even started giving Waverly grief about the sheer number of heart eyes being thrown around the office.

And professionally, there was talk that BBN would be offered one of the Republican primary debates for the upcoming presidential election. The caveat for getting the debate was the need to maintain New Night’s current audience level.

Sadly, that had proved difficult to due to Waverly’s refusal to report a court case that had been termed the ‘Social media trial of a Century.’

The court case had it all – the tragic death of a small child, the mother charged with her murder and with a heavy dose of sleazy and innuendo added for good measure.

As a result, News Night’s audience had halved in two days.  

With Lucado breathing down their backs – it was mandated that News Night lead with what Waverly termed ‘gutter’ reporting.

Wanting the Republican Primary debate, Nicole and Nedley had relented to Lucado’s demands with barely a whimper, much to Waverly’s infuriation.

But when upstairs suggested that a newspaper article on the new direction of News Night would give the show some positive exposure, Waverly thought that was an excellent idea.

When she found out that the Champ Hardy had been asked to write the story her support had wavered.

And then she found out Nicole had selected Hardy to write the story.

Waverly was fuming.

Her hands had balled up into fists as she’d stalked into Nicole’s office.

To find it occupied by both of her exes.

“Waverly, it’s good to see you.”

Champ went for the hug but was stopped by Waverly’s outstretched hand into his chest.

Coughing slightly to draw their attention, Nicole broke in, “Now that Waverly is here we can start. Do you want to grab a seat?”

Waverly muttered a curse under her breath as she took a seat under protest.

“Hardy, do you want to pitch?”

Waverly zoned out to seethe at Nicole and hoped that her glare was communicating her displeasure at this decision. 

She barely paid any attention to what Champ was saying until he asked, “What kind of access are we talking about?”

“Here's the deal. You spend a few days here, talk to whoever you want, but it's all off the record.”

“What good is that to me?”

“If I like how it feels, then we go ahead. But I still get to tell you what can retroactively go on the record from the tryout period.”

“You're asking me to audition?”

“Yeah.” There was a hint of smugness in Nicole’s tone.

“Why would I do that?”

“I can think of some reasons. Three years ago, you were on the masthead at Newsweek, turning out ten cover stories a year and spending Sunday mornings on TV. Today you have a _blog_.”

There was a large amount of scorn in Nicole’s pronunciation of the word blog.  

“Your fucking disdain for the internet is matched only by your fucking disdain for the internet.”

“You took a buyout when Newsweek was sold and rolled the money into a start-up, thinking you'd be the next Huffington Post. How'd it work out?”

“We filed for bankruptcy.” Champ reluctantly admitted.

“So, you okay with the audition?” Nicole asked with a raised eyebrow.

Champ nodded his head as he can’t quite verbally agree to the very one-sided deal. “And what about this history?” Champ asked, gesturing between Nicole and Waverly.

“I imagine you will need to talk to the E.P of News Night for a story about News Night.” Nicole glibly answered.

“That’s not the history I'm talking about and you already knew that, so please stop screwing around.”

“One parenthetical sentence in the second paragraph.” Nicole amended as she studious avoided Waverly’s deepening scowl.

“Which is?”

“Waverly Earp and I enjoy a productive, professional relationship. Reword it if you must.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep,” Nicole said with a pop in the ‘p’, her charade of calm indifference holding strong. “Talk to Dolls to begin organising meetings with the staff.”

Champ stood up, realising he was being dismissed. He nodded his head at Nicole and added, “It was good to see you again Waverly.”

Waverly waited until Nicole’s office door had closed behind Champ before speaking to Nicole.

“Why him?” She spat.

“Because we need the positive coverage.”

“That’s not…”

“And I own him now. He needs a cover story. If he writes a negative story, he'll get slammed with the whole soap opera of our history.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“It’s not a secret that you dated him before me. And at the same time as it turns out.”  Nicole added, a hard edge in her tone, daring Waverly to counter that statement.

Waverly just glared at Nicole before finally muttering “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

She was met with stony silence from Nicole.

“Fuck you.”

She threw over her shoulder at Nicole as she stormed out of the office.

\---

Waverly felt everyone’s eyes on her for the rest of the day. The staff had picked up on the escalated tension between her and Nicole and were doing their best to not poke the bear.

Wynonna had no such concerns.

“Can I draw a moustache on the graphics to make it look she has one?” Wynonna asked, her feet up on Waverly’s desk.

“No.”

“What about a little hat?”

“No, Wynonna. We aren’t doing anything. Leave the graphics as they are.”

“But why not? The whole thing is so messed up. So strange and hard to explain. Like your relationship with Chump in the first place.”

“Please, Wynonna.” Waverly pleaded. “Don’t rile her up.”

Seeing the pained expression on her sister’s face, Wynonna relented.

“I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I.” Waverly answered in a small voice.

“I know you aren’t going to like this advice…”

“Then maybe don’t offer it?”

“There’s never going to be a perfect moment.”

“What?”

“To tell her how you feel.”

“That may be true, but I doubt that the moment to tell her is now. When she bought that man I cheated on her with into our workplace. What is essentially our home.”

Wynonna looked across the desk at her defeated sister, “I’m sorry Baby Girl.”

\---

Champ finally tracked down Waverly for the ‘off the record interview’ after the show at the bar down the street.

“If I didn’t know you any better, I’d think you were avoiding me.” Champ grouched light-heartedly as he slid onto the bar stool next to her.

“I am avoiding you.” Waverly drily replied.

“Why?” Champ asked, seemingly confused at his frosty reception from Waverly.

“This is like living in the twilight zone.”

“You don’t need to act like I have the plague.”

“Why are you here?” Waverly hissed.

With a shrug of his shoulders, Champ replied. “Haught’s right. I need a cover.”

Waverly glowered back at him, looking for signs of deceit. But she found none. Signalling for another drink, an uncomfortable silence developed between them that was eventually broken by Champ.

“Talk to me about News Night 2.0.”

“If you ask Nicole, we’re up to News Night 84.0.”

Champ just waited expectantly, pen at the ready.

Waverly grumbled slightly before launching into an elucidation of what made News Night stand out. How they had stepped away from sensationalising stories for ratings and didn’t report the sleaze.

Champ scribbled some notes before stating, “Yet you are currently doing the exact opposite of what you just said. You’re chasing ratings. The court case is tabloid news. Gutter press.”

“For a reason. The debate. Without an audience we don’t get the debate.” Waverly retorted.

“Seems Haught had no issues chasing the audience. She wants to popular so she’s quite happy to not bother anyone. She is a lightweight pretending to be a heavyweight.”

“For gods sake, what’s your issue with her?”

Champ changed tact. “Your team talked a lot about the fractured and tumultuous relationship between the E.P and anchor.”

“My team needs to learn to keep their mouths shut.”

“Nicole didn’t cheat on you.” Champ didn’t ask it as a question.

Waverly opened her eyes in shock, she hadn’t expected Champ to say that.

Champ shrugged his shoulders. “I did some research. I am a reporter after all. The timeline just didn’t work. You and she must have been together when…”

“You drunk dialled me at midnight and said, "Just come on over and crawl into bed” as a pick-up line.”

“It worked didn’t it.” Champ replied, a hint of ire in his tone. “I thought we were getting back together.”

“Getting back together? You’ve got to be joking.”

“You cheated on me with Nicole.”

No, let’s get one thing clear - I cheated on Nicole with you.” Waverly responded, glaring at Champ to ensure he understood. “I work 30 feet from the life I could have had if I hadn’t been so stupid.”

“Yet she took the fall publicly? That she’s the villain.”

“Going to write that in your article? I’m sure Nicole would love that. To be painted as the saint.”

“Nope.” Champ replied. “I didn’t come to air your or her dirty laundry. As much as I would enjoy that.”

“Then why did you come?”

“We’ve been over this Waverly. I need a cover.” Champ responded, a hint of exasperation leaking into his tone.

“Oh.”

“You still love her.” His inflection showed that again, this wasn’t a question.

Waverly didn’t bother to answer but was a little annoyed that Champ seemed to read the situation so clearly. He seemed so aware at how messed up her relationship with Nicole had become.

“She bought me here to punish you?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I thought we were better.” Waverly dejectedly replied, hating that she was now talking about her failed love life with her ex-boyfriend.

“And yet your taking all this resentment on me. She picked me for the story. Doesn’t that pretty much sum up where your relationship is at the moment?”

At Champ’s words, Waverly deflated slightly.

“I’m probably the last person you want to hear this from but maybe you should tell her how you feel.”

“She knows.”

“Does she? Maybe you’ve changed – but I could never tell what you were thinking. You’re pride and need to be in control were suffocating. Probably still are.”

Waverly just looked at Champ as his words cut deep. Could Nicole really not know? “Don’t take it personally, but I don’t want to talk about my relationship with Nicole with you.”

Throwing back his drink, Champ stood up. “Sometimes, you’re your own worst enemy.”

\---

With the rundown in disarray due to the need to cover the macabre court case, Waverly was rattled and Champ hovering in the bullpen made her foul mood so much worse.

“Please don’t talk about my personal life.” Waverly snapped at Champ, who again had bought up her relationship with Nicole.

“Apparently I’m a key player in it.”

“No, you’re not. Once upon a time you were. Now you’re just a footnote.”

“She’s not coming back.”

“You…I don’t know that yet.”

“Seriously? After all these years? In Castaway, Helen Hunt got remarried in less time than this. I never would have gone with the court case. I don't care how much of my audience I was losing. And she’ll cave on the debate.”

“Are you sure about that?” Waverly responded, hands on hips.

“I’m absolutely sure about that.”

“You’re wrong. Nicole is annoyingly ethical. She believes in the greater good. She believes in people.”

Before Champ could rebut Waverly’s declaration, Nicole appeared in the bullpen.

Deciding she’d had enough dealing with the drivel spewing from Champ’s mouth, she stomped over to Nicole.

“I think maybe considering everything that's gone on here this week, you should reconsider having Champ write the article.”

“Can you handle him being here?”

“I can handle him being here. But I think…”

“I agreed to have him in here to punish you.” Nicole cut in.

“I know.” Waverly replied, arms folded across her chest, slightly surprised at Nicole’s admission.

“I think I may have also brought him in here so you could see a side-by-side comparison.”

“You're an idiot.”

“I know.” Nicole agreed sheepishly. “I think Wynonna wants to punch me in the face.”

“She does. But she knows you need to be on TV and black eyes are pretty hard to cover up.”

“Oh…”

“I have cooperated with and been the engine behind an instant dismantling of everything we've built and everything we stand for.”

“I know, I know.” Nicole replied.

“And I've done it all while Champ's been standing over my shoulder because _you put him there_.”

“I know. Remember our first show. When we threw out the rundown. Lead with the oil spill.”

“Yeah.”

“Throw out the rundown.”

“Wait. No. We still the numbers. For the debate.”

“Screw the debate. If we get it, we get it.” Nicole replied with a nonchalant shrug. “After all, I’m annoyingly ethical.”

“You heard that?”

Nicole shrugged, before calling out to the entire bullpen. “We’re throwing out the rundown and leading with the debt ceiling.”

The announcement was met with rapturous applause.  

\---

Sticking with the tried and true method of avoidance, Nicole and Waverly didn’t talk about Champ’s visit and what it meant for them.

Instead, they settled back into their routine and the weeks passed.

During the final ad break for the show one Thursday night, Waverly exited the Control Room and entered the studio floor and leaned against Nicole’s desk.

Tonight’s show had just become a shambles.

“Nicole, what just happened?” she asked in a firm tone.

She didn’t even look up from her notes. “Did something happen?’ Nicole replied, the deception obvious to both of them.

“Nicole.” It came out as an exasperate sign. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m fine,” came the automatic response before Nicole amended. “Just a little insomnia. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“How much is not much?”

“None.”

“You’re blaming this on being tired?”

At the sharp edge in Waverly’s tone, Nicole finally dragged her eyes up from the notes on the desk. “I’m not blaming anything on anything. And that interview wasn’t the unmitigated disaster you are claiming.”

“Nicole…”

Normally, Waverly seemed about as threatening as a wet kitten but right now, Nicole wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.

“There were discrepancies in his support for the candidate. I was revealing those for the audience – which is what you wanted for News Night 2.0. And he volunteered to come on the show. He must have known these questions would have been asked. So please keep the scolding…”

“Scolding? You didn’t follow the directions I gave. You were relentless. You came across as…”

“As a what?” Nicole asked, daring Waverly to finish the sentence.

“A bully.”

“Come on!”

“You beat him up because you could. You delighted in humiliating him on national television. You ambushed him.” Waverly exhaled sharply in frustration. “We’re 30 seconds back. Try to follow the instructions for the rest of the show.”

Waverly gave Nicole one final pointed look before heading back to Control. Cursing under her breath, Nicole watched Waverly leave the floor.

“I heard that.” Came the comment through her headset.

Shifting slightly as her desk, in a childish act, Nicole turned her feedback unit off in frustration.

Immediately after the show, Dolls stepped briefly into the Control Room where the crew was shutting down the equipment for the night.

“Nicole wants the lights on the floor left on. She’s working on the interview notes for tomorrow.”

Hearing acceptance in the request, Dolls headed out.

Waverly stayed behind in the Control Room, checking over some of the graphics that had been prepared for the interview tomorrow. And soon she found herself alone in Control.

After five minutes of making notes on small alterations to the graphics, Waverly leaned back in her chair and glanced up at the screen in the Control Room and saw the Nicole was still at her desk. She was intently studying her cards, scrawling annotations where required.

She was alone.

It was if all the stars had aligned.

Waverly put her headset back on and activated her mic.

“Nicole? I’m sorry to, well you don’t have to stay but well we’re alone. Everyone else has gone. And I wanted to say something.” Waverly huffed slightly as her inability to get to the point. “From this rambling I guess you can guess that this isn’t work related.”

On the screen Waverly was looking at, Nicole had stopped writing and was staring in the direction of the Control Room. Feeling scrutinised by Nicole’s gaze through the screen, she turned to stare down at the panel, spinning a pen aimlessly through her fingers.

“I’ve been trying to work up the courage to talk to you about…well…our past. I don’t expect you to say anything. In fact, this might work better if you just listened. Please.”

“I know you must think it is easier to be cold. To not care. But it’s been _so hard_.”

“I know you’ve never truly understood why I behaved as I did – both in the beginning and at the end. When he and I broke up, I was still hung up on him. And in the beginning, you and I were just dating. I didn’t let myself think it was serious. And when he called…well you know…”

Waverly looked up to see Nicole staring intently so she continued.

“And then I fell in love with you and I never saw him again.” Waverly breathed in sharply, as she tried to gather her thoughts.

“Telling you. I thought that was what I supposed to do. I can almost hear you asking if I told you because I wanted to break up. But it wasn’t like that.”

“I acted rashly. It was childish and I just lashed out in pain. You were perfect, so perfect and I felt so undeserving of everything you offered.”

“I hate that I hurt you. Hate that I destroyed us. I hate that I so recklessly ruined something so precious between us for the sake of…pride and then to clear my conscious.”

Waverly huffed again but it turned into a slight sob. “But that didn’t work. It was never going to work. And all it did was hurt you even more. I just couldn’t seem to stop hurting you.”

Looking up momentarily to view the screen, Waverly saw that Nicole was now looking down at her desk.

“Nicole, I hate the way you still look at me – sadness mixed with something else. Love? Maybe. And the one thing I still feel so unworthy of – your forgiveness. And I hate looking at you, because it’s like a mirror. It reminds me what a horrible person I was to cause you such pain. Such unforgiveable hurt. That’s why I sent you away. Looking at you, seeing you, I was drowning. Your clemency was my sentence.” 

“For those years, I floundered in the pain and guilt. But please know that there wasn’t a moment when I didn’t stop thinking…. There was moments when the despair outweighed the guilt and the sense of responsibility to…when Randy told me you…” She swallowed, forcing down the anguish that again threatened to overwhelm her.

“You only went _there_ because I sent you away. Nicole, I am so very sorry. This is your home and you deserved so much better. Better than what I’ve offered since you’ve been back.”

“I did everything wrong. You did everything right. You needed to hear that and I needed to say that. I should have the courage to say this to you in person but you and I both know I’m not good at these types of things. I am a coward.”

Waverly wiped away a tear that escaped the corner of her eye.

“Also, we still need to work together. The awkwardness if you don’t, not that I would blame you if you didn’t any more. But Nicole, I need you to know, I never stopped…”

At the approaching declaration, Waverly turned back to face the screen in the Control Room.

To look at Nicole.

But under the bright studio lights, Nicole’s desk was unoccupied.

Empty.

\---

“Is this seat taken?”

Waverly turned to see Nicole leaning against the glass wall of the conference room, just past the doorway.

Waverly looked at the numerous empty chairs in the conference room. She forced a weak smile. “If you need the room, I can just…”

“Stay.” Nicole replied with a warm smile. “I don’t mean to chase you off.”

Waverly started to clean up her paperwork anyway, hating the way her heart clenched at seeing Nicole.

“Waverly.” Nicole reached towards her but stopped before touching her. “I feel like I haven’t seen you for a couple of weeks now. Which is odd considering our offices are less than twenty feet from each other.”

Waverly stood up and finally turned to face Nicole. “You made it clear you aren’t interested in an explanation.” She folded her arms across her chest defensively, building her walls up even higher. “You’re obviously not interested in anything I have to say.”

“Have I missed something?” Nicole asked confused.

Waverly just glared. She wasn’t going to relive that version of humiliation.

“We haven’t talked in weeks and you’ve barely been giving me any instructions on air either. And what you do provide is monosyllabic. I don’t know what you think has been made clear. But it’s not to me.”

“I’m sure.” Waverly snapped sarcastically.

A look of hurt flittered across Nicole’s face. “We’re so out of whack, Waves. I hate it but I can’t figure out how to fix it.”

Before Waverly could respond, the conference door opened and Nedley stepped into the room.

“Don’t you two realise you have perfectly good offices to work in?” Both women opened their mouths to reply Nedley continued. “Something has come up that we need to discuss in someone’s office. Now.”

Hearing the seriousness in the New Chief’s tone, the small group headed to Nicole’s office.

“Ok, there’s a story…” 

“I’m not seeing Kathrine anymore.” Nicole cut in, looking at Waverly.

“I know that. This one isn’t about your dating misadventure.” Nedley turned to Waverly. “But I suspect it’s tied to yours.”

“But I’m not seeing anyone either.”

“But you did. At least for a short period of time you were seeing one Nina Howard.”

“Nina Howard?” Nicole questioned. “The gossip columnist?”

“That’s the one.” Distaste leaked into Nedley’s tone.

Nicole turned to face Waverly, a look of hurt on her face. “You’re dating Nina Howard?”

“Not dating. I went on a couple of dates with her when I was…” Waverly tapered off, not sure how to explain the parade of people she had dated months previous.

“Dating everyone in the Tri-State area?”  

“I can date anyone I want.”

“But her? She was the one who targeted me, well us, the last time we were in those trashy magazines. She made me into the villain. A cheater.” The accusation was heavy in the statement.

“She’s changed.” Came the weak response. “What’s the story?”

“She’s managed to locate or was handed a story about Nicole’s time in Syria.”

“My time in Syria…oh…” Nicole blanched slightly.

“I don’t understand?” Waverly said as she looked from Nicole to Nedley.

“The story asserts that Haught made rash and unpredictable decisions. It claims that she took on suicide missions and put her crew in danger while chasing stories.”

“That’s slander.”  Waverly hotly replied. “Nicole would never do something like that.”

“What does it cover?” Nicole asked quietly.

“The bombing where Dolls got shot. And…”

“Nizar.” Nicole finished. Waverly could see that she was trembling with anger.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Nedley softly said.

“I know.” Nicole added with no real conviction. “Did you know that the NBC crew went through the same checkpoint later that afternoon?”

“We’re trying to get it buried. Swap something with TMI for the story.”

“Is this Lucado’s doing?” Waverly asked, feeling like she’s missing important parts of the conversation. “She owns TMI.”

“Maybe. But it doesn’t matter. The story is in their hands so we need to hurt locker this thing.”

“Of course it matters.” Nicole snapped. “Her girlfriend didn’t just happen to stumble across some scant facts and manage to make a gigantic leap into essentially accusing me of getting someone killed. This is a targeted attack at me.”

“At us. News Night.” Waverly amended. “How could Lucado possibly explain firing the second most watched anchor on cable?”

“By creating what we call a context. Her firing would be viewed as an honourable step by a corporation willing to sacrifice ratings for integrity. Straight out of the Brian Williams playbook. He never survived the misrepresentation of the helicopter incident in Iraq.”

“And me?” Waverly asked. “I’m the Executive Producer. I decide what goes on the air.”

“You have a non-compete clause in your contract. You can’t produce for three years should you voluntarily resign. Lucado knows that.” Nedley replied.

“You'd never allow a non-compete clause in your contract.” Nicole turned to Waverly. “Producing is everything to you.”

“It got added.” Waverly replied evasively.

“When?” Nicole’s voice took on an icy tone. “When Waverly?”

“When I renegotiated my contract.” 

“To be able to fire me at the end of each week?”

“Yeah.”

“God, how much do you hate me?” Nicole lashed out.

“I don’t hate you.”

“You allowed a non-compete clause in your contract? Three years? You were willing to stay out of any control room for three years? When was the last time an E.P stayed off TV for three years and ever came back? Have revenge sex with every woman, man, or whoever. I don’t care. But keep my past out of it.”

The conversation degraded into an argument with everyone in the bullpen able to overhear the shouting through the glass walls.

“Some of us have moved on.” Waverly snapped, lying through her teeth.

“Something you have now made abundantly clear.”

“I don’t have to justify anything to you. _You left_!”

Waverly saw that Nicole physically flinched at the accusation and a feeling of guilt ripped through her.

“Maybe I should again? You can do the same show with a different anchor.”

“Maye that’s a conservation we should have.”

The threat hung heavily in the air as Nedley looked between the two women, wondering how they both managed to get it so very wrong.

\---

It shouldn’t have been possible – but Waverly and Nicole managed to have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

Wynonna and Dolls acted as their carrier pigeons.

And in the days since the Nina revelation, time had done nothing to thaw their relationship.

Waverly felt ungrounded and had been staring at the rundown for the last thirty minutes without making any progress.

Hearing a knock on her open office door, Waverly looked up to see Nicole standing there, not bothering to really look at her.

“So there’s an opportunity overseas for me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologises that this chapter may appear a little disjointed. It was originally two chapters but worked even worse that way.
> 
> Thanks for all the feedback.


	8. Flee

“So she went? Both of them?”

Waverly shifted around in her seat, trying to get comfortable as she heard the slight accusation in Doc’s tone. “Well, it was Nicole who was specifically invited. Wynonna wanted the foreign experience it. So yeah, they both went.”

“Is that allowed?”

Waverly gave a dry snort, “Good luck trying to get Nicole to not do something. And Wynonna…I couldn’t tell her no.”

“But Nicole’s the anchor of one of the most popular cable news shows. Isn’t it a bit unusual to have the anchor roaming around overseas?”

“She and the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq are apparently old friends,” Waverly tried to explain but it came out defensive. “So when the opportunity came up for a journalist to travel with the United Nations fact finding mission, she was the first to be asked.” 

“But someone else could have gone?” Doc prodded.

“She’s an expert on the war and it’s a coup for BBN. She spent twenty-four months in the region as a foreign correspondent with CNN. She knows how to handle herself in the region. The last time we sent green people out, well you know that it didn’t end well.”

“Which wasn’t yours or her fault.”

And that was the truth – it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Jeremy’s foray into the underbelly of the Yemen revolution hadn’t been any one person’s fault.

“Nicole feels like it was hers,” she said, knowing she’s repeating a conversation she’d had with Doc before. “Besides, it’s not my place to tell her no.”

“But she works for you.”

“That tends to be a sore point between us,” Waverly drily replied.

“Her working for you? I thought you two were….better?” Waverly knew that everyone in the bullpen had heard their explosive argument a couple of weeks ago. Since then, everything had been off kilter. The sense of déjà vu was strong.

“Nicole wanted to go back and it’s only a couple of weeks. The interview she did last night with the leader of the Ahrar al-Sham. No one else could do that, she’s unbelievably…”

“Reckless?”

“Good. But maybe a little of that too.” She knew that Doc had noticed her haggard appearance and her need to be in constant contact with her sister. She also knew Wynonna found her ‘mothering’ annoying but had managed to keep her snark to a minimum. “No one else would be able to report these stories. She can get to places that are usually off-limits to the Western media.”   

“Miss Haught truly is one of a kind.”

“And the Chief thought it was a good idea.”

It was Nedley that Nicole had convinced first before even floating the idea with Waverly. The logical part of Waverly told her that Nicole needed to get the funding side sorted first. But another part of her thought that Nicole had convinced Nedley first because she’d expected Waverly to say no to the idea.

Even now, Nedley kept looking at her oddly and Waverly wasn’t sure if it was because she was supposed to tell Nicole to stay.

“It’ll be good for Haught.” Doc added, although his inflection made it sound like a question.  

“It will be. She’ll get a Peabody for the interview she did last night.”

“And you didn’t tell her not to go?”

“Why would I?” Waverly can think of multiple reasons – the scar on her forehead, the marks on her ankle where the chain from her abduction had dug deeply into her skin. “She wanted to go. I’m not her keeper.”

Doc opened his mouth to respond but thought better of it.

“And upstairs is ok with the face of BBN being out of her chair for three weeks?”

“This is the sort of story we want for the show. Lucado is over the moon. Talking about News Night becoming a ratings juggernaut. Tomorrow they’re going to Mosul during the ceasefire. She’ll be the first American journalist to visit the city in years.”

Doc took on an even more concerned expression. “That doesn’t sound safe. It certainly doesn’t sound worth the risk.”

“It’s a good opportunity,” she replied, even though she agreed with Doc. “For all of us.”

Since he was attacked in Yemen, Perry had sworn he was never leaving the country to do foreign coverage even again.

But Nicole did not seem to have those concerns. She seemed to thrive in this sort of instability.

She had wanted to leave.

And Waverly still didn’t know how to tell her to stay.

\---

The Cham Palace had been Nicole’s second choice of hotel, after the Sheraton was booked by all the delegates travelling to Mosul. It was also her second choice as it was the hotel which she and Dolls had been residing in when it had been bombed two years previous.

When Dolls had been shot in the arse.

“I’m fine,” she assured him, waving away his concern. “They’ve completely renovated. You can’t even tell that the façade was blown off.”

Dolls took very little comfort from that statement.

When Nicole had first received the offer to be the travelling reporter with the United Nations fact finding mission, he had assumed he would be going with her. Not Wynonna. Or Jeremy who had only just finished his mandatory psych sessions after his abduction in Yemen.

“How’s Jeremy?”

Nicole pretended to be reading a report on the table next to her and answered glibly. “With the renovations?”

“You know what I mean.”

Dolls suspected that Nicole had enrolled Jeremy in her own version of a trauma recovery program – burying trauma in even more trauma. Dolls is very familiar with the strategy having seen Nicole attempt it last time she was in a conflict zone. It was only upon return to America that Dolls had discovered what the initial heartbreak had been.

“He and Wynonna are downstairs talking to some of the military personnel we’re travelling with. Going over the itinerary and regulations. I guess they’ll also cover what happens in the event of an IED or ambush on the convoy.” Nicole continued to appear disinterested as she shuffled papers aimlessly on the table.

“Why aren’t you sitting in?” 

“I think I remember what to do if we get attacked.”

“I guess you are more familiar with the concept than most,” Dolls drily replied. “Just don’t go getting shot in the arse. More painful than people give it credit for.”

“The amount of whinging…”

“It hurt.”

A small smile broke through on Nicole’s face as she winded Dolls up. “How’s the rundown looking for tonight’s show?”

“It’s in your inbox.” He’s certain Nicole had already gone through the rundown, unable to step away from the show entirely. “I guess you’re unlikely to be abducted on this trip considering you’re a small fish compared to those you’re travelling with.”

Not that Dolls wanted to see Nicole kidnapped again. But he did want to see Waverly a little more engaged with the fact that Nicole was once again in a warzone.

“So how’s everyone?”

Dolls was pretty sure ‘everyone’ was code for Waverly.

A second face joined Dolls’ on the screen. “Well if it isn’t Miss Haught.”

“What’s up Doc?”

Dolls and Doc rolled their eyes as Nicole giggled, clearly the lack of sleep had gone to her head.

“Doc, don’t you have an interview to prep for?” Dolls grouched.

“Indeed I do. I’m expanding. I’m covering the Venezuelan economic collapse.”

“Interesting. What’ve you got?” Nicole asked.

Doc looked down at his cards in his hands. “The Vice President’s trip to Ecuador had him make a statement for freedom loving countries to continue to isolate Venezuela. So, I’ve got a Professor of foreign policy and the head of the Council on Foreign Relations coming on. Any suggestions?”

Leaning slightly back in her chair, Nicole ran her hand through her loose hair. “I would concentrate on the human rights abuse and how the collapse is affecting the general population. Don’t let the academics push you into discussing how the collapse may or may not affect the U.S.”

“Thanks,” he replied, scribbling some further notes. “Good luck for tomorrow. Today?”

Seven hours ahead, Dolls was about to say before Nicole cut in.

“Tomorrow. It’s not midnight yet,” she said, waving when Doc nodded and headed back to his own office. “See, you’ve got this.” She added towards Dolls.

He really should be in Iraq with her he thought but he kept that to himself. “You’re letting Jeremy run!” he hissed. “To Iraq. Where I got shot in the ass!”

She waved him off. “True, but I’m here.”

He knows that his expression was not exactly filled with confidence.

“You were there when I got shot in the ass.” He reminded her.

“He’ll be fine. Jeremy will listen to directions better than you ever did.” She replied with a blank expression, but arching an eyebrow like a threat. “I did tell you to keep low.”

He chuckled. “And yet you leave your anchor desk in the hands of Croft. You might come back to a single digit audience.”  

Nicole looked like she was going to give a sharp retort before her face dropped. Dolls turned to see what the issue was and noted that Waverly had stepped out of her office.

“I should let you get back to work.” Nicole said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “And your b-block, it’s a little weak.”

“What?”

But she’d already ended the call.

\---

Her phone rung with a familiar number flashing on the screen caused Nicole to immediately hand it off to Wynonna.

Waverly didn’t want to talk to her anyway.

Sighing, Nicole lay back down on her bed as the silence in the hotel room was broken only by the one sided conversation between the two sisters.

“Again?” Jeremy asked when Wynonna hung up.

“I honestly don’t think Waverly knows anything about moderation.” Wynonna lightly grouched shooting a pointed look at Nicole. “What time is it?”

On the bed across the room, Jeremy looked at his watch and counted back. “Almost half past three.”

The air conditioning in the hotel room had dried out Nicole’s month so she took a large sip from one of the many bottles of water littered throughout the room.

“We should probably head outside.” Nicole said with a groan as she pulled herself upright. After skyping with Dolls, she’d slept curled around her laptop and her body ached from the uncomfortable position. She combed her fingers through her hair and felt knots. “Let me do my hair and make-up first and I’ll meet you outside.”

She wasn’t in an appropriate state to appear in front of the camera.

And once the segment was recorded, she would promptly scrub all the make-up back off in preparation for the trip out to Mosul. Nicole had learnt from experience that sitting in an armoured vehicle with foundation melting off her face was far from ideal.

Her back ached as she entered the bathroom as she attempted to stretch and loosen her muscles. The Cham Palace, despite Dolls complaints, was a luxury hotel but Nicole found herself more often than not sleeping in a chair pulled up against the desk that hadn’t exactly done wonders for her back.

Nicole reached for her magnified mirror to begin the beautifying process. But all that did was amplified the heavy bags under her eyes. They had blossomed into an impressive purplish-blue colour that required an increasing amount of concealer to hide. It didn’t bother her – she hadn’t returned to Iraq to sleep.

She’d come back to see if she could embed again without it crushing her. But there had also been the petty reason to return – Waverly had insinuated she could leave so Nicole had temporarily taken her up on the offer.

Waverly had been right – she needed to move on.

Kathrine hadn’t worked out and all it would take for any future suitors to google her and they’d discover that she was a cheater. Nicole figured she may as well admit that the death knell had tolled on her love life. There was nothing keeping her in the States.

With practiced hands, Nicole applied a neutral eye shadow and a layer of mascara. Chapstick followed by lipstick quickly followed before turning to address her hair. It looked like a bird had taken up residence on the left side of her head. She ran a brush through her hair, followed by a blow dryer and a touch of hair spray to keep it flat.

Nicole had wanted Waverly to oppose the idea of the trip to Iraq. Not that she would have listened or stayed. But she had wanted Waverly to object. She had thought Waverly, the queen of all thing research, would show her reports of terrorist activities, travel advisories stating not to journey there, to call her reckless.

To say she could get hurt or worse.

“Fuck, just focus,” she hissed at the person staring back from the mirror. “Now is not the time to get emotional.”

Instead Waverly had nodded and stated it was a good idea. Nedley had shot daggers at the two of them and muttered “lunatics” under his breath.

So Nicole had boarded a flight and travelled to the other side of the world.

Back to a warzone.

She’d been spending her free time checking out options for long-term assignments here. The excuse that she already had a job becoming weaker and weaker. On Wednesday, she’d fly back to the States to her current job and pretend she hadn’t sent emails to old colleagues asking about an opening for as a foreign correspondent in Syria. 

Exiting the bathroom, Nicole saw that Wynonna had been waiting for her.

“There’s something I need to say.”

“Ok,” Nicole answered slowly, hearing the seriousness in the older Earp’s tone.

“I don't know who told you you're a bad person not worth anyone’s love, but somebody did. Somebody along the way. Somebody or something convinced you of it, because you think you're destined to be alone... and you're just not. I don’t think it was Waves, I guess she just cemented it.”

“What are…” Nicole started.

“Hang on, I’m not finished. So because you think you're a bad person you try to do things you think a good guy would do. Like running off to wars because you figure you are destined to be left anyway. You figure it’s better to leave than to be left. You think leaving is setting Waverly free when really it just keeps her in purgatory.”

Nicole mouth dropped open in shock as Wynonna’s voice got louder.

“I saw the tabs open on your laptop. You’re looking for a job over here.” Wynonna accused.

“Oh.” Nicole didn’t bother to defend herself.

“You seriously think Waverly is calling all the time to talk to me?”

Nicole stayed silent.

“She’s scared that you’re not coming home. She calls to make sure you’re still here. So are you?”

“What?”

“Coming home?”

Nicole nodded weakly.

“But you’re not staying?”

Nicole shrugged. “I’m just checking out my options.”  

“Do you remember Elizabeth Neuffer?”

“The journalist? Yeah. She died, what 15 years ago now?”

“That’s the one. She once said being a war correspondent is an act of violence against the people you love the most because they end up having to stay behind worrying about you. And that’s something you seem incapable of grasping.”

“Wynonna, it’s not…”

“How can two people so in love manage to screw it up so badly?” Wynonna exasperatedly griped, more to herself than to Nicole.

“She doesn’t feel that way.” Nicole knew it was pointless to claim that she wasn’t still in love with Waverly.

“You know nothing.” Wynonna snapped. “Sometimes, I wish my sister had never met you.”

“Wynonna…” Nicole started.

“Just don’t Haught.” Wynonna cut in holding up her hands. “You’ve done enough.”

Wynonna scowled at her one final time before stalking out of the room.   

 

 


	9. Always in my head

Against the Baghdad skyline, Nicole looked comfortable on the foreign street. Maybe more so than at the anchor desk at News Night which frightened Wynonna just a little. It was early and the sun’s appearance was still several hours away as Wynonna stood next to Jeremy with the camera. Nicole’s phone was pressed to her ear, waiting for the cue from Dolls for their segment to begin. 

If Nicole had slept last night, it had done nothing to lighten the bags under her eyes. Wynonna strongly suspected that she and Jeremy were here as mere formalities. When she had asked to travel with Nicole, she had thought Nicole would say no. She’d used the excuse that she wanted foreign experience – when really it was because she had seen the look in Nicole’s eyes.

She was preparing to run.

Their segment goes quickly with Perry asking the prearranged questions that Nicole answered. Wynonna barely paid attention, her mind focussed on her sister’s disastrous love life. Nicole and Waverly existed in contrast - the longer they seemed to spend together the more they managed to move apart. Maybe she should lock them in an office together when they got back to the States? How Nicole remained oblivious to Waverly’s feelings for her beggared belief.

But if Nicole had noticed, they wouldn’t be Baghdad.

“And you’re clear,” Dolls said, voice hard. He’s angry with her and she’s angry with him too. Dolls wanted to be at Nicole’s side and she had replaced him. Wynonna was angry at him for not trying to stop Nicole from running.

“Cheers.”

She refused to apologise for being here. If Dolls was here, he and Nicole would just disappear.

“Can you put Haught on for me?” he asked after a moments pause. “We’ve gone to a break.”

“Yeah I know.” The rundown for tonight’s show was in her hand. “Just a sec, she’s unclipping.”

Just before Wynonna passed the phone to Nicole, she heard her sister faintly asking, “You’ve still got her?”

\---

Nicole let Wynonna and Jeremy slide into the armoured vehicle before climbing in after them.  She placed her phone in her backpack, trying not to over-examine her stilted conversation with Waverly. They were nearly seven thousand miles apart and talking to Waverly on the phone made the distance seem like inches. Two years ago, the distance had felt like enough to drown in.

Now the distance didn’t seem like enough.

Nicole knew she would have no issues scoring a job in Syria or Iraq. She was a proven talent. She wondered if she was having trouble sleeping because her subconscious was telling her running was a futile gesture. It hadn’t worked last time. Waverly Earp was impossible to get over.

“God, could Kevlar get any more uncomfortable?” Wynonna grouched as she pulled futilely as the vest she was wearing.  

Nicole laughed drily. “Just be thankful I’m not making you wear your helmet inside the vehicle.”

Jeremy was struggling to sort out the straps for his seat. “Why does it feel like I’m strapping myself into a roller-coaster?”

“You’ll be happy with the straps when you realise these vehicles have absolutely no suspension. And bench seats are not overly kind on anyone’s behind.”

“No suspension?” Jeremy looked slightly concerned.

“Not a bit. You aren’t a puker are you?”

“…No…”

Since his answer lacked any real conviction, Nicole didn’t complain as Wynonna moved as close as possible to her.

“Haught?” Wynonna asked. “What happens if we do get hit by an IED? And obliviously assuming we don’t die. What do we do? That wasn’t really covered in the orientation session.”

Laughing slightly to lighten the mood. “Well it’s different to being shot at. Bombs tend to go off remotely. So assuming you survive, the primary threat has generally been eliminated.”

“Ok, so…”

“You wait,” Nicole added, jostling Wynonna slightly to ensure she was still listening. “If a bomb goes off, you wait. If you are already in a location that offers protection, stay where you are. If not, count to thirty and then move a location with protection. Move away from anything flammable or ammunition. Cover your nose and mouth and only talk as a last resort. They’ll be a lot of dust.”

“Ok.” Both Jeremy and Wynonna said, both nodding.

“And other thing, there really is nothing you can do. The bomb has already detonated. Help people if you can and then do your job. That’s the difference between surviving a bombing or a shooting here.”

Jeremy fidgeted in his seat nervously. “And if we get shot at?”

“You won’t be complaining about your Kevlar then.”

It was a glib answer, given to relax Jeremy. But her real answer was – “the only way you two were getting shot is because my corpse wasn’t holding up as a shield”.

\---

The trek out to Mosul was long.

And much to Nicole’s amazement – Jeremy managed to fall asleep.

Wynonna had studiously avoided looking at her until the silence of the car was broken by a muttered, “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“I may have been unduly harsh on you.”

Nicole shrugged her shoulders before responding, “She’s your family. You’re just protecting her.”

“From you? I use to think you’d be the last person I would need to protect her from. I just don’t understand where it went so wrong.”

“Didn’t Waverly tell you?” Nicole asked with an arched eyebrow.

“That she cheated?”

Nicole nodded.

“She told me. Only after you came back though. I spent so long hating you, well…I never really asked how you are.”

“I’m ok.” Nicole replied, lacking any real conviction.

“I know you better than that.”

Nicole chuckled drily. “I’ll be ok,” she amended.

Wynonna didn’t look convinced. “Over here? You’re not sleeping. You’re barely holding it together. Just come home.”

“Not really sure if that’s my home.”

“I’m sure it can still be fixed.” A hint of exasperation leaking into Wynonna’s tone.  

“I don’t think it can.”

“Because she was unfaithful?”

Nicole shrugged her shoulders. “In the beginning we were just dating. It wasn’t serious. I knew that. But I think I was in love with her from the first time she talked to me. So to me, it was always serious.”

“And then?”

“It got serious. We were talking about marriage. Kids. And then she told me about him. Part of me still wonders if she told me because she wanted to break up.”

“Are you serious? You’re it for Waverly.”

The declaration was met by another shrug of the shoulders from the redhead.

“Waverly mentioned that you forgave her?”

“Yeah, well, kind of. I said all the right words, but I refused to talk about it. I started to resent her. I was insecure that at any given moment Waverly was going to leave me.”

“So she told you to leave?”

“Yeah, pretty soon after I asked her to marry me.”

“You what?” Wynonna screeched causing the asleep Jeremy to shuffle restlessly in his seat. “Waverly failed to mention that.” She added in a quieter voice.

“It was a mistake. As soon as I asked, I realised. I could see the look of horror on her face. We were barely talking, marriage wasn’t going to solve the problem. In some ways, it was the final nail in the coffin of our relationship.”

“So you left.”

“I couldn’t face her. Waverly wasn’t the only one in the wrong.”

“So why did you come back?”

“I still love her.” Nicole replied in a small voice. “I know you probably think that it’s pathetic. With all the sordid history. But she’s it for me.”

“Did you ever tell her that?”

“She knows. Why else would I come back?”

Wynonna paused to examine Nicole’s face before slowly saying, “Haught, Waverly has no idea how you feel about her.”

 Wynonna watched as a look of shock morphed into dismay, “She doesn’t know?”

Wynonna just nodded her head.

\---

Kalak is a small village at the foot of Mount Mar Daniel close to Mosul. The sandy coloured cliffs contrasted with the crisp blue sky made for a picturesque view.  It was impossible to tell that this village had once been controlled by a terrorist organisation.

The convoy had stopped as one of the trucks was having fuel issues and they needed to wait for a spare part.

So Nicole had stopped to admire the view.

“It’s so beautiful. Peaceful.”

“It really is.”

Her memory of this place had become dark. It had become obscured from when she had compartmentalised her life into boxes of before and after. Kalak was one of those places that had been locked away so its long shadow did not overwhelm her.

Notepad clasped tightly to his chest, Jeremy appeared beside her as they looked around at the Kalak marketplace.

“Was it like this? Even before?”

Nicole smiled, attempting to look less like she felt. She was feeling too much, the bright colours, the bustle and the smell all threatened to overwhelm her. She always felt it. But from across the Atlantic, it was filtered by the distance and the hustle of the city counteracted the memories. But being back was nearly suffocating.

“A couple of years ago we covered the bombing of that mosque.” Nicole replied, pointing at the building down the street. “Thirty-two died. The Iraqi forces that came up from Bagdad the next day to relieve the victims were attacked too. All ISIS.”

Jeremy’s face creased with bewilderment. “Why would they bomb a mosque?”

“A large percentage of this village is Kurdish. Who fought with the Iraqi Forces. That’s where they pray. It was just for retaliation.” Nicole replied quietly as she leads Jeremy to the stall for a closer look. “And yes, it is beautiful. It always was.”

And she meant it.

They begin to meander through the marketplace. Nicole eyes never stayed still as she continuously scanned their surroundings. Darting backwards and forwards, she checked the cars and people passing them. Even though they are travelling with the military, the old habit of constant vigilance was ever present. 

To test her language skills, Nicole walked up to one of the vendors and begun to converse in broken Arabic. After her abduction, Nicole had sworn she would pick up the language and had persevered until she could converse to a reasonable standard. Purchasing a new head scarf and a keffiyeh for him, Nicole could tell that Jeremy was impressed with her language skills.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” Nicole asked.

Jeremy didn’t answer right away, but his face is set in determined thought, she so waited.

“Come back?” is the question he finally posed. Jeremy’s shoulder’s fold in on himself. “How do you make the pain go away?”

Nicole managed to catch the laugh that tried to bubble out. It was such an innocent question and for a moment, Jeremy was once again the recent graduate who dreamed of changing the world one story at a time. He was still ever hopeful of starting with the discovery of Bigfoot. Nicole knew that despite how Jeremy’s trip to Yemen ended, he never intended for this trip to redirect the pain. What Jeremy had experienced during the rebellion had changed him.

But it hadn’t overwhelmed him.

He wasn’t her.

“Well talking to a psychiatrist helps. And taking the antidepressants that are prescribes are also a good start.” Nicole drily replied, repeating something that Nedley had first told her when she’d returned to the States. “Took me months to fill my prescription. Before that, I drank a lot of whiskey. In the middle of the afternoon. Or in the morning. I can help you Jeremy. But don’t go down my route.”

Biting his lip, Jeremy shrugged “The antidepressants… I’ve been on them. I don’t know if it’ll help, I don’t know if…”

“They won’t make you forget.” Nicole said with conviction, no doubt in her voice.

Nicole had spent months trying to forget before learning that the release she was seeking was impossible. She had sought her peace in other ways.

“Yeah?”

“It’s not about forgetting. Do you think Dolls has forgotten the bombing? Or Perry getting beaten?”

No one ever forgot. And because of that, it made acceptance the Holy Grail. 

“What’s the trick then?” Jeremy asked quietly.

Their pace slowed as they near the end of the marketplace.

Nicole was wary of giving advice to Jeremy because the answer was complex. And Nicole still had an incomplete answer as she was still trying to work it out herself.

“You need to die,” was all Nicole could think to say. “Everything you know. Everything you think you are.” That was the toughest and most painful lesson – one that Nicole had only just learnt. She had to leave her past behind. “Then you’ll find room for the pain. To grieve. To mourn what could have been.”

“But you love Waverly.” Jeremy blurted before clapping his hands over his mouth. “I didn’t mean. But if you died. If you left...”

“Love can also be pain.” Nicole groaned, not bothering to disagree with Jeremy’s statement. “But if you asking me how to fall out of love with someone, I’m not the person to ask.” 

It wasn’t the discussion she had intended to have with Jeremy. But everyone already knew a version of her and Waverly’s sordid past.

“But what are you doing here if you love each other?”

Nicole barked out laugh. “It’s more of a one way street. All we do is hurt each other. The distance is better for us.”

“Love has nothing to do with distance.”

Nicole lifted an eyebrow at the conviction in Jeremy’s reply.

“I knew this boy,” she started, reaching up to tighten the Jeremy’s helmet chin strap. “He was just a kid. He was a keen photographer. But only film. He somehow made himself a shoebox sized darkroom back at base. He’d send the photos back home. Sometimes, he’d send them to me too. One was of that mountain.” Nicole said as she pointed in the distance as she fell silent for several seconds.

“And then he died.” Nicole swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “What I’m saying is, without him, Kalak would just be one of the many villages on the road to Mosul.”

“How did he die?”

“Ambush. Back near Bagdad.” Nicole answered. “I thought that I could be the same person I was before everything. Before Syria. Before Iraq. Before Waverly. But I can’t be.”

“So then what are you now?”

Blinking away her tears, Nicole paused before answering. “I stopped trying to be that person. And the weight lessened. I found I could breathe just a little easier.”

Sighing slightly, Nicole pulled out a crinkled photo from the pouch of her vest and turned it to face Jeremy.  “Looking at this photo still hurts. But I remember how happy he was when he took the photo. How happy I was.”

Jeremy swallowed hard. “He died in front of me. In Yemen. The boy who helped me.”

“And Matt died as I clasped onto to his hand. Praying for a miracle.”

Jeremy tried to disguise his sob with a cough as he rocked back on his feet. “I want to be tough. Like you.”

Once again, Nicole had to stop herself from laughing. Jeremy was sweet and she didn’t want to spoil the image that he had of her. Nicole didn’t think explaining that there were still nights when she would wake up drenched in sweat would be beneficial.

“Jeremy, you are tough.” She said as she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“But I…” He begun with before stopping and hugging his notebook even tighter to his chest. “I can’t stop thinking. What if we hadn’t met him? What if we’d never crossed paths.”

“You might be dead.”

“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve to be alive.”

Jeremy’s eyes are wide and pleading which is an expression Nicole knew well.

“You’ll figure it out.” She replied, confident that Jeremy would. “You ready for this afternoon?”

Assuming they do ever actually leave Karak.

“I’m sure I’ll manage to forget something and manage to insult one of the dignitaries.” Jeremy replied with a nervous giggle. “But I can do this.”

 “Good. You hungry? I think they’ll give us lunch here before we move out. Is Wynonna still sleeping?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll go get her.” The hint of glee in Jeremy’s tone indicated he was looking forward to abruptly waking Wynonna.

Jeremy quickly darted back into the crowd, heading back in the direction where the convoy was parked. Nicole hesitated and thought to call out to Jeremy, to remind him to be careful. But her thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing loudly from her backpack.

Digging through the front pouch, she finally located that phone and bought it to her ear.

“It’s the middle of night Dolls,” she said as her lips curled down into a frown.

Alone now, Nicole saw the top of Jeremy’s head as he neared the armoured vehicles.

“For me.” He replied, but Nicole can hear the annoyance in his tone.

“What’s up?”

He ignored her question. “Are you in Mosul yet?”

“Nope, waiting for a spare part. Should be here soon.” Nicole looked down at the booth in front of her and saw that it was selling flowers. “They’re scrambling to reschedule everything.”

“And you?”

“Just a little shopping,” she answered flatly. “It’s one in the morning Dolls, what’s gone wrong?”

“The story about the bombing is dead. Howard will hand over the file.”

Nicole sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “How did you manage that?”

“We’re trading Genoa for it.”

“Genoa is a dead end story. There’s no double confirmation. Or even single confirmation that the U.S. military used chemical weapons.”

“She doesn’t know that though, does she?” The glee heavy in his voice. “She deserves a visit from the military police if she runs the story.”

Nicole bit her lip, conflicted by giving a false story Nina Howard.

“Dolls, don’t do anything…”

Before she could finish the sentence, Nicole was lifted off her feet by a thunderous explosion. The phone was torn from her hand as she flew through the air.

Nicole landed heavily on the ground, her limbs splayed at awkward angles.

And she did not move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed update. Needed to ensure I added the right amount of angst. 
> 
> Thanks for the continued feedback. I really enjoy reading the comments.


	10. Don`t Panic

Waverly didn’t bother going home after her trade with Nina but instead found herself wandering aimlessly around the bullpen. Nina had been quick to accept the files on Genoa and Waverly really didn’t want to spend time with one of her biggest mistakes.

Waverly had sent the intern home who had been manning the Assignments Desk so she could be alone.

“What are you doing down here?”

She felt a large hand settle on her waist and drag her towards to elevator.

“Doc?”

“Waverly, you need to be upstairs.” Finally she managed to catch a glimpse of Doc with a stricken expression on his face.  Waverly can see the he had thrown on whatever clothes had first come to hand and his usually immaculate hair was ruffled.

“Wait. Why?”

Doc stopped directing her. “You haven’t heard?”

With a growing sense of dread, Waverly shook her head. “I made the trade with Nina Howard and then decided to just…”

“Thank goodness,” he said with a sigh and for a few seconds, Waverly’s sense of impending doom receded. “No, we need to keep moving.” Doc suddenly added, as he again grasped Waverly’s hand.

“Doc?” Waverly asked, not fighting against him as he pulled her into the elevator.

Doc’s mouth opened and closed several times as he attempted to find the right words. “There was an explosion. Dolls was on the phone with Haught. He heard, well he said it sounded like an explosion. And I think he would know what they sound like.”

Although Waverly heard the words, she was unable to process them beyond a crippling sense of guilt and a litany of god no.

She also wanted to throw up.

“How long…”

“Thirty minutes or so,” Doc answered. “Why do you think I’m dressed like this?”

“Has Dolls tried to call back?” Waverly asked before continuing. “Of course he has. There’s no other reporters…” Waverly blinked rapidly as she watched the numbers flash on the elevator.

Waverly racked her brain to think of someone to call. But her mind was quickly overwhelmed with imagines of smoke and rubble, of blood and bodies.

Of a lifeless Nicole. And Wynonna.

Helplessly, Doc shrugged. “The phone is dead. Or at least Dolls can’t get through. And you know they were the only reporters assigned to the trip. I’m sure they are all fine. Haught knows what to do in these situations? Right?”

Waverly felt herself begin to hyperventilate.

Waverly wondered if she could have stopped Nicole – both this trip and those before. When Nicole and Dolls were at the Cham Palace when it was attacked, the roadside bomb that scarred her face, when she was abducted. 

She wondered if it would have made a difference if she had answered an email or letter. Or returned one of the countless unanswered calls.

Or if she’d flown to Iraq after the abduction and told her to come home.

But even now, fear held Waverly back.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of resentment.

But what if Nicole is dead?

Or Wynonna?

Her stomach churned with dread as the elevator door opened with a ding depositing Waverly and Doc into Nedley’s office.

Dolls had contacted everyone who might know anything about an explosion in a small village outside Mosul  - the State Department, Pentagon, NATO. He had called every favour, agreed to every request in his desperate bid to obtain information. But no one could tell him what precisely had happened in Karuk forty minutes ago.

He had also called Nicole’s mother, who once again had been woken at a strange hour to be informed that Nicole might be dead.

As Waverly looked around the office, she could see that everyone was on a phone. Dolls paced the office, finally connected to the U.S. military base at Basel who had him on hold as they attempted to make contact with the United Nations fact-finding mission.

He barely kept himself upright as blood coursed through his body and adrenaline kept him on edge. The anger built and built, twisting tighter and tighter at the unknown. 

Until Waverly had appeared in the office, his anger was directionless.

“You…” Dolls said with equal parts agony and accusation as his eyes settled on Waverly. “You did this!”

\---

These were the moments when she wanted Waverly.

With her eyes still closed, she had no idea how far the blast wave threw her. Her ears rung and the sound of the chaos around her was muffled to a low din. Bending in on herself, she felt the sharp edges of broken concrete beneath her body, digging in to her torn skin. Mouth filled with blood, Nicole tested her weight but her arms gave out as pain shot up her left side. She collapsed back onto the concrete and cried out in pain as the jiggered edges cut deeper.

She wanted Waverly.

At this moment, it didn’t matter that it was unrequited love.

But then she remembered.

Wynonna.

Jeremy.

Drawing a ragged breath, she forced herself to open her eyes.

\---

They followed Nicole’s advice.

Somehow, the armoured car didn’t flip, and Jeremy and Wynonna stayed huddled inside of it. Wynonna had wanted to rush outside and find Nicole but the iron grip from Jeremy and the panic in his eyes made her wait.

So they waited, while Jeremy chattered that Nicole would be fine, tried to rationalise that she would be pissed if they didn’t follow her instructions so recently given. That _both_ of them had agreed to. But as the screams grew louder and the dust settled, Wynonna grabbed the camera, turned it on and pulled Jeremy out of the car.

“Oh god,” he breathed, eyes wide in shock as they took in the chaos of the marketplace. His vision settled on the charred remains of a vehicle that had obviously been used as the bomb delivery method.

It was only then they both noticed the mangled limbs and bloodied bodies.

“Fuck.” Wynonna cursed. “Where was she?”

“Not this close.” Jeremy replied, unable to stop gawking at the crater in the road.

Wynonna was interrupted from questioning him further as a couple of men in fatigues ran past, carrying a limp person between them. “Jeremy, where was she?” She focussed the camera on the wreckage, looking for Nicole. Waiting for one of soldiers to turn over a body to reveal the recognisable face.

“We have to keep looking,” Jeremy said, his voice high pitched in panic. “We need to go. I need to go back to where she was.” 

“Come on, Haught,” she muttered as she blindly swings the camera around looking for her. Looking for the unmistakable red hair.

Jeremy suddenly broke into a sprint, heading back in the direction where he and Nicole had parted.  

“Jeremy, come back!” Wynonna yelled after him before starting to follow after him. They were now breaking every instruction that Nicole had given. So the least they could do was stick together.

He saw Nicole just as Wynonna caught back up.

“Nicole.” Jeremy shouted, as they both rushed to her side. Wynonna let the camera fall to her side as she knelt next to Nicole who was still lying face down in the rubble.

“Oh, thank god.” Nicole slurred as Wynonna and Jeremy helped to move her against a wall. Although sitting, Nicole’s head dropped back to her chest, her hair forming a curtain across her face. “The phone. Find the phone. I was talking to Dolls.”

Jeremy looked around at the mess of rubble and torn up street. “Nicole, I don’t think we’re finding the phone.”

He and Wynonna gasped when Nicole looked up at them, allowing for her face to be seen for the first time. Her face was a mess of blood and dirt. Her nose, he assumed, was broken as her eyes were slitted and the bridge of her nose appeared swollen. The backs of her hands, forearms and the front of her thighs appear to be littered with lacerations as her clothes were stained red.

Pulling out some tissues, Jeremy tried to wipe away some of the blood from her eyes but his hands were shaking so Nicole took it from him.

“So how do you feel?” Wynonna finally asked.

“Like I was blown up.”

“Good. Sass I can deal with. Sass means you aren’t dying. Although I think you have a broken nose.”

“And arm. Maybe.” Nicole added. “Try and make a sling out of the camera strap.”

“Ok, initiative. So you still have some brain function.”

Nicole snorted before letting out a groan. “Don’t make me laugh.”

With her own trembling hand, Nicole wiped away the blood that was burning in her eyes.

“You need to see a medic.”

Groaning, she shook her head. “No, we keep filming.”

Dolls had warned Wynonna of this – don’t let Nicole say that she is fine - if something was to happen. Wynonna opened her mouth to rebuke Nicole when Jeremy let out a screech as another limp body was carried past.

“Let’s compromise. I’ll keep filming and you go back to the convoy with Jeremy.”

Nicole managed to pull herself upright, holding her injured arm tightly against her body. “No. Let’s get to work. Let’s see if we can interview any of the vendors.”

Wynonna realised she was fighting a losing battle so slipped in beneath Nicole’s uninjured arm to offer support. Jeremy ducked down to take the other side.

Hearing her laboured breathing, Wynonna tried to examine Nicole’s head while holding the camera steady. Although she’s upright and sort of walking, Nicole could easily pass as a member of Fight Club. Wynonna’s lingering fear was that Nicole was more seriously injured then she was sharing. That Nicole was upright on adrenaline only.

“Maybe you should sit?” Wynonna suggested uneasily.

“Neither of you speak the language.” Nicole replied, her voice clearer although she was still leaning heavily on them for support. Wynonna thought that Nicole seemed almost excited.

 “Haught…”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve survived worse.” She asserted as she tried to take more of her own weight to prove her point. “I just need to find a phone. I’m sure that Dolls is currently convincing everyone that we’re dead.”

Nicole felt that she was handling herself well – she had managed to stay upright as Wynonna kept the camera rolling. She had to breathe through her mouth instead of her nose and this had left her raspy but they had got some good footage and interviews.

Stubbornness worked for just over an hour.

Suddenly, Nicole hunched over and threw up the remnants of her breakfast laced with blood. Without Wynonna holding her up, she’s pretty sure she would have landed face first back in the dirt as her body was wracked with pain.

“Nicole?” Wynonna questioned, her voice panicked. “Nicole, is that blood?”

Groaning in pain as the heaves to empty her stomach had jostled her arm. “From my nose.” She managed to moan out between the dry heaving. “It’s dripping down the back of my throat.”

She’d see a medic. Later.

“Nicole, please.” Wynonna implored. “This has gone on long enough. Jeremy found the phone. Well, half of it. It was a couple of meters from where you…”

“Landed?”

Wynonna chuckled sightly, “I guess so…”

Nicole spat out some more blood from her mouth, trying to get rid of the metallic taste. All things considered, Nicole figured it was time to head back to the convoy. At least there would be water.

“We need to call Dolls,” she reminded Wynonna. “He would have recognised the explosion and there would now be some early reports of the attack coming down the wire.”

“You won’t be doing it with this phone.” Jeremy said as he showed them the half phone that he had managed to locate.

Cursing slightly, Nicole looked at the busted shell of a phone. “Dolls will currently be overreacting.”

“Overreacting?” Wynonna responded incredulously. “You got blown up!”

“Fine, ok. It’s bad.” Nicole relented as Jeremy lead them back to the convoy. “But I’m trying to look at the positives.”

Jeremy and Wynonna looked at her with concern.

Slumping against one of the armoured cars, she asks the driver if there is a satellite phone available. Met with a negative response, they’re told that the convoy will be transporting them back to Balad and from there, they can contact the States.

“Fuck.” Jeremy and Wynonna look at her with concerned expressions. “It’s two hours back to Balad.”

Nicole was given some weak painkillers and her most serious wounds were irrigated. And then she was told that she’s was in a suitable state to undertake the trip back to Balad.

\---

“She’ll call,” Dolls muttered, clenching and unclenching his hands. “Haught will call.”

“Not if she…” Doc began before shaking his head. “What if they’re all injured? Who do we have closest to them?”

“We’re in contact with all the local hospitals.” Dolls answered. “But being foreigners, they’ll be passed to one of the military bases at the trip was organised by the United Nations. They know to call me if they get bought in. Someone will call.”  Dolls ended with a plea.

Dolls hated this but the anger was directed inwards.

He should have been there with her. Jeremy was too fragile and Wynonna lacked the training.

He should have been there.

The silence in Waverly’s office is broken by shouts from the bullpen. One of the other A.Ps appeared at the door, out of breath.

“Pick up the…”

She was cut off by the phone ringing on Waverly’s desk.

Without a second thought, Dolls lunged for the phone and bought it to his ear. “Xavier Dolls.”

“Dolls? It’s…”

“Jeremy.” Dolls cut in as he pushed down to put the phone on speaker. “You’re on speaker.”

“Ah, well. We’re all ok. I think.” Jeremy started. “Nicole is getting looked at the base hospital. Wynonna’s with her. Not that she’s…”

Jeremy’s voice dropped and Dolls can hear voices in the background. Shouts and yelling at what he assumes is a military base.

Nedley folded his arms and moved to sit next to Waverly on the couch.

“Hospital?” Nedley asked.

“Yeah. We were taken back to Balad. Looks like she has a broken nose and maybe her arm as well. She also needs an MRI because she’s pretty sure that the blast knocked her out.”

Waverly whimpered as Jeremy listed Nicole’s injures.

“And ah, her face is pretty banged up. Bruised only.  She thinks Wynonna might have to do the next cross. And there is a fair bit of shrapnel that needs to be removed but it looks small. But Nicole says she’s fine. Said that surface wounds always bleed a lot. That they look worse than they are. But it looks painful.”

At that, Waverly begun to sob quietly.

“Jeremy,” Doc said, looking worriedly at the direction of Waverly.

“Yeah?”

“What the happened?”

“Right,” Jeremy responded quietly with a rustling of paper as he flicks through his notes. “Looks like a suicide bomber. There was a truck parked in the marketplace. We don’t think it was aimed at the mission. We weren’t even scheduled to stop there. Nicole was lucky. A lot of casualties. Maybe fifty. And it’s only going to go up.” 

Nedley’s eyes shot up, “But you and Wynonna?”

“Nicole had sent up back to the convoy. We were in one of the armoured cars when the blast went off. We’re fine.”

Dolls rubbed his face, feeling overwhelmed. “How close was she?”

“I don’t know. She was maybe thirty meters when we found her but that’s not where she started.” Jeremy’s voice got higher as panic started to leak back into his tone. “She lost the phone when the blast went off. That’s why we couldn’t contact you. She was hyper. Manic. We got a lot of footage. I’ve found a computer to upload in to the BBN server. But they want to move us back to Baghdad. Nicole’s starting to fade.”

Dolls frowned. “Is she actually going to stop?”

“Maybe. Although I might need Waverly to tell her to sit down.” Jeremy conceded and Dolls felt laughter well up inside him. Even now, Jeremy knew the only way to get Nicole to rest was to get Waverly to enforce it. “If what our driver said is true, we’ll be heading back to Baghdad tonight.”  

“Can we talk to her? Or Wynonna.”

Everyone in the room turned to look at Waverly, who was staring down at her feet.

“Not at the moment. But they’ll be back here soon. I’ll try and get them to call before we leave but it might not be till Baghdad.”

“I’ll organise for a satellite phone to meet you at the hotel.” Dolls said. 

Silence falls on both sides of the Atlantic. Dolls felt the pent up fear and anger drain from his body.

Nicole was alive, but battered.

Wynonna was alive.

Jeremy was alive.

“Thanks Jeremy. Stay safe.” Dolls finished with as he disconnected the call.

Dolls just stared at the cradled phone for a long while as he refused to wipe away the tears blurring his vision. It was several minutes before he looked up and realised he had been left alone with Waverly, who was still cradling her head in her hands.

“Here.” Dolls said softly as he handed some tissues to Waverly.

As she took the offering from his outstretched hand, Dolls saw that Waverly’s hands are shaking and her face is ashen.

“I’m sorry.” Dolls said, even though he wasn’t ready to forgive Waverly. Nicole was alive so he needed to make his peace with Waverly.

“Don’t be.” Waverly replied, her eyes red with unshed tears. “Broken nose, broken arm, lacerations and probably a concussion. How is she? I mean, you’ve seen her after…” 

Waverly’s question petered out.

“It’ll hit her in a couple of days,” he answered, sounding a lot calmer than he felt. “Right now, her adrenaline will keep her upright.”

“Hit her?”

“She’ll get anxious and clingy. Maybe a bit manic before the exhaustion will hit like a freight train.” He exhaled sharply, trying to shake the frustration that he wasn’t there for Nicole. “She use to want you. Maybe she still does. I don’t know anymore.”

The veiled accusation hung in the air.

“I have an idea.” Waverly said breaking the tense silence.


	11. A hopeful transmission

By the time the remnants of the convoy arrived back in Baghdad, Nicole felt like a dead man walking but wisely kept that sentiment to herself. Ibn Sina Hospital had already processed most of the seriously injured people so when they arrived for treatment, she was lead to clean hospital bed and instructed to wait.

Wynonna helped her into a hospital gown and growled softly to herself once it became clear that Nicole’s pants had did little to protect her legs from shrapnel. Her upper body appeared to be largely unscathed which was a positive.

Nicole had managed to call her mother who would have heard about the bombing. But within minutes of hanging up, Nicole found she could not remember what she had exactly discussed with her mother. But she’s pretty sure that her killer headache was probably not the topic of conversation.

It was with some relief that the Head of Neurology appeared to take Nicole for an MRI and for an X-ray of her arm.

Nicole was diagnosed with a concussion, broken nose and a fractured arm. Which was what the medic had thought back at Basel but it was nice to have confirmation that she was not actively dying.  

While a cast was placed on her arm, Nicole handed off her painkiller script to Jeremy to get filled while Wynonna rushed back to the hotel to pick up the satellite phone that Dolls had promised.

It’s when the nurse had moved on to suturing and stitching up the worst of the lacerations that Wynonna returned and handed the satellite phone over.

“You had better phone home.” Wynonna said with an arched eyebrow, as if daring Nicole to fight her on this.

“Like ET?”

“Are we sure that’s not brain dripping out of your ears?” Wynonna deadpanned causing Nicole to snort and then groan as her nose was still protesting any movement.

“We probably shouldn’t joke about my recent brush with death.”

“Probably not. Pretty sure everyone is still having conniptions back home.” Wynonna agreed, although she had to try and hold in her grin. “I’m going to see where Jeremy got to. Use the phone Haught.”

Looking down at the phone in her hand, Nicole scowled slightly as she placed the call to the BBN switchboard.

Asking to be connected to Doll’s extension, Nicole is thrown when one of the other A.Ps answered. She’s quickly bought up to speed with office gossip although most of it passed straight through her mind. Although she was happy to listen as it distracted her from the nurse irrigating the cuts on her shins and thighs.

And then Doc wrestled the phone away from them. “Haught?”

“Hi,” Nicole replied quietly.

“You’re alive,” the relief was evident in Doc’s tone.  

“Seems that way,” she said slowly, her eyes fixed on the wound on her calf that was currently being sutured closed. Having been given a local anaesthetic, the sensation of a needle passing through her skin was strange. Her hands and arms were also lacerated, but were not nearly as bad.

“How are you feeling?”

Nicole snorted and immediately regretted that decision. Her broken nose did not appreciate the jostling.

“Well, the force of the blast threw me like a rag doll of a distance of about 15 feet. So I feel like I was hit by a sizeable truck. But, hey, I’m walking it off.”

“Is the option of sleeping it off available?” Doc pointedly asked.

“Sleep is for the weak or dead,” came the blasé reply.

“Nicole…”

“Ok, poor choice of word.”

She would rest when they return stateside in a couple of day and until then, she’ll continue to report the news. Her body may not be fully supportive of that decision, but she’d learnt the trick of pushing exhaustion and fatigue to the back of her mind.

“You almost died,” Doc said unamused.

“I’m choosing to focus on the almost part.”

“I think Waverly has focussed more on the ‘died’ part.” Doc replied knowingly. “She was crying.”

Nicole hastily straightened up on the bed, and felt the room spin slightly at the sudden movement. “Waverly what?”

“Well, Dolls kind of accused Waverly of killing you. Not in as many words. But the sentiment was there.” Doc replied casually. “But then we found out you weren’t dead.”

“What?”

“Maybe I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.” Doc added, more to himself than Nicole.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Nicole tried to make sense of what Doc was saying. “What? Doc, what are you talking about?”

“You got exploded. Dolls then exploded. Yelled at Waverly. Which Waverly took because I’m pretty sure she blames herself for the fact you got exploded. But now they’re being weirdly friendly. Dolls called her mate. So everything is fine.” Doc casually explained. 

It still wasn’t making sense.

“Dolls yelled at Waverly?”

“Dolls blames Waverly for you being in a war zone. Waverly also blames Waverly. So they both seem to think the yelling was an acceptable course of action and have jointly decided to move on.”

“Doc…” Nicole sighed in frustration.

“Wait…” Doc cut in, “Waverly. It’s Haught.”

A brief, distorted conversation could be heard but it was too quiet for Nicole to discern what was being said. But within a few seconds, she heard Doc demand that Waverly take the phone and talk to ‘your’ woman.

Nicole heard Waverly exhale sharply into the receiver.

“Waves?” she asked tentatively. As she doesn’t have the strength to deal with any of the other crap from today’s bombing so she added, “I hear you and Dolls are bonding.”

“We’re the best of friends. Some would say mates.” Waverly replied, not missing a beat.

Nicole sighed as she leaned back against the pillows on the bed. The nurse had finished suturing her cuts and was now applying what seemed to be an unnecessarily large amount of gauze to her legs. Her superficial wounds had been more numerous than she had originally thought so her days of short dresses were probably over.  She knew she should be concerned about less petty things, but she’ll reserve those freak-outs for when her skull wasn’t pounding an incessant tune.

“What’s your stance on scars?” Nicole finally asked.

“Badass.”

“Really?”

“Yep.” Waverly said, popping the ‘p’. “You alright?”

“Been better. I’ve also been worse.”

“That’s not an answer Nicole.” Waverly replied softly.

Taking stock of the situation, Nicole peered down at her gauze covered legs. “Maybe a dozen or so stitches and they’ve whacked a couple of those butterfly bandages on my nose. And a blue cast. Fan of the colour blue?”

“Also not an answer.” Waverly chided her gently – Nicole was an expert at avoidance.

“It’s part of an answer.”

“Not the part I’m looking for.”

Nicole rolled her eyes at Waverly’s persistence, half glad that she was not here to see that. And half wishing that she was.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Waverly asked cautiously.

“I’m exhausted and I’ve been running on adrenaline alone for hours. I imagine this is going to hurt like a bitch tomorrow.” She answered, more candidly than she liked but Waverly wasn’t going to stop until she got a truthful answer. “Jeremy is still trying to get me drug script filled so without that, it’s going to be an interesting night.”

“Well, you’ll be home soon, right?”

“End of the week.” Nicole knew that she was repeating information that Waverly could access with a click of a button – they’re itinerary had been sent to everyone before they left.

“You’re not coming home sooner?”

“No. This story needs to be reported. And we are here anyways.”

Waverly didn’t respond immediately and Nicole felt she could practically hear Waverly chewing nervously at her lip through the phone. The silence may have been awkward but Nicole was too tired to examine what stage of silence her and Waverly were now in. But Nicole does hope that Waverly started to talk again because it was soothing her frazzled nerves a lot more than whatever drugs the hospital had pumped into her body.

“Are you able to wear body armour between now and then?” Waverly eventually asked. “I’m sure BBN will pay for an upgrade. You seem to be the unluckiest foreign correspond ever.”

“Or the luckiest.” Nicole contradicted.

“Ah, yes. Dolls was talking about your nickname. Irish.” Nicole loved the way it sounded from Waverly’s mouth. “Maybe just come home.”

“I will be.” Nicole murmured quietly, not sure if Wynonna had told her sister about her plans to leave. “Everything seems to have fallen apart since I left.”

Waverly chuckled quietly. “That tends to happen when you’re not here.”

Nicole frowned slightly and immediately winced as it pulled awkwardly at the butterfly bandages on her nose. “What are you talking…?”

“Nothing, just rambling.” Waverly answered quickly. “You’re in pain. And tired. You need to take care of yourself. Dolls and I have worked things out. Everything is dandy.”

“Dandy? Really?”

“Shut up.” Waverly lightly grouched. “And about the other thing. With Nina.”

“I know.” she interrupted. “Dolls mentioned it.”

“I’m sorry.” Waverly blurted which caught Nicole by surprise.

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for.” Nicole replied, speaking truthfully. “We’re not together.”

The response seemed to catch Waverly a little off-guard. “Okay.” But she doesn’t sound convinced and to Nicole, it sounded as if Waverly wanted to say more.

“You can apologise again if it makes you feel better,” Nicole lightly teased, knowing that Waverly was probably shouldering a lot more blame about the explosion than she was entitled to.

The nurse lightly tapped on her shoulder, asking her to free up her right arm for treatment.

“I’m sorry.” Waverly announced for a second time. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Well, I do, but I don’t think we want to get into that right now.”

“Ok.” Nicole said, not quite following the conversation. She puts it done to her killer headache and that fact that Waverly’s ramblings (which she use to know so well) sometimes sound like code. “Your sister has just stepped back in, I’ll put her on.”

Nicole handed over the phone and happily listened to Wynonna grouch lovingly to her sister at the terrible suspension in armoured cars.

\---

The cross to Iraq was allocated half of A-block and although the trip was supposed to be about the return to normality in Mosul, it had revolved to focus on the bombing. The fact the story now had a bruised and battered face to go with it standing on a Baghdad street made for good television.

The sight of that bruised and battered face made Waverly’s heart clench.

Wynonna stood beside Jeremy as he worked the camera for the cross. Satellite phone to her ear, she listened as Perry and Nicole conversed but found that her mind was wandering. Because honestly - she has no idea how Nicole was still standing.

After all of it.

Yesterday, Nicole had been inside the blast radius of a bomb and today she was on prime time television. Her eyes, even with a thick layer of concealer, were a dark purple and no make-up could hide the unmistakable sight of a broken nose. The gauze and cast were hidden away under clothing. Wynonna was also secretly impressed that Nicole managed to sound like the professional anchor when she couldn’t actually breathe through her nose.

And yet here she was talking to Perry about how the remnants of ISIS were attempting to destabilise the government through suicide bombings.

Waverly was also barely able to focus on the segment as Nicole and Perry discuss the recent events in Iraq. Nicole was doing exactly what Dolls warned that she would do – unable to stop even with a swollen face and broken arm. The heavy concealer wasn’t able to completely cover the black eyes.

Wynonna had been sending updates on Nicole so Waverly knew that she had got some sleep. However, she also knew that Wynonna and Jeremy hadn’t been overly successful at getting Nicole to stop.

“Government officials have released a statement saying that the truck had parked in a loading zone just up the road from the marketplace. The bomb filled the back section of the truck and was detonated by a driver, leaving thirty-eight people dead at the scene.” Nicole reported, as she glanced down at her notebook to get the number of fatalities correct. “Quoting a senior administrator from the Ninawa Governorate, the fatality count has increased to forty-five, with an additional fifty-nine injured with nine still listed as critical. The death toll could still rise further.”

“Fifty-nine injured, does that include you?” Perry asked, which caused Waverly to bite her lip. Although the questions had been prearranged, hearing the question was painful. Dolls accusation, although hurtful, had been true – Nicole had only left because Waverly hadn’t told her to stay.

But Nedley had insisted the question be asked - saying that the audience needed to know much to Nicole’s annoyance. When the live feed from outside of her hotel first came up, Waverly found that she was unable to breathe as she took stock of Nicole’s physical state. She looked so broken.

A small frown that formed at the corners of Nicole’s mouth was almost undetectable as she answered, “Yes, that’s correct.”

Nicole hated being part of the story and Waverly who was intimately familiar with Nicole Haught’s facial expressions knew that this one was irritated.  

“There has also been reports by the Governor of the region that the bombing was nearly identical to previous attacks carried out by ISIS. The difference that this time the United Nations mission was the target. But your sources are reporting something different?”

“Yes. My contact in one of the fringe groups attached to ISIS is saying that the terrorist group was unaware that the convoy had stopped in Karak. ”

“And what is being reported as the reason for the attack?”

“Retaliation due to the non-existent support the group received from the locals.”  

“So the presence of the United Nations convoy?”

“Entirely coincidental,” Nicole forcefully answered. However, her presence, and Jeremy and Wynonna’s was less coincidental. Nicole made the decision to return to a warzone and had to live with the consequences. “A fuel line on one of the trucks got damaged forcing the convoy to stop in Karak to wait for a spare part. During my previous time in Iraq, I spent some time in Karak and was showing one of the BBN producers around the local market when the explosion occurred.”

Gesturing from off camera, Wynonna gives her the sixty second warning to the end of the cross.

“Nicole, you spent nine months in the region and know the area well. Is there any more background that can be given to the viewers?”

Waverly bit her lip to stop herself from cursing – the question raised an uncomfortable reference to the previous time Nicole was overseas.

Briefly, Nicole discussed the instability in the region before ending with, “Nicole Haught, reporting from Baghdad, Iraq.”

When the segment ended and News Night went to a commercial break, Wynonna handed the satellite phone to Nicole as the control room didn’t cut the link immediately. Wynonna and Jeremy disappear, leaving the camera equipment on as both try to not listen to the Waverly’s and Nicole’s conversation.

“I heard you actually got some sleep?” Waverly asked, after it becomes clear that neither Wynonna nor Dolls were going to cut the link.  

“You know me and Norco, knocks me out.” Nicole replied as she wearily dropped her notebook back to her side. “I only realised I’d fallen asleep because my pillow was covered in drool. Wynonna and Jeremy must have finished the prep work without me. I must have looked lovely, drooling over the furniture.”

Waverly was sure that Nicole had looked lovely.

“I never had any complaints about your drooling habit.” Waverly replied, wishing she was there to count each breathe Nicole took as she slept. She wondered if Nicole would be open to the suggestion of recovering in her apartment.

“You better not have, you snore like a banshee. How someone so small can make so much noise is a medical mystery.” Something close to a real smile appeared on Nicole’s face.

Waverly huffed slightly – they’re had this disagreement before. “That’s you.”

“Are you sure you aren’t the one with a concussion? Because I pretty sure I can’t hear myself snore let alone cause myself to wake up. Beside Dolls, Jeremy, Wynonna or any of the other people I’ve slept in the same room with have never complained.”

“Everyone you just named – you’re their boss.”  Waverly countered.

“And the Marines?”

Waverly blinked rapidly at the screen, thrown by Nicole’s question.  

“You’ve shared with Marines?” Waverly dazedly asked.

“Yeah, of course. Some of them are pretty cuddly. And it’s much nicer to sleep on them than a cave floor.” Nicole replied with a grin before it slid into a frown. She gently prodded her nose. “I’m going to snore now aren’t I?”

“Probably. But I don’t think anyone will hold it against you.” Waverly answered softly.

Nicole forlornly signed. “Am I just going to you?” 

“Just a sec, I’ll cut if from the rest of the control room.” Waverly said as she pressed a couple of buttons on the board. “Now you are.”

Waverly was hopefully that Nicole would let her take care of her when she returned. But after everything that had happened, she wouldn’t blame Nicole for never wanting to see her again.

“Oh, you don’t have to but thanks.” Nicole looked briefly into the camera before dropping her head to look back at the ground.

“Are you okay?” Waverly asked concerned. “Nicole?”

Nicole gave another sigh before swaying slightly. The movement caused Waverly to tense, praying that Wynonna was paying enough attention that if Nicole fell, she would be caught.

“I’m okay.” Nicole replied, although it lacked any real conviction. “It’s just I think I’ve become a giant bruise. I want to crawl into bed and sleep for a hundred years. Legal wants us to rearrange our flights but I can’t even work out what day of the week it is.” Nicole ran her hand through her hair. “I’m sorry, I’m whiny and the over the counter pain medication isn’t really taking the edge off.”

“You have every right to be whiny.” Waverly replied in a small voice as she’s certain that Panadol was very ineffective and she hadn’t even seen all of Nicole’s injured.

“Although I guess this is preferable to a red mist so I really can’t complain.”

“Nicole.” Waverly gasped. “Don’t joke about that.”

“Alright, what did you want to talk about?”

There was a hint of something that Waverly couldn’t quiet place in Nicole’s tone of voice.

“That’s what I though.” Nicole added when Waverly didn’t offer a topic of conversation. “And, well, I didn’t want to brag, but I wanted to let you know that I’ve been put in charge of morale.”

“By who?”

“I did. It’s more of a self-appointed position. Everyone is walking around on eggshells around me. I needed to do something to lighten the mood.”  

Waverly rolled her eyes, “You would have to agree that this is the worst situation you’ve ever been in and that I’m responsible.”

“I would have to 100% disagree. ISIS and my love of conflict zones are responsible. But I have an idea, I don’t know if you heard that I was recently appointed the Director of Morale…”

“Fuck it.” Waverly muttered under her breathe, cutting off Nicole.

“What do you want?” There was a hard edge to Nicole’s question.

“The truth. How you are really feeling?”

“I really cannot have this conversation right now.” Nicole sounded steady and Waverly knew she wasn’t going to get anything out of Nicole by arguing.

“Right. You’re right. We’ll talk when you are back stateside.” Waverly quickly replied. “Promise me you’ll take more Norco?”

“It’ll knock me out. You know that.” Nicole responded, her tone taking on a defensive edge. Waverly know that she can’t fight with Nicole – not now.

“And then you’ll get some sleep.” Waverly said gently. “You do need sleep. You know that, right?” In her ear, Waverly heard the countdown at the end of the ad break.

“Sleep is for…”

“For the weak,” she interrupted. “I know.”

Nicole just looked so finished. Standing on a Baghdad street – pale and drawn. She had the appearance of someone who was upright on stubbornness only.

“Nicole, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in real life,” Waverly said, a hint of frustration leaking into her tone. “And that’s a statement I am standing by. But right now, you look like someone who was in an explosion and not one that survived.”

At that declaration, Nicole’s face morphed from fatigued to offended.

“Oh crap! That came out wrong…don’t…”

Dolls was in her ear reminding Waverly that it was ten seconds back and a dodgy skype connection meant something in C-block had to be switched. Waverly muttered a curse under her breath as she rapidly tried to gather her thoughts.

“Ten seconds back. Please get some sleep. Stay safe. I love you Nicole.” Waverly blurted out, the words tumbled from her mouth.

Waverly saw Nicole’s eyes open wide in shock, her shoulders tensed with what Waverly was afraid might be fear.

And just before the link was cut, Nicole stuttered back, “I… I love you too.”

\---

Waverly’s heart pounded and her hands felt clammy for the rest of the show. Dolls did the heavy lifting as Waverly was understandably distracted.  As soon as the show’s credits begun to roll, Waverly fled from the Control Room and headed back to her office.

She ignored the confused expressions on everyone’s face as they heard precisely what she had said. She hadn’t meant to say it, but every word of what she said was true.

Waverly had thought the declaration would have left her scared.

Instead, she had never felt so sure about something before – she loved Nicole.

She chuckled a minute later when Wynonna answered Nicole’s phone and told her that Nicole had actually listened to her and had taken the painkillers and gone back to bed.

“So when is your flight leaving Iraq?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I really appreciate all those that comment. 
> 
> There may not be an update next week but I'll try...


	12. Speed of sound

Nicole was absolutely sure that air travel was a form of torture for people with broken noses. So after an eight hour flight, Nicole was very grateful to be back on solid ground.

“Welcome to Heathrow,” Jeremy said with a thick, false English accent as he looked up at the sign welcoming them to the motherland.

“You’ll fit right in,” Wynonna muttered back sarcastically as she looked worriedly at Nicole. Although Nicole had slept on the plane, Wynonna thought that a strong breeze might knock the red head over. “We’ve got to get our bags.”

Their British Airways flight back to JFK wasn’t until tomorrow afternoon. Originally Wynonna had been annoyed about the delay at getting home, but now considered it a blessing.

They all needed to sleep as they were running on fumes.

“I wonder if Haught is tired enough to spill the beans on what is going on between her and Waverly.” Jeremy wondered aloud. With two hotel rooms booked for them during the stopover, Jeremy pondered if one wasn’t for Nicole alone. “Doc doesn’t know anything. And he always knows everything.”

“I don’t think they’ve talked. Since, well you heard it as well.” Wynonna replied. “So unless they’ve been emailing each other, I don’t think anything has changed.”

Wynonna called out ahead in the direction of Nicole, “Haught, why don’t you go on ahead and check in to the hotel. Jer and I can grab the bags.”

“I can help.” Nicole wearily replied.

“Don’t think you’re going to be much help lugging bags around an airport.” This earnt Wynonna a raised eyebrow that she just waved away.

Nicole had already checked on her phone – the hotel they’d been booked into was just up the road and no doubt they’d be a line of taxis outside the terminal to transport her to a soft bed.

“Or one of us can go with you…”Jeremy begun to offer.

Nicole shook her head, “No, I think I can manage to make it to the hotel. I’ll check us all in and meet you there.”

“You sure?” Wynonna asked, still looking at her worriedly.

Nicole nodded in reply, Heathrow airport was nothing like a marketplace in Karuk. She didn’t have to worry about getting blown up.

She didn’t have to keep an eye on Wynonna and Jeremy to keep them safe.

Yet she still could not shake the intense feeling of fear.

Getting through customs was quick, something that Nicole was very grateful of. The pain medication taken before the flight was wearing off and the short distance to the hotel was about all she could manage.

 She was pretty sure she would just collapse on the bed out of exhaustion.

It had been seventy-two hours since the explosion and Nicole still felt on edge and off kilter. Icing her face to reduce the swelling had been painful.

As had putting on concealer to hide the worst of the damage. She’d got some odd and concerned looks while boarding the plane with her battered face. So the prospect of hot water and a soft bed seemed divine.

Each beat of her heart seemed to echo all the way down to the tips of her fingers and toes. Her clothes, although kind to the lacerations on her body, seemed to be increasing in weight.

And even though she’d slept, she hadn’t slept well. Her head and nose still protested at every slight jostle as she winded her way through the seemingly never ending corridors of Heathrow Airport.

So, Nicole was sure it was some sort of clever hallucination or dream when she saw Waverly waiting by the exit for international arrivals.

Waverly was less waiting and more pacing restlessly - her hands played endlessly with the rolled up sleeves of her blazer. Waverly barely seemed to be staying in the same location for more than a few seconds.

And of course it was Waverly because of course she would meet them half way around the world.

Meet you in England, Waverly’s voice rung in her head.

Nicole supposed that her presence explained why Waverly hadn’t picked up the phone the few times she had tried to call her before they’d boarded the plane back in Iraq. 

The lack of contact made had made Nicole fear that Waverly had retracted the declaration.

So, the sight of the woman she loved lightened the weight on Nicole’s shoulder and each step didn’t seem quite so hard. But mixed with relief was also dread that coiled in her stomach and Nicole hated that it was there too.

Nicole still felt a hairbreadths away from collapsing and she couldn’t deal with this right now. Nicole wanted loving Waverly to be enough but it’s not and she can’t deal with the implications of that right now. She doesn’t want to talk about it, she doesn’t want to talk about her tendency of running or Waverly’s self-sabotage.

Or her near death experience.

These were all things that Nicole knew that they needed to have an open and frank discussion about but she can already feel the first tendrils of PTSD begin to settle into her chest so she can’t do this – this grand gesture and romantic finale.

Nicole needed a shower, clean clothes, and a bed.

In that order.

Love had to be enough until they got home.

When Waverly finally saw her, they were barely ten meters apart and Waverly didn’t speak, just gently took her bag off her shoulder.

“Sorry, for a while there, I thought you might be a hallucination.” Nicole mumbled at the same moment Waverly apologised for missing her phone calls. “It’s fine, I can see you were busy.”

Waverly smiled nervously, “I…after our… Well, after what we said – I wanted to be here.”

“You mean after we said…”

Nicole started to say because a part of her feared that the declaration had been a desperate construct of her concussed mind. Mere days ago, she had been impossibly close to getting blown up into little pieces and Waverly had had to pay off an ex-girlfriend to prevent the running of a potentially career ending story.

So Nicole felt that everything was just getting a little bit too much at the moment.

“I love you,” Waverly confirmed. And then realising Nicole was alone, “Where’s Wynonna? And Jeremy?”

“Getting our bags.”

“Oh.” With a nervous touch, Waverly’s hands skimmed down her arms, before one settled on her cast. “Did you want to sit down and wait for them?”

Before Nicole could answer, Waverly had lead her over to a row of seats in the waiting area near the door of the terminal.

“I was going to check into the hotel and meet them there.” Nicole said, not particularly bothered by the change in plans.

Immediately, Waverly changed track to head back in the direction of the terminal door, “We can do that. I’ve already checked in.”

But Nicole, having realised Waverly’s plan allows for a rest break dug her heels in and continued to head in the directions of the chairs. “We can wait here for them now. If I fall asleep, I know my bag isn’t going to be stolen with you protecting me.”

Wynonna and Jeremy should be following close behind and Nicole figured a rest may be wise. She allowed her legs to give out, completely happy to collapse into the seat. But Waverly wrapped her arms ever so gently around her waist to ease her down.

“Consider yourself defended,” Waverly said as her hand settled on the curve of her waist.

A small smile broke out on Nicole’s face as she rolled her head back so she could rest it on Waverly’s shoulder. Nicole found herself partially in Waverly’s lap and did not feel the slightest inclination to move. It took several seconds for Waverly to relax, but her hands move to settle on her waist, ensuring that she did not put any pressure on Nicole’s skin.

It was almost too easy surrounded by Waverly to feel her eyes drift shut.

Minutes pass, and Nicole opened her eyes to see Waverly watching her.

“What are you looking at?” she asked, surprised at how hoarse her voice sounded.

Waverly paused before answering, her eyes scanning Nicole’s face before settling on the bruised nose. “You.”

“I’m not exactly looking my best.” Nicole replied with a small grin.

Frowning slightly, Waverly lifted a hand to tuck a small piece of hair back behind Nicole’s ear. “You’re beautiful.”

“You said I looked like I died.” Nicole reminded her pointedly.

Nicole wasn’t 100% sure why she said it except maybe it was pre-emptive measure.

Or maybe she was giving Waverly one final chance to walk away where it was still early enough to pretend that none of this had ever happened.

Or perhaps Waverly hadn’t quite made it through those last lines of defence and Nicole’s overactive fight instinct was active.

Or maybe she just reminded Waverly of what she said because it hurt.

Instead of hurt or anger, Waverly’s face remained open and sincere.

“Those were poorly selected words and I regretted them as soon as they left my mouth.” Waverly’s hands gently ran through Nicole’s hair as her head rested on Waverly’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“You know, you don’t have to keep saying it.”

Nicole knew that she should want to say it back – to tell Waverly again that she loved her. She does – she loves Waverly. And at this point, her love for Waverly came more naturally than her ability to breathe. But it hurt to love Waverly a few days ago - it made her feel like running away.

So right now, loving Waverly hurt too.  

“I want to.” Waverly assured her, her hand still gently stroking her hair. Nicole watched Waverly swallow hard and glance in the direction that Jeremy and Wynonna should be appearing shortly with their luggage. Waverly turned her face down to look at Nicole. “I feel like…I need to say…I just need to say that I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry and I love you.”

Nicole sat up and tentatively put some physical distance between her and Waverly.

Waverly’s face fell slightly.

“Waves, less than three days ago you had to trade for a false and salacious story with your ex-girlfriend. And I almost died. Your sister, Jeremy – they could have died.” Nicole said, interrupting Waverly. Taking a deep breath, Nicole continued, “I really can’t do this. Not now. Not here. I’m barely awake. I love you, but can we just hold off on this until my head stops pounding.” Nicole tried to soften the stunned expression on Waverly’s face. “I need some time,” Nicole petered out shakily, worried at how Waverly would react.

More tentatively than before, Waverly reached out to touch her. Hands so tender as they clasp her, Nicole wondered if Waverly thought she’d shatter at her touch.

“I can wait,” Waverly whispered as she leaned close to Nicole’s ear. “I can wait forever if that’s what it takes.”

Groaning, Nicole chuckled slightly, “Not forever. The time apart has been enough.”

And just like the first time she saw her, relief and a feeling of home overtook Nicole.

“Figure of speech,” Waverly amended as she pressed her face into Nicole’s temple. “Will you let me take care of you at least?”

Nicole turned her head which bought their faces close together with the close proximity making it difficult to focus on Waverly’s face. Waverly’s breath was hot against her skin and Nicole realised that if she ducked her head slightly, she could rest her head on Waverly’s chest and hear her heartbeat. There was at least half a dozen things – all within reach, that she hadn’t been able to do for the last three years.

But Waverly pulled back so she could read Nicole’s expression. Nicole was still waiting for a look for pity or horror to appear on Waverly’s face but was met with a soft expression. 

“There’s a fair probability that you and Wynonna are going to have to carry me to the hotel. Wait…the booking is only for two rooms.” Nicole said and even though Wynonna and Jeremy already intended to share, she does wonder if Waverly had presumed or whoever had booked the rooms didn’t know that Waverly would fly half way across the world.

“I’ll book myself a room when we check in,” Waverly replied.

“No, it’s fine.” Nicole answered with a smile as she settled down against Waverly’s shoulder again. “You’re always cold and apparently I’m unseasonably warm. I’m sure we can work it out.”

“My bonus blanket.” Waverly sighed lightly.

All Nicole can think of at the moment is locating their two missing producers and somehow stumbling to the hotel and collapsing into bed. The possibility of said bed containing one Waverly Earp was something Nicole was still struggling to wrap her head around.

“Hugs are out of the question at the moment aren’t they?” Waverly asked as her thumb lightly traced the edge of Nicole’s cast where it met the palm of her hand.

“Afraid so. I’m one gigantic bruise at the moment.” Nicole replied with a murmur, her gaze flicked briefly to Waverly’s lips. “You can kiss me though, if you want.”

“Nicole…”

Waverly looked nervously at Nicole, unsure.

“I won’t break Waves,” Nicole whispered, although she made no move to initiate contact.

Watching her face for any change in expression, Waverly curved her body towards her, leaning down to bring their mouths close. Waverly switched to holding her hand as she pressed her lips to Nicole’s, the touch so light to avoid aggravating any of her injuries. Slowly, Waverly bought her other hand to trace the side of Nicole’s face, her fingers lightly skimming her jaw as her tongue gently traces Nicole’s lower lip.  

And then Waverly sighed with what Nicole hoped was satisfaction as she pulled away.

They both smiled.

\---

Laden with multiple crates filled with equipment and struggling to also pull Nicole’s suitcase, Jeremy headed towards what he assumed was the exit. Wynonna, being more of a hindrance than a help, cursed loudly for Jeremy to slow down.

Then Jeremy saw Nicole and Waverly and that caused him to screech to a stop.

Wynonna, focussed on wheeling their luggage, ploughed into him.

“She came,” Jeremy said breathlessly.

“Well I be damned,” Wynonna added as she took in the sight in front of her. “I know Waves asked what we were planning on doing – but I didn’t think she’d actually come.”

Jeremy watched as Nicole and Waverly kissed, “Huh?”

Wynonna just chuckled quickly and muttered “Those crazy kids.” Her first instinct was to report this recent development to Dolls but was reminded that Dolls was mad at her and she should be mad at him too. But then the sight before her just made her happy so she pulled out the satellite phone and punched in the number. 

When the call finally connected, Dolls sighed into the phone and from across the Atlantic, Wynonna could tell that he was happy.

“So she went?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay in posting and the short chapter.
> 
> So I'm not sure how much longer this story will be. When I mapped it out, it pretty much has one or two more chapters as I can really only write angst and happy stories aren't my thing. 
> 
> But I will be finishing it.


	13. A sky full of stars

The water turned off and Waverly heard Nicole step out of the shower. Doing the maths in her head, Nicole’s shower had been less than five minutes which probably gave her enough time to rinse her hair and wash her body. Waverly briefly wondered if Nicole was even allowed to have showers between all the stiches, lacerations and a cast.

Was Nicole supposed to keep them dry?

Waverly silently cursed as she realised her research skills had let her down.

These were the kind of things she should have learnt _before_ meeting Nicole.

She sat on the edge of the bed, directly in the middle.

Waverly wondered if Nicole still slept on the right side of the bed?

Nicole hobbled out of the bathroom wrapped in an oversized white towel and Waverly wasn’t even sure that her eyes were open. Nicole crossed the room and headed towards the bed and sat down on what had traditionally always been her side.

With a heavy sign, Nicole lay back onto the bed and Waverly could see that Nicole had finally started to relax. Nicole dropped her hands from clasping the towel against her front and so for the first time, Waverly saw the full extent of her injuries.

Waverly had to bite her lip to prevent a whimper escaping.

“Babe?” Waverly turned to lean slightly over Nicole.

“Yeah?” Two bruised eyes slowly opened to look at Waverly.

Nicole’s eyes were more bloodshot red than Waverly had thought as they stared back at her. Waverly can’t tell if that’s from the blast or the sleep deprivation. But for all the unanswered question including the ones that she can’t ask Nicole, Waverly does know that she is the root cause of how Nicole ended up here – and like this. And even if Waverly doesn’t fully understand why she let Nicole run away for a second time, she’s not stupid enough to voice those concerns now.

Because in the end – it doesn’t matter. Nicole still left. And she still dated Nina Howard, who then proceeded to attempt to run a takedown story.

Pushing a tendril of damp hair off her face, Waverly gently stroked an unblemished patch of skin near Nicole’s temple. “You never answered the question. On if you want me…do you want me to take care of you?”

“Is falling asleep naked a valid option?”

Waverly frowned, worried that Nicole was already reassembling the walls and deflecting. “That’s not an answer Nicole.”

With a ragged sigh and her eyes still firmly shut, Nicole shuffled slightly to settle fully into the soft mattress. Nicole was stalling – Waverly can tell and she feared that with how much she had hurt Nicole in the past was stopping even the most simple of tasks now.

Despite the fear of rejection, Waverly gently laid her hands on the corner of the towel the encased Nicole’s body. The towel had started to creep up exposing the fluorescent purple bruising that coloured Nicole’s thighs.  

“There’s a first aid kit in my duffel bag. There should be some betadine, gauze and tape.” Nicole finally mumbled, much more tentatively than Waverly wanted her to sound. “Doctor’s orders were to redress all the cuts that required stitches.”

Waverly bit her lip for a second time at words ‘ _all the cuts_ ’.

Slowly, Nicole opened her eyes but Waverly could see that Nicole was fighting a losing battle to stay awake.

“I can manage that,” Waverly assured her, as she gently stroked her temple. “Just go to sleep. I’ll take care of you.”

“You just want to see me naked.” Nicole said with a crooked smile, the comment slightly lightened the mood in the room.

“Pinky promise that when you wake up, you will be fully clothed.” Waverly murmured in reply. “I love you. Try and get some sleep while I take care of you.”

Holding Nicole’s gaze until she nodded in agreement, Waverly again murmured “Get some sleep babe.”

In response, Nicole exhaled deeply and closed her eyes once again.

Waverly slowly slid off the bed and headed over to Nicole’s duffle bag. When she opens the bag she saw the medical supplied sitting on top of the rest of the contents of the bag. Kneeling between Nicole’s legs, she gently begun to tend to her injuries. Unable to stop herself, Waverly counted the stitches, her heart clenched as the number steadily increased.

Waverly’s hands gently tried to sooth a particularly angry looking cut on Nicole’s wrist.

“It’s fine.” Nicole mumbled, as the light touch of Waverly made Nicole awaken and jerk her wrist away. “Not going to break.”

But somehow, Waverly become even gentler.

Because even though a rough touch would not (and could not) break Nicole, she still deserved to be treated with love.

By the time Waverly had finished reapplying the gauze and antibacterial gel into her skin. Nicole’s breathing had deepened and evened out.

Standing up, Waverly gently pulled the towel away from Nicole’s body as she figured sleeping in a wet towel wasn’t really appropriate.

The pyjamas had been an impulse buy at the airport. Nicole’s sleeping clothes tended to be old basketball jerseys that Waverly had always found incredibly cute but the somewhat scratchy material wasn’t suitable for someone covered in cuts and abrasions.

So the soft material of the way too expensive pyjamas were slowly put on Nicole.

Limb by limb, Waverly put of the pyjamas on and then tucked Nicole under the covers.

Job done, Waverly stood and felt a wave of exhausting wash over her.

The stress of Nina, Genoa, the explosion and finally a transatlantic flight to be at the side of the woman she loved had finally caught up with her.

Realising that she herself has no sleeping clothes, Waverly riffled through Nicole’s bag to dig out the jersey.

It was strangely comforting to pull out a Spurs jersey.

Turned out, some things do stay the same.

Quickly undressing, Waverly pulled the jersey on and slid into bed next to Nicole. Wanting to be nearer to her, Waverly curled herself around the taller woman and cautiously fit her arms around Nicole’s torso.

Nicole’s breathing had changed.

It’s her nose, Waverly knew. Nicole’s lips are parted for her to breath. She also knew that Nicole probably needed some more pain medication, but figures that being asleep – Nicole can not be in too much pain.

Waverly found herself counting each of Nicole’s breaths until sleep took her too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I may have lost interest in the story. So one chapter to go which I'm chipping away at. But as someone who hates it when stories aren't finished, I'm endeavouring to get it done.


	14. Paradise

It’s chilly outside and as they turn the corner, Waverly felt the wind pick up causing William to tighten his grip in her hand. Looking down at the same moment her son looked up, Waverly grinned at him. William, with a blue beanie and his cheeks slightly pink, happily returned the smile with interest.

“You ok?” She asked.

“It’s cold Mama.” He replied, his eyes wide as he took in the city street.

“Lucky we are getting hot chocolate then.” Waverly opened the café door and ushered William ahead of her. She pulled the beanie off the top of his head and immediately realised that William had only half attempted to brush his hair before they’d left the apartment. The cowlick at the back of his head seemed to have escaped his notice.  Running a hand over his hair, Waverly quickly realised it was a futile gesture.

It’s quiet inside the café which isn’t that surprising considering how cold it was outside. Mother and son joined the line with just a couple of people ahead of them as William scanned the empty tables. Waverly knew which one he would choose – the one by the window.

Reaching the front of the line, William immediately pushed his face against the glass, trying to see what the options were.

“You want to get up here so you can see properly?”

William nodded and held up his arms, waiting for his mother to scoop him up.

As soon as he’s lifted, he immediately turned to focus on the display of treats in front of him – his little face creased in concentration.

"Chocolate doughnut, Mama." He pointed at it, the excitement leaking into his tone. Waverly can’t help and grin – her eldest has a sweet tooth a mile wide.

Just like someone else she knew.

“Please.” William quickly added, knowing that manners were important.  

"And hot chocolate?" Waverly asked.

“Yeah!”

“Excellent choices.” Waverly smiled as they moved along the counter. “How about you also pick something else for Mum and Kenzie.”

“Can we?” To which Waverly replied with a nod causing her son to turn back to the food on the display to ponder the options. “Pink doughnut for Mummy and a muffin for Kenzie.”

Waverly just smiled and gave William a kiss on his forehead before placing him back down. The barista smiled and Waverly took her son’s hand before he could wander off and cause any mischief.

Placing the order, Waverly felt William tug at her hand when she mentioned that two of the baked goods were take-out.

“The one with sprinkles for Mummy.” He said, pointing at the doughnut in question.

“Oh, she’ll love that.” Waverly replied, nodding her head as the barista held up the doughnut requested.

“Thanks,” Waverly said with a smile as she handed over cash and moved down to the end of the counter to wait for their drinks. Looking down at William again, Waverly handed over the take-out bags, “Do you think you can hold these? And go find us a table, Billy?”

“Can we sit by the window?” William asked, to which his mother replied with a nod. William headed over to the table and sat down, waiting for Waverly to join him when their drinks were ready.

Waverly had just reached the table and was about to place the tray down in front of William when she saw a familiar face heading towards their table.

A face that Waverly had not seen in a very long time.

Muttering “shit” under her breath, Waverly saw that William’s eyes widened and she knew that she hadn’t quite said that as under her breath as she’d hoped. Grinning at William, she placed the tray down and moved his drink and doughnut in front of him before straightening up.

And found herself face to face with Nina Howard, her arms folded and an unreadable expression on her face.

“Hi Waverly.” She nodded, glanced down at William who had started to devour his doughnut while watching a street sweeper pass the window. “How have you been?”

“Good,” Waverly replied, awkwardly playing with the hem of her sweater. “Yeah, good thanks. You?”

“Oh you know...” She waved a hand dismissively and smiled. “Good...but busy, thanks. And Nicole?”

"She's fine, really well, she's at home with Mackenzie..." Waverly caught sight of William attempting to unzip his coat and coming dangerously close to sending his drink flying off the table. "Sorry, just a second."

Waverly moved over to where William is sitting and moved the hot chocolate out of harms way. Knowing that her eldest child hated to fail at anything, William continued to wrestle with his uncooperative coat.

Admitting defeat, William finally looked up at his mother with a frustrated frown.

His face is so serious, Waverly had to bite back a giggle. That face was 100% Nicole.

“Need a hand with that buddy?” Waverly softly asked, as she took the piece of doughnut out of his hand. “I’m not taking it away from you, but how about we tackle the coat with two hands?”

“Okay” William sighed in frustration, “I can do it Mama.”

“I know you can,” she replied softly and she unzipped his coat partway before letting it go. “But sometimes things get stuck and you need a little help. And that’s ok. I bet you can do the rest all by yourself.”

William unzipped the rest of his coat and took it off, dropping it onto the vacant chair beside him. A proud grin spread across his face, as he held up his hand for a high five.

"Good job, Billy," Waverly said as she gave her son a high five before he returned his attention to the doughnut with gusto. Waverly turned back to Nina who was smiling down at William.

“He’s incredibly sweet Waverly.” Nina said, her voice soft and her tone genuine. That surprised Waverly so all she could do was nod in agreement. “And adorable too. He’s three now?”

“Yeah, turns four at the end of the year.” Waverly said as William reached for his hot chocolate. “And thanks, he’s a good kid. They both are.”

“He looks so much like Haught.” Nina added. “I guess you hear that a lot. He has her eyes.”

“And hair.” Waverly replied with a faint shrug. “It’s how he has me wrapped around his little finger. I should have known we’d end up with two red heads.”

“I guess you’ve always had a weakness for that.” She smiled, which Waverly found herself returning as she noted the hint of sadness in the other woman’s eye’s as she watched her son. “You are really good with him.”

“I guess…thanks.” Waverly said, knowing that Nina was right. It’s taken her (and Nicole) a whole lot of time to get here.

“Tell your friend what we have in the bag, Mama.” William said suddenly, looking up with his face slightly smeared with icing.

“Why don't you tell me?” Nina smiled back at him and William glanced at Waverly who nodded at him encouraging.

“We have a muffin for Kenzie. She’s my sister, but she’s still a baby but she likes muffins…” William paused and smiled back at Nina before continuing. “And a doughnut for Mummy. Because she likes doughnuts too. Like me! And Aunty Nona. And it has sprinkles.”

“A doughnut _with_ sprinkles.” Nina replied with a grin. “I’m sure she’ll love that.”  

“Oh, she will,” William said with the utmost conviction before turning to take another rather large bite from his own doughnut.

“Well, I should go order and let you get back to your snack,” Nina said as she gestured in the general direction of the counter.

“Sure. And I should…” Waverly trailed off awkwardly as she nodded slightly in the direction of her son. “I’m glad you are well Nina.”  

“You too Waverly,” She replied as she started to walk away before turning back. “I hope you are thankful for everything that you have. Your family. Because…well, I would be.”

Waverly didn’t respond as Nina turned away. She could hear the sadness in Nina’s voice.

“Mama?" William patted her arm softly and Waverly flopped down into the chair.

“Good doughnut?” She asked, kissing the top of her son’s head, a hundred different emotions and feelings coursing through her body.

“Best doughnut.” William replied with fervour, making Waverly giggle.

Her son was a bit of a goofball.

\---

She was sitting at their dinner table with a pile of newspapers when she heard the front door open and the unmistakeable sound of William bounding towards the kitchen.

“Hi sweetie.” She smiled as William leaned into her, his breath hot on her cheek.

“Are you doing the papers Mummy?” He asked, tilting his head curiously as she unzipped his coat.

“Yep, got to stay up to date with what is happening in the world. Do you want to help?”

"Yep." He nodded enthusiastically before suddenly remembering his hands were currently occupied. “We got treats for you and Kenzie.”

“You did? Thank you.” Nicole took the offered bag and peeked inside. “Is this muffin for Mackenzie?”

“Yeah, but look what’s for you Mummy. A doughnut!”

“Wow. My favourite.” She leaned down and dropped a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you. Do you think we should finish going through these papers and then have our treats?”

“Okay,” William replied as he let his coat drop to the floor beside him. She was about to tell him to pick it up when Waverly walked into view.

“Is that where we hang our coats?” Waverly asked as she picked up the coat as a small frown danced across William’s face.

“No, but I'm helping,” he said as he turned to face Waverly.

“I’m sure Mummy can survive the minute it would take you to hang up your coat.” Waverly watched her eldest debate the issue before finally conceding and taking the coat hand heading back up the hallway to hang it up.

“Hi you,” Waverly said softly as she leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of Nicole’s head. “Is Mackenzie still sleeping?”

“Yeah,” Nicole nodded and frowned slightly. “She seemed off this morning. Maybe she caught something?”

“Did she throw up?” William asked as he ran back into the room, eye alight as vomit and all things gross were his current obsession. Both his parents blamed Wynonna for this – she had been making slime with William and it was currently all he could talk about.

“No,” Nicole said with a shake of her head. “She didn’t throw up. She’s just a bit grumpy this morning.”  

“Maybe a muffin will make her feel better?” William pondered. ‘Doughnuts make me feel better.”

“I think you might be on to something,” Nicole replied with a laugh as she ruffled her son’s hair. “You ready to work on the newspapers and maybe Mama can check on Mackenzie?”

Waverly just smiled at the two of them and headed back out of the kitchen.

But not before glancing back over her shoulder and seeing William take up the same position as Nicole and begin to ‘read’ the newspaper in front of him. Waverly couldn’t stop the grin that spread across her face – he really was a mini-Haught.

“Did you have fun with Mama?” Nicole asked, highlighting an article that should be followed up on Monday.

“I had a hot chocolate _and_ a doughnut,” he replied, as William copied his mother and also highlighted part of a newspaper article. “And Mama had a coffee and talked to a lady.”

“Oh,” she raised her eyebrow slightly as she flicked over to the next page. “Was it a lady you knew Billy?”

“Nope…and Mama said a bad word when she saw her.” He looked up at her mother with a grin. “But then I got a doughnut.”

Nicole handed William a second newspaper to begin colouring so he happily popped the cap off another highlighter.

Looking up, Nicole smiled as Waverly walked back in with an awake, but sleepy looking Mackenzie in her arms.

“All my babies are here,” she said as Waverly returned her smile and Mackenzie tucked her face against her mother’s neck. “Hey sweetie, are you still sleepy?”

Waverly sat down with Mackenzie on her lap, the toddler’s eyes fixed on her older brother. William stood up and lightly tickled his sister causing Nicole to smile, knowing he was copying what he’d seen his parents do.

“Muffin, Kenzie?”

“How about we let her wake up first and then she can have some of the muffin.” Waverly said.

“And Mummy can eat her doughnut too?”

“She sure can,” Waverly replied as she handed her daughter the sippy cup of water she was grasping for in front of her.

“So…Billy said you guys had fun this morning,” Nicole said, taking one of the many uncapped highlighters out of her son’s hand. “…And that you said a bad word.”

“Mama did.” William interjected but doesn’t look up from completely colouring in the front page of the New York Times. “Like you said when you broke that plate.”

“Really?” Waverly looked at her, a smug look on her face.

“Who did you run into?” Nicole asked as Waverly's grin quickly disappeared.

"What? When?" Nicole knew her wife’s panicked face and she’s wearing it right now as she answered. “Oh, yeah…briefly, really briefly, more like we just crossed paths with Nina Howard.”

“You know, her full name isn’t necessary.” Nicole replied as she stood up and took William’s hand and led him to the sink to wash his hands because no doubt he’ll be eating at least some of Mackenzie’s muffin. “If you just said Nina, I don’t think I’d think you were talking about Nina Dobrev.”

“Because I’m not a closeted Vampire Diaries watcher?” Waverly replied as she showed her daughter what was inside the bag they’d bought home from the café.

"Yeah, exactly that.” She bought William back to the table and slid a plate in front of Mackenzie. "Well, that and as far as I know, you never had a thing with Nina Dobrev."

“Can confirm that never happened.” She broke the muffin in half and hands a piece to Mackenzie and one to William. “I just wouldn't want you to think…”

“I don't think anything.” She stopped Waverly and gestured for the bag as she pulled out the doughnut. “She doesn’t cross my mind Waves. No ever. You could just say, ‘I bumped into Nina today and she seemed well.’ It’s not going to send me running off to a war or on a killing spree – just for future reference.”

“Okay.” Waverly nodded, a hint of a sheepish smile on her lips. It’s an issue that they’d talked about numerous times since Nicole came back from Iraq. But sometimes, even though Nicole promised that Waverly has nothing to feel guilty about – a crippling sense of shame would wash over Waverly. The hurt, the fact she nearly lost everything. “She asked how you were, and she said something sort of...well, I kind of got the impression she envies my life, or our life, I guess.”

“Pretty sure it’s my life she envies.” Nicole said with a grin as her eyes opened a little wider when she saw just how many sprinkles were on her doughnut. “I really don’t think it’s me she wished she’d married.”

“Sprinkles, Mummy.” William said, talking a bite of the muffin he’d been given.

“I love the sprinkles, sweetie." She takes a bite of the doughnut, before glancing up at her wife because she can feel Waverly’s eyes on her. “Was your baked good this bright?”

“I had a croissant. Sadly, it was sprinkle free.” Waverly replied.

“Well, that’s no fun at all,” she said, standing up. "I'm going to put some coffee on.”

Nicole had just hit the button to turn the coffee machine on and was reaching for the mugs when she felt her wife’s arms slide around her waist. The contact made Nicole jump as she had assumed that Waverly was still at the table. Waverly turned her around and gently pushed against the kitchen counter and wrapped her arms around Nicole’s neck.

When Waverly leaned forward to kiss her, its slow and sweet and Nicole felt herself lean further into her wife.

Nicole sighed when Waverly broke the kiss and knew that the drop of Waverly’s hand to hers was so that she wife could spin the wedding ring on her finger. It had become a calming habit for Waverly of sorts.

After all, it was a ring that Waverly had placed there.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” Nicole asked, thrown slightly off balance by the look in Waverly’s eyes.

“Oh, nothing really…” Waverly said, her eyes still firmly on Nicole. “Well, actually, I guess just…everything.”

“Who knew you were so romantic?” Nicole said, a hint of gest in her voice, not wanting to push Waverly. She’s aware that Waverly has a list of thing that still send her into a fog of guilt. And Nina Howard was on that list – more specifically what Waverly had been doing with her when Nicole had run away.

The list was something they’d discussed and worked through when they’d got back together all those years ago.

It had been painful.

Sometimes, Nicole had wanted to walk away.

Because sometimes it all just seemed too hard.

But they’d found their way back to each other.

A way back that had resulted in a wedding.

And two very adorable kids.

So if Waverly needed to reassure herself of something that they both absolutely knew, Nicole wasn’t going to stop her.  

“I know,” Waverly said with a shrug before glancing back downwards the table and groaning slightly.

“What?”

“Your children appear to have decided that you no longer want the remainder of your doughnut and are currently devouring it like wild animals.”

“Why are they mine when they’re monsters?” Nicole asked. “And those are our precious babies you’re talking about.”

“I think we can both agree that we should be blaming my sister for this.”

Nicole snorted at the comment.

Wynonna had taken to being an aunt like a duck to water. Sure she was unorthodox, but William and Mackenzie loved their crazy Aunt.

Both women stay where they were and watch their eldest divide up the doughnut and share it with his sibling. That definitely wasn’t something he would have learnt from his Aunt.

Breaking the silence, Nicole asked, “You ok?”

“Yeah.” Waverly replied quickly with a sigh.

Nicole just raised her eyebrows, waiting for her wife to elaborate.

“Just how close I came to never having any of this.”

“Waverly…” Nicole started, not dismissing the demons – but hoping to alleviate them.

“I know, I know.” Waverly said, putting her hand over Nicole’s mouth which she promptly licked causing Waverly to roll her eyes. “I love you. I love this. I love our life.”

Nicole’s eyes softened at the words as Waverly dropped the hand from Nicole’s mouth. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised - the final chapter. Hope it lived up to anyone's expectation - fluff is really not me but I did promise a happy ending. 
> 
> And I would just like to thank everyone that read and commented on the story. I enjoyed writing it and hope everyone enjoyed the read. I've loved reading everyone's comments and the response from the last chapter gave me that final push to finish it. So thank you all.


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